Italy's Vanishing Cultural Legacy
Summer is coming to a rapid conclusion in this part of the world. Oh wait no it's not... This day was like walking around inside a hot saliva mouth. My shirt! My odor!!
A lot of things came to a head on this day. For instance, we spent the entire summer so far forgetting to visit our local famous horsetrack for their luxurious breakfast buffet.
Egg cheese mash
Sausage... the greatest sausage
Some kind of au gratin potato bloxx
Donut, but a small one
Pretty okay apple granola crumble pie thing
Orange Juice while waiting in line
Seriously no waffles?
Cranberry Juice while waiting in a damn line
Oatmeal with a bunch of stewed fruits
No fraunch toaste? No haute cakes??
Bagel con cream cheese
Hold me closer, tiny muffin
Usually we would have eaten this twice by now, each time following it up by hopping on a tiny tram for a tour of the various manure piles. I don't know what got into us this year. But just so we're clear on this - Google image searching "horse breakfast" actually yields a completely relevant result.
Most of a box of ginger snaps
Today was a day of reckoning at the gym. I've been getting super scrawny baby weak on two of my main lifts probably because of blix blox burp bzzz click click click beep bzzzZZZzzz zzzZZZ zzz 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 ¸¸.•*¨*•♫¸¸.•*¨*•♫¸¸.•*¨*•♫¸.•´
...so I figured some cookies would probably help that.
Girl Scout Samoa Candy Bar
BBQ Chicken Pizza
Reese's Cups
I know it's been a minute so maybe you don't recognize that it's happening, but this is a real ass pig weekend for once. I woke up and unceasingly ate my way through the maze, seeking power against the colorful ghosts that chase me.
Nice and-a SPICY Sicilian Chicken Soup
Rigatoni Martino
VINO
Thanks to the reality of Everywhere, USA, 1985, I experience a cognitive dissonance where "Italian Restaurant" can summon mental images of quiet romance, candle light and fine wine while simultaneously conjuring memories of tabletop Dig Dug and a room-temperature salad bar of fresh campylobacter and intestinal roundworm.
I don't think I am alone in this confusion since, over the years, that very contradiction has developed cohesion and sentience, crawling from a thick sweet swamp of Ragu with ropy tentacles of fusilli hurling hot wads of unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks at a burping but shamefully satisfied populace.
Now there are cathedrals built upon those giant cream sauce-infused bodies, attempting to reform the perpetual motion of the cheese grater into something of quality like a teen boy installing a lift kit and spoiler wing on his 1989 Hyundai.
But Carrabba's is all right.
CAKE
It was also my MOM'S BIRTHDAY. Her many Samsung devices required a new car charger, which is unfortunately not available in gold or platinum causing me to be the cheapest and worst son.
Then we decided to be the only people under 50 at a STEELY DAN concert. They forgot to play "FM" even though a dude made a sign clearly requesting "FM". He held it up for the entire show so I am sure they must have seen it.
Sam Adams Oktoberfest
Half a box of Life Cereal
Sam Adams Oktoberfest
I've shriveled out of fighting shape to become a pasty jellyfish who gets full and sleepy after two beers like some lightweight 7 year old.