Been browsing through the “humans are weird/space-orcs/space-Australians” tag as per the usual, when I realized something. Out of all the references to us, our planet, and even the animals on it, there’s pretty little stuff about other intelligent animals besides us.
Think about it. Aside from humans, Earth has: non-human great apes, elephants, dolphins, corvids, parrots, and octopuses. Lumping together humans and their close relatives, that’s still six whole clades a sapient earthling could come from. Take this to its logical conclusion and suddenly you have a planet that, in addition to it already being a deathworld, is also so ripe for intelligence that it produced it six times at once. Imagine an alien trying to wrap its cephalon around that.
“I can certainly see the resemblance,” mused Rk’sksr at the sight of the large creatures his friend Angeline and a convenient informational-sign had called ‘gorillas.’ He had worked with Bonobos before and after mentions of theirs and the Humans’ of other ‘great apes,’ he had seen fit to have Angeline take him to a zoo to go see some.
“Yeah, they’re pretty smart. It’s a shame we can’t uplift them, thanks to that crackpot a few centuries ago,” came his friend’s reply.
“So I assume this is it for our little excursion?”
“What? Hell no, I paid a lot for this trip and I’m getting the money’s worth out of this. Besides, we’re not done with this tour.”
“But I thought this was all there was, aside from the other chimpanzee species.”
“Nope. I’m not an expert on this but I’m pretty sure we’ve got about a half-dozen more species than this.”
“And all of them are ‘great apes?’”
After going past a few more exhibits -Rk’sksr counted less than a half-dozen to his confusion-, he asked Angeline if they had seen all the intelligent species the zoo had to offer.
An incredulous Angeline could only reply with “You’re asking that, despite having worked with Greys too?”
“But I thought they were a simple side-experiment when they were created.”
“Welp, looks like I’ve got things to show you.”
Angeline proceeded to take Rk’sksr past an impressive array of birds that caught even his own four eyes, until they reached a singularly unattractive one of pure white, a sort of pale contrast to an average Grey.
“So what is it supposed to be?”
“It’s another parrot species,“ came the obvious reply.
“I can tell that from the sign, but why did you show me this one of all the other bird species?“
“Parrots in general are smart, and this was the only species they had here. Some Greys started making a fuss about the uncanny valley or something.“
“Wait, I can understand the diversity with your ‘great apes,’ ancestors, I even knew an uplifted analogue to them. But to claim that sort of diversity among sapient-producing groups is sort of absurd, isn’t it?“
“Uhh... I think you might wanna strap in, ‘cause this might be a bit of a culture shock for you.“
What came next was a journey across the zoo through a veritable menagerie of creatures with the marks intelligence. Enormous lumbering beasts busy with a paintbrush, sleek aquatic creatures performing complex tricks, even some vagrant wild animals devising clever means of stealing a child’s meal. It was utterly baffling to see such diversity of minds; only the Heralds of the Old Ones came from a planet with more diversity, and even they had bolstered their count with supreme genetic engineering. It was just something that didn’t happen!
An exasperated Rk’sksr finally stopped Angeline halfway through their trek inside the aquarium.
“Please just stop Angeline, this absurdity needs to be laid to rest! There simply cannot be anymore species like this! “
“Wait, now before you actually start whining over me, I’m telling you now that we have one last thing to look at, and it’s right around the corner.”
With an exaggerated hiss from Rk’sksr the two of them approached the final tank, one surrounded by a gaggle of Human children and a lone Grey. In the tank was a variety of colorful rock formations, aquatic photosynthesizers, and a plethora of assorted... toys?
The singular question running through Rk’sksr’s head was ‘What sort of aquatic organism would need toys in its enclosure?’
Not a moment later, a bright red, eight-limbed creature slinked its way out from under a crevice and shuffled towards the glass. The delight in the children’s eyes was obvious, and the creature seemed to know it. It busied itself sliding through the toys set out for it, before a hand from above seemed to drop a jar filled with a lone shrimp inside. As a sort of final act to its show, the creature went about skillfully twisting open the jar and retrieving the morsel of food. Many of the younger ones were clapping, and after reading the sign, Rk’sksr realized that this ‘octopus’ was most definitely the one he would have picked to have made a sapient. They certainly would have had the luck to live on a respectable planet, with only one smart clade.
To this day Rk’sksr still has no ancestors-damned idea how anyone thought it would be a good idea to let one planet have some many intelligent organisms. Especially after a crow stole one of his snack bars and dumped the rest in a koi pond.