#retransition

[steelestallion]

Gender is a social construct there will be detransitioners. That means there can be retransitioners.

You can be a man now. You can be a man in the future. You can live your true self in the bedroom, in life, in your hopes and dreams.

You cannot tell anyone transitioning is mental illness. No, bad boy.

[dhddmods]

In case anyone isn't aware, status-quo-hater has said some exorsexist things, pluralphobic things, and has a double standard for contradictory labels & separating transness from sex/AGAB.

This is a post meant to make its followers aware of whether or not their identities are respected, and aware of its harmful stances.

We do not encourage harassment of this individual.

[PT: We do not encourage harassment of this individual.]

It has yet to address its harmful posts, which bothers us greatly. It needs to make it known whether it has changed its views, or if it is going to double down on its harmful standpoints.

Status-quo-hater has, in this post and this post:

1.

-Said that to identify as a trans woman, you have to have "transitioned into womanhood" - while simultaneously saying that non-binary people who are SPETE (someone perisex expected to estrogenize) cannot identify as trans women (thus equating non-binary womanhood to binary womanhood, when they are separate experiences.) This directly harms non-binary women who are SPETE (ie; demigirls, girlfluxes, multigender women, etc), as it is treating them as either a cisgender woman (which is malgendering by only acknowledging their womanhood) or genderless/gender neutral (which is misgendering by ignoring their womanhood), and implies that they have no social or physical transition towards womanhood necessary. That is untrue. Non-binary women who are SPETEdo have to transition towards womanhood - it's just a different type of womanhood than what was previously established. This falls into the same narrative as calling them "basically cis." It also separates non-binary women who are SPETE from non-binary women who are SPETA, by allowing some non-binary women to use the trans women label, but not the other ones. This is hypocritical considering it has said in the past that it doesn't think trans people should be defined by their assigned gender/sex.

2.

-Said that trans women who are SPETE are misusing the "trans women" label, which completely ignores re-transitioning women (ie; "detrans" women, who are re-transitioning into womanhood.) Is their transition back into womanhood not a transition?

3.

-Told plurals how to identify their genders, as a singlet. It has no right to input on this whatsoever, and should leave that to the plurals within its community. (We swear, no matter how plurals identify their genders, singlets will always argue and never be satisfied.)

4.

-Blatantly stated that it does not support coffeebean transmascs & honeybee transfems.

[recoveringfemale]

hnng im getting so much encouragement in dms its only further reassuring this is exactly who i am meant to be. a good little cuntgirl for my dickgirl superiors!!!

taking a cheeky tab of acid cuz it always helps reinforce my feelings 💗💗 i appreciate any encouragement and will be trying my best to reply to everyone 💗💗💗

[selenic-echoes]

I do not have a penis anymore.

I'm probably going to repurpose this blog for bimbofication or feederism or hypno or something but we'll see I guess.

[sapphic-boy]

thinking about how i feel like i read as a transfem, i don't look like how most transmascs look, i think, i am trying to look androgynous, i have male-associated traits like a deep voice, facial hair, flat chest, etc. and then i accessorize in a feminine way, i have long hair, like to do my nails, carry a purse-looking ita bag, and wear feminine jewelry

i think people who see me see me as either a transfem or a gnc cis guy, i've been mistaken for a transfem in public and online

i am actually tempted to identify as an afab transfem, tbh, i feel like im re-transitioning, im in this body that has male-associated attributes and im trying to make it more feminine, i like the term revi-transfem, and ive even thought about partially identifying as a detransitioner, though i feel this is part of my transition and im not "going back" in any real way, as im presenting femininely in a way i never did as a kid, as a kid i hated femininity and outright rejected it. i've also heavily considered identifying as transmascfem,,, i feel like i cant be alone in this experience and i want to find community, but im not sure where to look,,, help

[carnalcannibalz]

Pawing off to a dude trying his best to be a girl and watching how much they struggle to adjust their old dress over their new body. Call that forcemascoff.

Expecting their hips and curves to fall back in the same place that they were before starting with the transition and becoming more frustrated at the changes they made to themselves.

Comforting and consoling them as you up their estrogen to improve the softness of their skin and the smell of their sweat as they live in the undersized outfits that are trying desperately to cling to a frame they don’t have anymore.

[florencekinnie-slash-hj]

Dashcon 2 and some personal reflections

Watched Strange’s dashcon video and I started tearing up and getting all sentimental over how they spoke about their relationship with niche Internet history during their panel.

Being a person in my early 20s, who’s in college and reckoning with my childhood being over, seeing them talk so fondly about the one place that was the closest thing to a safe haven that I had growing up is really a full circle moment for me.  

My experience online wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Early onset internet access mixed with child neglect was legitimately traumatizing in a lot of ways. But hearing how Strange spoke with fondness, about things that I often times feel I need to relinquish in order to become a “real adult” was really heart warming, since a lot of the time when I think about me being a chronically online child, I think of it in terms of how many formative experiences I’d possibly missed out on.

As much as I believe that to be cringe is to be free, I suppose that on a subconscious level I’ve began to conflate respectability with giving up on a lot of things I used to identify with in my youth (while ironically returning to fandom spaces and revisiting the exploration of my gender identity in the past few years, things that I’d previously distanced myself from due to trauma and social ostracization).

Watching the footage from people at dashcon 2 be unpolished, enthusiastic, jazzed, and unapologetically free, it was really healing and validating. Especially in an online age where everything is so polarized and polished and rage bait-y, and where it feels like the only solution to that is to get offline completely, it was really nice to see that there is still that pure, unbridled essence that was able to hold me when I was a little freak with no friends.

I’m sad that I learned as I got older, in order to make friends, I needed to abandon the things that were my refuge. I’m glad that now as an adult I’m allowing myself to circle back around to what I’d once abandoned in the name of progress and growth.

[lovingk9z]

I Don't Want To Be Alone Anymore.

At the time of writing this, I'm 21, started my medical and social transition from ftm at 12, and after 8-ish years of testosterone I'm now fully off HRT.

I lived virtually my entire life, thus far, as a trans man.

Before anyone reading comes to their own conclusions, no I was not groomed, and I love the trans community. I grew up with y'all. Queer spaces are where I've felt most at home.

There's a level of grief I'm experiencing, grief that I feel so, so alone on. The moment I could finally reconcile with the fact that I was never trans... who I could've been, and who I ended up being has been a daily thought.

As someone still grappling with the tail end of an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, my physical reality is incredibly isolating. On my worst days, I feel like a monster. Like some horrible amalgamation of mixed parts. Far from acceptable. Anything but beautiful.

I do my best to not, but there is a subconscious jealousy and ever-present comparison to other women, cis and trans alike.

Detransitioners are such a niche. I've never met another person like me, and it's difficult to even spot anyone similar online. If I do, they often come with horribly radical and harmful beliefs, or haven't experienced the near full extent of a transition you regret.

And it's more than physical.

It's social, it's mental.

I was born a woman, born with the parts, share the same struggles, yet feel like an intruder in women's spaces. Like there's nothing I could ever do to be "woman enough".

I lived 8-9 long years as a transgender person, desperately trying to understand myself, to be myself, whatever that meant at the time, yet there are a large enough number of queer people who see people like me not as family, but as a traitor.

I see my community minimizing the detrans experience by telling us we not only don't belong in trans spaces, but we can't claim to understand the trans experience, and we don't even deserve our own safe spaces or labels.

I'm hearing that we're just cis people who made a mistake. That just our existence is responsible for the death of trans men and women who couldn't find access to medical care.

But I've been through the same wringer every other trans person has.

I spent my entire childhood objectified, judged, questioned, harassed, sexually assaulted, bullied for being trans.

I've been called all the same names and slurs.

Growing up in a time and place where being trans was fairly "new", I was completely othered. Either outcasted or treated like a freak of nature to observe and test.

I've lost family due to my identity. I've moved cross-country after being pushed out of the local medical system.

I know that in a very technical sense I am cis but I still feel far from it. I know I'm not trans but my experiences have shaped me into something trans-like, or maybe completely other.

I'm a woman, not a man, not some form of nonbinary, but I'm also not cisgender.

Do I still, truly not belong? If trans people aren't my family, then who is?

I don't know if even an ounce of this makes sense to anyone but myself, and that's exactly why I'm writing about my experiences here.

I'm not looking to make enemies, or to start discourse around detransitioning. I have my thoughts on the medical system but I'm not here to preach. I don't hate trans people, I don't want to keep anything from trans people, every one of you deserves nothing but respect and peace.

I just want to stop feeling so isolated. I want to belong somewhere. I want to be understood. I want to be discussed, in a human to human kind of way.

I love, and I just want to be loved too.