consider: ryan trying to find a "sexy" costume to show jeremy --ryanthepowerbottomguy
Okay so you BET this man goes through a TONNE of options - there’s the obvious angel costume but he doesn’t like the wings, the devil outfit but the horns don’t fit quite right - there’s your normal cop and your naughty cop and Ryan’s not…against the handcuffs, honestly. And are those trousers - latex?
(He scrolls past a maid outfit online and knows that it would send Jeremy into hysterics and he’d probably laugh so hard he cries. Ryan’s tempted to get it just for that, but the price tag isn’t worth it.)
YOU GOT
YOUR WITCH/WIZARD OUTFITS. With a velvet cape and glittery booty shorts and sure, Ryan’s dating a guy who once dyed his hair purple and orange but Ryan’s got some dignity left. He hopes.
He’s briefly torn between horror nurse and naughty nurse - the only difference is that instead of blood stains, the naughty one has an open top and suspiciously tight trousers. They would make his ass look great.
A S S L E S S C H A P S.
Sexy superheroes? Ryan takes one look at the Batman booty shorts and immediately closes the page.
He’s not sure if he can make a zombie sexy like Meg can, but he could pull off vampire, he thinks. Remembers that time he accidentally bit Jeremy’s shoulder and Jeremy came right then and there.
THE SEXY PUMPKIN COSTUME. It’s even got a fucking hat.
SEXY SKELETON. (There’s a naughty skeleton version which also has a dick bone but that’s just too inaccurate for Ryan - dicks don’t even have bones.)
He eventually goes back to the a s s l e s s c h a p s and he finds a matching hat (not Jeremy’s) and even a little sheriff badge he can stick on the waistband.
And he feels more than a little ridiculous changing into it on the night of Halloween, after trick-or-treaters have gone by and while the house parties blast into the midnight hours - when he knows Jeremy’s munching through all the leftover Paydays probably without even taking his Dracula fangs out and has no fucking clue what Ryan’s about to walk out in.
Jeremy’s fangs fall out of his gaping mouth when he looks at Ryan.
(They may or may not end up fucking over the kitchen table, Jeremy’s fake blood smeared over Ryan’s lips and the badge trapped between the table and Ryan’s hip.)

















