Forever and Always
[BG3WIPs prompt 1- penguin: overcoming hardship]
can also be found on my Ao3 :) -- full work below the break --
Sikah was, to put it lightly, pissed. Her body ached and her wounds stung as the party stumbled back to camp. The battle they'd just fought was completely avoidable if Karlach had simply let Sikah talk to the damn cambions before smashing their skulls in. Her impulses were usually rather beneficial, but when dealing with Mammon and his court of Dukes, Sikah felt that she had the upper hand; and she wanted to use it.
She ignored the party as Shadowheart began recon by the fire, healing cuts and bruises. Instead, the rogue went to hide away in her tent. Sikah had a stash of healing potions stored in her chests, and the bitter taste of the medicine would match her mood.
Karlach watched as Sikah slunk to her tent. She knew that her partner was cross with her after the events of that day’s adventure, but the barbarian was determined to prove herself. After Shadowheart cast a quick healing word over her injuries, Karlach marched over and ripped the flaps of Sikah’s tent open.
"I don't think you have any right being angry with me after your own reckless behavior, Sikah."
"Ever heard of knocking?" the smaller woman scoffed as she unlaced her wrist guards.
Great, now they were playing the blame game. Sikah didn’t lose the blame game.
"Oh? My reckless behavior? Enlighten me, Karlach, what was the reckless behavior I exhibited today? Knowing the cambions in Mammon's lair, knowing Mammon himself? Trying to talk to them before causing a scene? I used to fucking work for them, I could have easily lied our way in there!"
Karlach shook her head. "Maybe you've forgotten that we were in the Hells and anything to do with Mammon is never going to be a simple task."
"The devil had me under his thumb for years, Karlach, I know that shit isn't simple," Sikah threw her leather armor to the ground, the scarring across the upper left of her body more apparent without it. "I never said bashing was out of the question, I thought we all had a mutual agreement to try and snake our way in before doing anything brash. Gale and Shadowheart aren't as accustomed to the Hells or strong as we are, they would have gotten killed much faster than us." She crossed her arms as her tail flicked angrily. "I know how you feel about the Hells, but you have to remember that you aren't the only one who's suffered there."
"That's precisely my point. I was keeping everyone else safe, including you. But you can't stand not having control over the situation, so you just… hyper-focus on whatever you think is best and don’t listen to anyone else." Karlach angrily threw her hands up in the air.
"Karlach, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm not a frail maiden in need of protection. I can hold my own. Mammon and his cohort are a different breed of devils, and you aren't the only tiefling who's been damned to the Hells. I was trying to use my advantage to get us through without fighting… at least not fighting out the gate. What part of that do you not get ?"
"The part where you assume I don't understand the situation. I know how they manipulate and control. They'll never trust a tiefling, regardless of what you think you know about them. You were never going to get the upper hand without a fight. Why do you think I chose to go in alone?"
"I..." Sikah bit her tongue. Perhaps Karlach was right. None of those devils had ever, or would ever trust a tiefling, all they ever did was exploit them. Even when Sikah worked under Mammon’s Duke, Focalor, he easily agreed with Zotian and sold her off to Mephistopheles without batting an eye.
"I wish you didn't think you always have to go in alone. I wish you would have left some of them for me to kill. We have a team, we have allies, we have each other." The shorter tiefling looked up into Karlach's fiery eyes. "I know you want to protect me, but I'm not a helpless damsel in distress."
The barbarian's face softened as she reached out a hand and gently touched Sikah's cheek.
"If you only saw what I've seen in Avernus, you would know why I can't let someone I care about get hurt."
Sikah leaned into Karlach's touch and sighed.
"I do see what's in Avernus. I've seen it, and I know you've seen far worse, but for that same reason, I don't want you getting hurt. I know you're not as quick to buckle under axe blows as me, but... I'd never forgive myself if something happened and Zariel found you. If she took you away from me."
Karlach pulled the other tiefling into a tight hug. She hadn't expected Sikah to be as outwardly concerned for her as she was, but maybe that was her fault. As far as the barbarian knew, the rogue had always been rather independent. Karlach gently rubbed the rogue’s back with one hand. "You don't have to worry about what happens to me. But you should be concerned with yourself. Remember this: Avernus will tear you down to the bone if you give it the chance."
"I do worry about you," Sikah wrapped her arms around her lover's strong waist. "I fear that your recklessness is because of your hourglass of time." As her head lay upon the woman's chest she listened to the mechanical sounds of the engine that took the place of her heart. "What's the point in protecting me if you aren't there to be with me? If you aren't alive by my side? I don't want to live a life without you."
Karlach was taken aback by the sudden vulnerability of Sikah’s inquiries. She rarely openly asked for reassurance. If Karlach had a heart, she was sure it would have skipped a beat. A feeling of profound warmth blossomed within her chest as she held the other tiefling a little tighter.
"I know my time is limited, Sikah; but as long as we have each other, that's all that matters to me. I would be willing to die a thousand times over if I had the chance to save you. My future is in you ."
"Then live with me." Sikah looked up at Karlach, a look of stubborn determination on her face. "I know you despise the thought, but Dammon could be right... If after all this tadpole shit is over and through, we go back to Avernus, together. We buy you more time, buy us more time. Hells, who knows, we might find something to repair your engine for good."
If the party's brief trip to Avernus that day had anything to show, Sikah thought it was decent proof that the infernal smithy’s proposition wasn't all that farfetched.
The possibility was enough to make Karlach's mind wander. The mere thought of continuing her existence in Avernus for even a minute more than she was destined had always terrified her, but the idea of having Sikah by her side made that terrifying thought seem not so terrible after all.
"Is that what you want? For us to go back there, together?"
"More than anything," Sikah stood on her toes and pecked Karlach's lips. "I know I've got nothing on your ten-year stint, but two years in an infernal prison gave me a decent preview. It's shit, I know, but with good company and motivation, maybe it wouldn't be so bad?"
Karlach returned the kiss, a wide smile spreading across her face. It was tempting, the possibility of more time with Sikah; and if the two of them worked together, maybe they could figure something out.
"You know, you're not half bad at swaying me with your words. But don't think that this will be easy. I may have made a lot of progress, but I still hate that damn place."
"And I’m not asking you to love it, just… tolerate it. Who knows, maybe one day we'll be able to return to Faerûn for good. Live the rest of our days together in a nice house, just the two of us, maybe a cat or two" Sikah dragged her finger over Karlach's glowing chest.
Karlach laughed softly as Sikah’s touch sent ripples through her. As she spoke of a peaceful and safe life for the two of them, the barbarian couldn't help but get caught up in the idea.
"Do you really want that? A quiet, mundane life for us? What would you do if we weren't fighting for our survival?"
"Hmm, I dunno," Sikah pondered for a bit, tracing her fingers around the metal of the valves in Karlach's shoulders. "Maybe I'd open a jewelry shop, make a bit of gold the honest way for once," she chuckled, "I'd spend lots of time with you of course; lay in a nice, plush bed every night in your arms."
A soft groan rose in Karlach's chest as Sikah's touch made her engine pulse and burn with desire. The image of the two of them together, with Sikah's arms wrapped around her, was more than the barbarian could bear.
"That would be so damn nice, Sikah. We could make anything an adventure. Just the two of us together. That's all I want."
The barbarian took a deep breath, steeling herself.
"We're getting distracted."
"And that's a problem, how?" The rogue deviously smirked at Karlach. "It's late, half the camp is asleep by now, I doubt they'd notice if you spent the night in my tent..."
Something snapped inside of the barbarian as she contemplated Sikah's suggestion. Her words were suggestive, and the implications of them were clear.
No one would notice if she stayed with the tiefling, and… Karlach had to clear her throat to try to get rid of the sudden lump of lust that had developed in the back of it.
"We have an early morning, you know that."
Sikah raised a brow and laughed, a genuine, toothy grin on her face.
"The Karlach Cliffgate having a responsible bedtime? Who are you and what have you done with my lover?" She patted the barbarian's cheek. "The night is still young, Gale's just now put out the fire..."
"Shut it, you." The barbarian's cheeks flushed as she was teased. Sikah was right, the fire had freshly gone out, leaving the pair in the dim candlelight of the rogue’s tent. Her partner’s words easily cut right through the layer of self-control that was barely holding itself together. Karlach bit her lip to keep herself from smiling too much.
"Stop."
"Change into your camp clothes and come back? We don't have to do anything too... rigorous. I just don't want to be apart from you, after today." Sikah bashfully admitted.
"Stay?"
And there it was: the moment when the last shred of resistance melted away. Any semblance of self-control was gone, and Karlch was left wanting nothing more than to be next to the other.
"... You really want me to?"
"I do," Sikah nodded, her hand caressing the woman's arm before reaching for her hand. "I want you to stay with me, for as long as you'd let me; and I’m not just talking about tonight." She intertwined their fingers, hoping that Karlach would get the message.
The barbarian understood the message perfectly. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Mmhm," the shorter woman nodded, "always."
"Promise me something." Karlach brought their linked hands up to her lips and kissed Sikah’s knuckles.
"Yes?" The rogue looked up at her expectantly.
"Promise me that... if we go to Avernus together... if something goes wrong... that you'll come looking for me, no matter what?" She leaned down to rest her forehead against the other’s.
"I promise," Sikah squeezed her hand tight, her heart straining at the thought. "I'll always find you, even if I have to go to the deepest pit of the Hells, even if it takes all the years of my life. I'll find you. In every lifetime and in every universe." She swallowed the nervousness in her throat.
"I love you, Karlach. The past months we've spent together have been the best of my life. You've helped me see the world in a different light, helped me heal wounds I didn't know I had." She smiled shyly. "Tadpoles be damned, but I'm glad these parasites led me to you."
With those words, Karlach's chest began to burn with joy— not unlike the fire of her engine, but it somehow felt different. She was moved in a way that she hadn't been before, and for a moment, Karlach felt that any worries or responsibilities could wait until tomorrow. All that mattered to her now was the tiefling in her grip. The barbarian kissed the thief’s forehead and pulled her close to her chest.
"I love you too," she whispered, "more than you could ever imagine."
"And we'll be okay, as long as we have each other."
“Always.” Karlach smiled as she held the other tiefling in her grasp. With Sikah in her arms and her engine beating steadily in her chest, she felt truly alive. And for the first time in a long time, she felt hopeful. As long as they were together, they could take on hell itself.