#sammy's random posts

[sammysammer]

Thanks for the pupils @izafetess 😭

(might delete later dndbdxh)

[la-princessaa]

The long procrastinated pictures of the fool. Apparently he has some of his lil leather bits coming off his feet, but nothing else I could see. He's just got a bunch of dog hair on him but I can do something about that with a lint roller. I figure I will likely wash him as that only seems polite, but here he is currently

[sammysammer]

Me when someone acknowledges the little details I add in my drawings

[la-princessaa]

Interest check in a Laito Sakamaki plush!

Howdy everyone. As followers know, and as I'm about to explain to u, tag, I don't do Diabolik Lovers anymore. At least not like that. Nowadays if I wanted a plush it would be a Kou. Oops.

Anyway, he just doesn't really spark joy anymore. I've been just tossing him around my room for the last 6 years. So, I figured I'd try to see if there's a home that actually wants him. It's his casual outfit from I believe MB? He is fairly well loved. I've snuggled with him often, but as far as I remember no stains. He has lost his hat, unfortunately. I can and will clean him up before anything if I can figure out how. He was in a house with dogs and a cat, non-smoking, just an old house. I would really only want to ship within the States, and I would probably be asking $70 +shipping. Maybe lower, I really don't know. Just since he's well-loved and the others are going for $150+.

Anyways! Like this post if interested, I guess? I'll take and attach some pictures to this post here soon or make a new post. I will probably go through a legitimate channel such as eBay or something just because I've never done this before.

[la-princessaa]

Not to be negative Nancy out here on this absolutely gorgeous Tuesday morning, but, I am tired. And it may just be that I'm a big baby (entirely an option) but man. See, I never used to mind it (until I started processing some things, then it got sketch and dice), or, rather, I suppose it just didn't affect me as much. I didn't like it, I wished it wouldn't happen because that's fucking weird, but it didn't cause the distress it does now. The rise of porn bots, onlyfans, and just the general increase of sexualized imagery targeted at, well, anyone who uses the internet. Very specifically in spaces that are not for it.

Twitter pushes porn posts if you've made a new account and haven't followed anyone. Tumblr still has that tagging problem with the bots. And I can't even really block anything anywhere because it's become custom to try and make sure people see it and do whatever with it. I've seen and heard of people with onlyfans messaging people on forums for people with porn addictions that are trying to quit so they stop ruining their lives and relationships. That's mega fucked. I'm all for people doing what they want in the spaces for it. This isn't about that at all. This is about it being pushed, and thrown into, honestly, my face, when I'm just trying to look at my hobbies on Tumblr because I cannot go on any other site without being triggered.

I haven't fully learned to cope with my disorder, which is something I'm working on. Seeing an image of a woman that I feel I need to look like to be loved and desired will set me back weeks. Porn is fantastic for this. It's terrible that it's everywhere. Yeah, some of this is on me, but again, in spaces that are not for advertising or showing off pornography, is where I go. I don't go into a pornographic tag and go "oh there's porn here and now I can't function". I go into the b/jd tag to look at dolls because I love dolls, and then I see porn bots and now I can't function. And it is exhausting. And I can't even block the tags or anything because they are random. Just to make sure it's seen. Tumblr is the only social media I've limited myself to because of this but it still happens. It just sucks.

[la-princessaa]

Also I got my nose pierced 💃

[la-princessaa]

On the bright side, however, I have discovered new forms of self care. Apparently, fashion is a big one for me. Poetry has been fun, reading and writing it. Exercise. Music. So on and so forth. I'd like to start meditating again.

And forgiving myself and acknowledging that where I am in life is brand new. I've never been this independent before, and it's scary. I look and ask for permission and I get told, "do whatever you want, you're an adult now", after having things done for me my whole life, or turned down based on someone else's whim. After being a dependent child my whole life, more so than what is usual, now I'm an adult. It's an adjustment period I wasn't ready for. I can leave the house whenever, if I want. I don't have to ask. I can tell. I can tell my parents "I'm going out", and that's the end of it. It's weird. I don't understand.

[la-princessaa]

nobody is allowed to judge me for the upcoming posts of kuroshitsuji