#sam's fic

[humanperryfic]

BACK TO THE PERRYVERSE IS BACK!!!

all 13 previously published chapters of Back to the Perryverse have now been edited! it’s mostly for continuity and maturity (aka redoing stuff so i can keep going and avoid writing in 16/17-year-old me's voice) but it’s been a while so i recommend re-reading <3

also: chapter 14 is published. y'know. only 2 years after the last one!

[abeautifulblog]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

THE PLOT THICKENS.

And for all that this fic was supposed to be fluffy escapism in this time of turmoil, it went and grew a theme, and that theme is FUCK CAPITALISM.

[scifigrl47]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Bucky’s a jerk.

Just saying.

[humanperryfic]

Omg 'post-meapless in Seattle Peter/Perry t4t smut'??? Now that I now it exists I'm gonna spontaneously combust if I don't have it (NO PRESSURE!!! I just wanna say I love the concept)

Anon, it’s your lucky day.

🔞this is smut!! 🔞

Sleepless in Seattle

[humanperryfic]

*posts two fics in the span of a week to procrastinate on a math paper*

red in my ledger- A fic where Perry was raised in the Red Room…and then transferred to OWCA. (CW guns, partial mind control, and internalized transphobia)

Diversions, Diversions—A fake relationship turns real. (No content warnings.)

(And one that’s a couple weeks older, Drift- Non-sexual kink, that’s pretty much it)

[humanperryfic]

Angsty hc anon from earlier: I just had the most vivid scene in my head of reg!Perry and 2d!Doof facing off, and Perry pulls out his gun, and Doof is all 'you won't do it, I've seen this song and dance before' and then Perry shoots him in the shoulder and then readjusts his aim and Doof realizes he is not fucking around, not like his Perry.

OMG YES I LOVE THIS 

Drabble time! it’s not like I have 2 other WIPs to work on

TW firearms, blood

Stay here, Perry had signed to Phineas and Ferb. Hold things down here. 

Of course they hadn’t listened. They wanted to be in the thick of things, helping their uncle defend the Tri-State Area. 

And now here they are, both in danger. The other Doofenshmirtz leans over them, his unnaturally sharp teeth in a manic grin. 

Perry pushes himself up from where he fell just a moment ago, felled by a Norm-bot when the boys distracted him. 

Every muscle in his body protests, but he stands anyway. There’s no time to rest, his boys are in danger. 

He churrs, getting the attention of Doofenshmirtz. 

“I thought I got rid of you,” Doofenshmirtz grumbles, turning to face Perry. “But that doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can do for them anymore. You can’t do anything.”

Perry makes a few short calculations in his head, realizing with growing dread that Doofenshmirtz is right. The boys are held by too many Norm-bots. There’s too much distance between him and Doofenshmirtz for him to make a real attack. There’s nobody else to help him. There’s nothing he can do. 

And then he remembers. The very last resort, a nine-millimeter in a holster at his hip. 

He hates to even think about it, but there’s no other way. He pulls his pistol, thumbing the safety off and aiming at Heinz. 

Perry’s aim doesn’t falter, even as Phineas and Ferb stare. They’ve learned all sorts of things about their uncle today- he’s a secret agent, he’s kept copies of all their inventions, he’s got a secret base. This is just another thing they’ll demand answers for later. 

He expects Doofenshmirtz to back off, to pull his own gun, to do anything but cackle madly. Except he does, he doesn’t do anything but laugh like an absolute maniac. 

“You think you can do this?” Doofenshmirtz asks between gasping laughs. “You really think so?”

Perry narrows his eyes. The boys are in danger. Why wouldn’t he be able to?

“You won’t. I know you won’t- I’ve seen it all before. It’s the same old song and dance, Agent P. You can’t do it.”

He’s a crack shot. Accurate at over fifteen times this distance. There’s no question he can do this. Why would Doofenshmirtz think otherwise?

“Really, how do you think I got a Perryborg?”

Perry’s blood turns to ice as he realizes. The other dimension him was once in this very spot, facing this very dilemma. 

They’re the same person, that much is true. But there is a difference between them. 

One of them is willing to do anything to protect the people he loves. 

Perry pulls the trigger, wincing as the sound from the pistol temporarily deafens him. 

Doofenshmirtz raises his hand to his shoulder, and the grey glove comes away slicked with crimson blood. 

“You won’t.” Doofenshmirtz says, except this time he isn’t laughing. It seems more like a prayer- something that he’s repeating to reassure himself. “You won’t, I know you can’t do it.”

Perry adjusts his aim, slightly up and to the right. 

He’s not laughing either. 

Because he knows he can. 

And if it comes to it, he will.

[humanperryfic]

Back to the Perryverse

...whoops I started a sequel. Ah well, here we go!

Almost three years after the dimensional mishaps, everything seems to have gone back to normal.

But this is Danville, and things don't stay that way for long...

AO3/FF.Net

[humanperryfic]

Winter Wonderland

My Secret Santa gift for the wonderful @wyrmstory​!

Sometimes, Doofenshmirtz’s face blindness is annoying. Sometimes it’s a blessing.

Today, somehow, it manages to be both.

AO3