E-blast #50
Apparently is not only Justin Timberlake who's bringing sexy back...
It's also Xander, Leigh, Grace--just to mention a few.
Dear Olympians, I have to admit it... I couldn't be any more proud of you. You've all been so dumb and reckless and stupid lately. I'm loving every single minute of it.
As of lately, I've noticed an increased of the sex noises echoing through all the house teams' walls and also a relevant number of hangovers, walks of shame and "Oh God, I fucked it up last night" facial expressions. And because I always like to share my knowledge about your lives with the rest of the student body, here's what you've missed about some of your favorite students' sex lives:
Maxine Yeager was absent for so long that she forgot where her boyfriend's room was so she got lost and ended up in Xander Carson's bed. It's a clear case of disorientation. Poor Max. I hope Sam buys her a map real soon.
Who also found her way into Xander's bed was no other than Olympus' newest slut, Grace Jones. But the sex must have been so good that she ended up crawling into Xander's bed twice!
And if Grace didn't have enough with Xander, she then got all cozy with her now ex-half brother Tommy Bryan. I hope making out with Tommy was worth the black eye that Jenny gave you, Martha.
But Mr. Xander Carson was not satisfied with Grace. Of course not. He also got under the sheets with Leigh and Frankie. Not together though. Xander must be good, but apparently not good enough for a threesome.
Jesse Caldwell also got some action! Apparently I was wrong about no one giving him the time of the day because Leigh gave him the time of the day, plus the best sex of his life.
And speaking of Leigh and best sex of one's life, you'd never believe who was a virgin at 19. It was Austin Sinclair, the shy guitar player. But apparently he's not so shy anymore because yes, he slept with Leigh. Aw, don't you feel happy now that there's one less virgin in the world? I know I do.
Now leaving virgins aside for a minute, let's talk about most experienced students like Avery Shields and Ryder Turow. These two love--or hate--birds must be so sexually compatible that they fucked twice! Wow. I bet the sex must be fantastic. That only explains why Avery is sleeping with the enemy.
And finally, but definitely not less important, is--drum roll, please-- Emy Pottermore and Matthew Craig! Yes! You read it right! Matt finally came out of the closet and didn't think twice before jumping into bed with Emy after he mysteriously came back. Poor Alyssa. If she wasn't such a bitch, I'd actually feel sorry for her. It must suck to see you've turned someone gay.
And that's all the inside scoop on everybody's sex lives. I know it's a lot to take in but it's not my fault that you're all so horny.
Kisses & Hugs, I wish you all to be bitten by bugs ♥