I have witnessed the great void
It has found me in my many nights alone and detached from
The fingers and lips and curves I once knew
and now only half remember as ecstasy and warmth
Even then, after we untangled our pulsing bodies
Straightening anything we could make straight
I felt the shame of not feeling enough
Halfhearted towards the lover that unknowingly gave everything
All to someone who had nothing real to give
A child that couldn’t muster up real care
So now I sit with the great void, and it knows me too well
I place all that I deem as precious around it, because that is as close to filling an abyss one can get
By letting others near it, showing them that it exists, hoping they aren’t afraid to fall in
But it swells and sometimes I think that it’s stretching
So I lock my precious things away before they are swallowed forever
Though I’m not so good at mending myself, it seems nobody else can find where to place the tourniquet
My heart will mumble hackneyed motivations on these nights
He will even quote Mark Antonius in an attempt to promote sanity
“Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief…”
Grief is grief, I tell him, no matter how it breeds
We cannot hide from what it so deeply rooted in our being, we cannot run from our own existence
And if I’m mistaken, if you find a path that leads to a lesser pain
Please take all of us hurting ones with you