Now this entry is from a ways back, I want to say May of 2009. So I was still kind of green, truthfully I had been studying Wicca for a few years at this point (maybe 8 years?) but I was getting really serious with my path at this point. And I wrote this up feeling so proud for having figured out a thing without anyone having told or shown me. I had put all these little pieces together like, why were the points of the pentagram corresponded to the elements in that arrangement? What makes this invoking instead of banishing? Why do I have to say it this way?
Because you say "this is how we do it and we've always done it like that" I'm the kind of person who's gonna ask why. There's a reason, always a reason why a tradition is held.
So an outfit that gets me hyped for magick? Nah, that's really not my style. I wear a lot of black, but that has more to do with a throwback to my heavy goth days, ten-fifteen years ago, that I really can't seem to shake off. Because goth is a just a style, a music genre, a scene to share with other people who share similar tastes, a philosophy to live by, a counter-culture identifier.
But we have to consider that Witchcraft by its very nature is also counter-culture, and media has assigned it a mode of dress and symbolism and stereotype. It is very easy to conflate "goth" with "witch" because so many stereotypes have perpetuated it. And yeah, a lot of goths happen to find their way to occultism. A lot of Witches enjoy the power of wearing all-black.
And because I equate my sometimes spooky wardrobe with a subculture-influenced style, I can't wear it when I cast a circle. It ties me too much to the realm of the mundane, it's too normal. Most importantly, I'm bringing too much of a persona into the circle, when I really just need to be bringing myself, stripped of all that societal construct shit.
Stripped, literally.
And I had considered just posting a (tasteful) nude of myself, because that is the most accurate portrayal of what puts me in the right frame of mind for work. But how many other people understand that concept? They see flesh and think of what potential pleasure can be derived from it. That's only one aspect of my nudity. So many don't consider the power that exudes from my flesh. Or maybe they do, and it scares them. It's easier to think of body as object, because to consider otherwise is to risk the possibility that someone else's physical presence can cause a change in you. Can you begin to understand why Witches should be feared? The very taboo of owning my sexual naked body, and not using it to entice, is considered abhorrent to some. And that is a source of power.
You get a twofer, because I been doing all kinds of decorating.
We went to an apple harvest festival couple weeks ago, all these neat vendors and shops open, and I kept seeing these wooden stars all over the place.
Now, it’s really common to see a big ol’ star hung on a house, or a barn, I swear to you, person who hangs a protective star on their property is as Baptist as they come. But it’s a thing. I bought a little one, and I decided to hang all the beads on it, and I have no idea where I got this little Goddess pendant, but I felt it belonged in the middle there. At the time I bought it, my husband thought it was silly, but once he saw what I did with it, he thinks it’s very pretty.
And just before Samhain I had picked up a cinnamon broom from the store, and I have a thing about winding ribbons around a broom handle. Red and black felt like a good choice.
Oh, and I had spruced up our altar for the dead in celebration of the season. Put fresh flowers on it and everything. My husband’s egun stick underneath there. It’s a little strange that I have a rosary and a prayer book on the altar too, but it feels right.
Okay, something about me, I am fucking terrible about remembering my dreams. I sleep so deep and it is so hard for me to wake up in the morning, like it takes me about half and hour to get to full consciousness. And I can sleep through anything. Oh, and if you get me drunk enough I will sleep walk. Won't remember a damn thing either.
And truthfully sleep is a time for mental defragmenting, has been for a number of years. I expend so much mental energy through the day just to get me through, I don't want the stimulation at night.
With that being said, I'm really making an effort to change some habits, mostly to get out of my head and better center myself throughout the day. Stop with all the stimulus. Then maybe my dream sessions will be more productive. I feel like I'm closing myself off by not making the effort.
And I try. I downloaded a lucid dreaming app to ping a noise while I sleep, like a conditional response to ask myself to do a reality check. Does it work? Fuck no, I don't hear shit when I sleep. I rarely acknowledge a passage of time when I'm unconscious. When I was drinking my mugwort tea that helped a bit, but I have to get off that habit for... reasons.
So I'm brainstorming other solutions. Meditation before bed, make a dream pillow, but that's as far as I've gotten. If anyone has a great suggestion, I'm open to it, because this is putting a damper on my ability to actually receive messages when I'm asking for them, and there's probably a few who are irritated by my thick headedness.
Day 11 - 30 of the 30 days of Witchcraft challenge
Day 11 - Altar’d state
I don’t really have a set workspace currently as I still live at home and my parents don’t know.
Day 12 - Worship
I worship the Hellenistic deities and I used to be really drawn to Hades, but I currently feel the most drawn to Hermes and Dionysus.
Day 13 - Aesthetic
I don’t really feel like anything visually sums up my craft, but I like to use tarot cards and herbs a lot.
Day 14 - SigilCraft
Day 15 - Potion
I never made a potion and don’t really know how to, but it’s something I’m currently researching.
Day 16 - Spoonie Help
I don’t feel like I’m able to really help people with this as I’m quite new myself and it’s not something I’ve really researched. Though I’m sure you’ll be able to find some help if you look through the right tags.
Day 17 - Element
The element I feel the most drawn to is earth though I’m not sure why.
Day 18 - Wish
I’m not really sure what to do for this one.
Day 19 - Familiar
I don’t have a familiar and I don’t really have a dream familiar either.
Day 20 - Protection
My go-to method of warding is with sigils and jar spells.
Day 21 - By the number
My favourite number is 3 which represents creativity, communication, charisma, and a natural rhythm.
Day 22 - Curiosities
Something I recently discovered about the craft is that potions are actually a thing. This may sound stupid, but I always thought it was fake and just a thing used in media, but I was wrong.
Day 23 - Spirit
I would like to research spirit work at some point in the near future, but I’m trying not to research too many things at once because I will get confused.
Day 24 - Witchcrafting
I make all the sigils that I use in my craft.
Day 25 - Jinxed
I don’t see myself ever using curses/jinxes/hexes in my craft, but I’m not bothered by them.
Day 26 - Meditation state
When I meditate I like to burn some candles and lavender incense.
Day 27 - Enlightenment
The craft has made my life better because I’ve noticed I don’t get as angry or as jealous as I used to. It’s also helped me find small things interesting and beautiful were as I used to never give them a second thought.
Day 28 - Quote the witch
“You are magic. don’t ever apologise for the fire in you.” I’m not sure where it came from, but I found it on Pinterest.
Day 29 - Tricks or treats
I don’t really have a witchy tradition or know of any.
Day 30 - A promise
A goal I’ve set for myself is to practise with my tarot cards and pendulum every day for the next month to try to improve. I will know I’ve improved by finding it easier to interpret the readings.
Day 8 of the witchcraft challenge - Herbal Remedies
These are all the herbs I currently have. I got them from Occultophiliac on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/Occultophiliac
And Wings in the night https://wings-in-the-night.co.uk/
I have 2 bags of lavender, 2 bags of goldenrod, dill seeds, yarrow, meadowsweet, peppermint, st. John’s wort, chamomile, marigold, raspberry leaves, wormwood, and eucalyptus.
