#rocarter

[ozvicario]

“ do you regret letting me close ?”

“No,” he answered, a cigarette to his lips. Oz took a moment to inhale what it offered as he reflected through his muddled and disorderly thoughts. “I needed to know you, to see what she saw in you. You were an important part of her life and she’s important to me.”

 Oz turned towards Ro, the golden boy whose light was love itself. “I don’t even hate you,” he admitted, tapping the ash off of the cigarette. Sometimes he wished he hated Ro; a selfish part of him wanting to hold onto the girl they both loved. Even then, he knew; there was no one who could love or be loved like Ro. 

“If you hate me, that’s fine,” he said, taking another drag. “It was nice standing in the sun for a moment,” he said, shutting his eyes and letting the moonlight drown him. 

[len-covello]

“ do you wish it was you instead ?”

She wished he was horrible, that would make it easier. She wished that there was some crooked, cruel streak in him that would make it easy for her to hate him, to cast him out and curse him. But he wasn’t. He was beautiful and he was kind, and love touched him like sunlight, she knew that she would always want to bask in it. “Yes,” she replied quietly, and she felt wretched for it, her voice rasping over the truth like an orchid over gravel, petals shredding and falling behind. “Isn’t that fucked? I wish it was me, I wish it was me, I wish it was me,” she repeats in a whisper, a sullen sort of prayer said under her breath. “Don’t hate me for it, I’m trying to get over it.”

[mickeyvillegas]

👁️

👁️  :    your  muse  is  watching  mine  sleep ,   when  my  muse  suddenly  wakes  up   &   catches  them .

Golden boy, whose sooty lashes cast long shadows against the bronze planes of his cheek- if he was Eros, the tip of his famous arrows had pierced his own chest: Apollo would no longer lust over Daphne, both gods could tangle in the throes of love for another. Orion had earned a constellation and he was jealous of pattern in stars and by the shell of Rowan’s ear, Mickey murmured his desire for the two of them to have an entire galaxy. Most days he felt as though his belly swam full of celestial fragments, and the feeling had seeped into the quiet hours of evening, where the other man slept. He wanted to trace the outline of his lips, to disturb him as he committed the shape of his brow to muscle memory, memorizing the way that he felt even in the dark, even without sight.

( I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. )

It was a weak thing, to miss someone so fervently when they rest- to crave the curve of Rowan’s laughter by his ear and the warmth of his mouth, he supposed that he could have closed his eyes as well, settled into an arm that splayed against the cotton sheets where his own body normally would have laid. Instead, he whispered a phrase that they’d volleyed so many times before; Nyx would be their witness and the goddess of night would carry the oath to her own bed. “I love you.”

Rowan stirred and Mickey’s heart catapulted into action, like a rabbit at the sight of a foxes’ russet fur, but instead of moving he stayed stock still, a shadow waiting for Peter Pan to reach out and reclaim. A sleepy smile curved upon Rowan’s mouth and Apollo yawned and cracked open an eye to peer back at him. “You mean that?”

He could have spoken, vocalized a response, but instead they tumbled together; two forms becoming one and he answered in the press of hungry lips to skin. 

[len-covello]

🧼 but len washing injured rowan xo

 :    your  muse  bathes  mine  after  my  muse  sustains  an  injury  or  illness . (a time before hype house)

“It’s not so bad,” Ro insisted, though she noticed how he couldn’t quite look at the cut— it wasn’t deep enough for stitches but it was ugly, held together with the dried out bandaids she’d found in the back of the medicine cabinet and a little kiss she’d smacked in the air above it. A kitchen accident, a clumsy turn on the chopping board and tragedy struck— dinner lay forgotten and she played the role of Florence Nightingale. She even ran a bath for him, though he barely fit in the excuse for a tub in the tiny Hemlock Dock’s apartment they shared— his knees cresting above the thick layer of bubbles like sun touched mountains peeking out above the clouds. “You’ll probably live,” Len agreed, sitting at the side of the tub, her cheek resting on the porcelain ledge, her fingertips lazily swirling half circles in the water. “But like, danger lurks around every corner. Sepsis, infection, the thing where fungus gets into your blood…” She trailed off as she caught his expression, horrified but trying his best to keep it together, his lips pressed together in a firm line. She laughed, and the clouds broke, his lower lip jutting out in a pout. Len almost apologized right there, but he was faster, pulling her up into the tub and holding her tight as she wriggled, water and suds spilling over the lip of the tub and flooding the bathroom floor, his laughter ringing in her ears.

[lilywhittaker]

8 & 17

How do you behave around people you like?

Although she’s an introvert, Lily is also very warm and welcoming and would go out of her way to make someone feel appreciated. Of course she prioritizes inner circle (closest friends, Cora, and Bash) but even for someone she doesn’t know very well, she’ll go out of her way to interact with them so that they feel comfortable.

Of the sexual partners you’ve had, how many were “serious” or “long term”?

“Just Bash, actually. I was under the impression that some of the others I’ve had were serious, but it turns out they weren’t as serious about me as I was about them. You live and you learn, and eventually find the person who loves you the way you want to be loved.”

[johnbernsteinx]

1, 7, 20

1. What’s your biggest fear?

“The thought of something happening to someone I love is probably the biggest fear I have by far. I went through something that really put my view on life into perspective for me. It only made me realize that we do only have one and as morbid as it sounds, it can end at any given minute, so I hold on to those who mean a lot to me a little tighter. I’m also terrified of leaving the world without leaving a dent in any way - maybe that’s a pretentious thing to say but as selfless as I try to be, I’d hate to say my goodbyes knowing no one will remember me.”

7. What is your biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for you before?

“Communication, funnily enough. For someone who talks as much as I do and could go on about pretty much anything forever, I’m terrible at communicating my wants and needs with my partners - at least when it comes to my expectations. Maybe that stems from me trying to be thankful for what I got with no complaints but I tend to keep my mouth shut when it matters and when I finally choose to open it, anything spills out but not the words I’ve been meaning to let out. It’s definitely destroyed one of the most important relationships in my life, yes...because I was too caught up in bottling up what I needed to say to save our relationship or at least end it in a way that felt fair and not as painful as it was in the end, when it really didn’t have to be. I’m trying to be better about it - but it’s hard work.”

20. What do you think is your sexiest feature?

“Hm...I don’t know if that question even applies to me. Actually, I'm not even sure if the word sexy applies to me. I don’t really see myself that way but maybe that’s a whole other thing to unpack. I mean...I have nice hands, I’d say? Maybe I should pass that on to my boyfriend instead because I’m lost on that one.”

[mickeyvillegas]

5, 13, 14

What do you usually wear to bed?

“Briefs, sometimes sweats if it’s cold- unless it’s Christmas, then I’m wearing the full blown matching set with reindeers on it and everything.”

When was the last time you were truly happy?

“There was a boy who swallowed the sun and crawled into my arms. He told me I was made of love and because the stars winked back I believed him.”

Do you believe in soulmates?

“I don’t think that there’s just a single soul for a single person, that’s too finite and too confining.”

.

[bashlandrya]

3 & 17

Strangest thing you’ve done while drunk/high?

Of the sexual partners you’ve had, how many were “serious” or “long term”?

“Three? I guess.”