Abby: *Laughs* Ro, you had a crush on me? Thats embarrassing.
Romance: we're married.
~~~~
Abby: So, you like cats?
Romance: Yeah.
Abby: *Tries to impress him by knocking a glass off the table*
~~~~
Romance: I'm trash.
Abby: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. 7 sound okay?
Romance: You smooth motherfucker-
Romance: And yes, it does.
~~~~
Abby: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Romance: *Steps on a caterpiller and proceeds to drop to his knees and sobs while apologizing profusely*
Abby: That one. I want that one.
~~~~
Romance: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Abby: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Romance: *Getting down on one knee* that's because it is.
~~~~
Abby: Romance and I are no longer friends
Romance: ABBY THAT'S A HORRIBLE WAY TO TELL PEOPLE WE'RE DATING!
~~~~
Abby: Hey Romance, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Romance: What it would be like? Inconvenient probably.
Abby: No I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Romance: Can't really say I have.
Abby: You know, as someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Romance: Sorry Abby. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly have no business bringing up anybody.
~~~~
Abby: You are the love of my life and I'd do anything for you within reason to make you happy.
Romance: I would be happy if you ate normally, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep instead of living and breathing workouts.
Abby: ..I said within reason, Romance. How about I go murder that guy?
Romance: So murder is within reason, but proper self-care isn't?
Abby: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?
~~~~
Abby: Last night was a mistake.
Romance: a sexy mistake.
Abby: no, just a regular mistake.
~~~~
Romance: Okay, if you're not gay than why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and calling me your boyfriend?
Abby: Dude- it's satire!
Romance: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!
For @dukeswonderousmenagerie 🫶











