#sadtoyhours

[moonkisseddolly]

Me: im in so much pain and im looking at small things to use around the office to help myself out, but im really shy around using them around my coworkers. Maybe i’ll just wait until im the only one in the office?

Friend: You need the support, don’t be shy about using it. You can’t help being disabled. It’s not something you should be shy about or hiding. If you can do your job, that’s all that matters.

Okay, maybe it will buy some cute compression gear and wrist braces, and take a second glance at canes again

[moonkisseddolly]

Series of events since sunday:

Driving home late at night after a show, amd ran over a whole ass tire on the highway (thankfully it was popped and didnt have the metal bit).

10min later almost hit a deer that was tap dancing in the middle of the road.

Next morning: while moisturizing after a shower, my hand slips while oiling my tit and catches onto my piercing hard enought to tear my nipple.

20min later: get scheduled for a job interview! Yay!

40min later: start having one of the worst migraines I’ve had in a while. Goes to lay down, only to have extreme sleep paralysis.

Today: woke up still feeling violently ill. Actually spends the majority of work unwell and sitting down, because standing for long periods of time makes it dizzy. Felt better towards the end of the work day/at home. But is immediately unwell again later (ie: now). We have an allergic reaction on top of that 

[moonkisseddolly]

Its one of those days that im so sleepy and grumpy, but also sososo needy for attention/affection and theres nobody is around. Which for some reason its taking it personal which makes no sense!!!

[moonkisseddolly]

Am i actually slightly suicidal and unlovable, or is my period just wreaking havoc with my brain?

[moonkisseddolly]

Suddenly worried its not her favorite anything. Not toy or friend or girlfriend. Which is so stupid and silly, becauae shes never done anything to cause these doubts.

Like, currently that my biggest anxiety with all of my relationships. I had a nightmare about my performance friends yesterday, and spent a good chunck of the day thinking the same thing about the group chats im in.

Its already been known in regards with my family.

But today im just worried about her.

[moonkisseddolly]

Its actually really fucking shy. So trying to get familiar with its new coworkers has really been a struggle.

Its younger, no kids, fave things are burlesque/circus, horror, and kink. It also just feels so awkward, like everything it says is some form of  misstep 

[moonkisseddolly]

Spent its day off, after a 7day work week, sick and naueous. Back in office today with a migraine from hell and nauseous af.

This job is trying to kill me

[moonkisseddolly]

Prepping for a photoshoot while in a unstable depressive episode is really such a trip.

Had no energy last night to do any prep. But enough to wake up at 5:30/6am to do everything at once