Gonna pass something onto people here regarding the claim that self care is selfish. I’ve been seeing a lot of online posts about Philippians 2 as religious fervor rises and I wanted to combat that with something.
Revali is a fellow headmate and guardian spirit, and I’ve asked him regarding his pompous and sometimes destructively prideful attitude. He responded with something that honestly changed the way I look at self care. The reply was as follows:
“Chrome, when a kinsmen is loyal to his country, he does everything to protect it. That means tempering his weapons, restringing his bow, and repairing his tools. If he fails to do any of these, his weapons may falter or his tools may break, and he will fail at his task. This can cost him his pride, his honor, and even his life. And just like a damaged tool isn’t serving its purpose well, a person who isn’t at their best isn’t giving the best to their countrymen.
“Self care isn’t selfish at all. It’s an admission that you aren’t able to give your best to your loyalties. Therefore, to repair the tool of your own mind, body, and spirit— to show loyalty by giving your best— you have to take time to repair yourself.
“This was why I always pushed myself to my limits and was harsh on my fellows; with a Calamity at the gates, everyone needed to be giving what they could. I knew my country and my people deserved the best. And if that meant being proud of myself or taking a moment to breathe or pushing others to work hard, I didn’t see it as arrogant— I saw it as loyalty. I saw it as loyalty to give one’s best to everything because it meant that you truly believed that your loved ones were worth the effort.
“Self-care is therefore not at all a selfish act. It’s an act of loyalty, not only for yourself but for the people whose happiness you work hard to protect when you aren’t resting.”
I still think about this and it’s been a few weeks since he explained it. But ever since then I’ve made an effort to not guilt myself over taking a break to care for my mental health. Before I returned to Hylia’s Care in this life, I was taught how selfish self-care is by institutions and crummy people who saw people like me as work mules. I still spend time scrubbing that crummy idea from my brain but since Rev lives here with me, he can just… remind me.
And when he does it just goes away.
And yes, it’s more than just the “self-care” part too. Sometimes complacency is a part of harm to oneself and when I struggle to act, I’m reminded of that need for loyalty as well as he pushes me to action in my stead.
Couldn’t ask for a better spirit. A better friend. 💕
