#satoru brainrot

[just-jordie-things]

Now Jordie, hold up. HOLD. UP.

You can't just write "he witnessed the boy's attempts at wooing you. and let's just say he wasn't impressed. megumi was a wreck at worst and a mess at best." and not expect me to call Gojo out on his bullshit.

We all know that man wouldn't be slick. He's pretty and he THINKS he has a lot of rizz (which is true when it comes to women he doesn't particularly care for much), but unfortunately, he's also a huge mess when it comes to the one woman he actually has some form of romantic feelings for.

Consider this, he's out with the trio and there's a random woman who is really gorgeous and yuji somehow ends up betting that gojo couldn't rizz her up. Of course gojo defends his pride, walks up to the random woman and EASILY rizzes her up. It barely takes him a minute to get her number, which obviously leaves Yuji more than impressed. Megumi just rolls his eyes cause he knows how easy Gojo's game is when he doesn't like someone. (He witnessed the trials and errors of Gojo's flirting before).

Cue a few weeks later, Yaga's niece returns to Tokyo after years of studying abroad, now she joins in Jujutsu High as new teacher and Gojo is immediately smitten. He can barely take his eyes of you, he's convinced he never saw a prettier woman, but not only that!! When you open your mouth and talk to him he's hearing heaven's bells. There's no woman with a sweeter voice than you, he'll bet his entire fortune on it, and hot damn, you know your stuff. You're so smart and knowledgable, you#re such a skilled fighter too, he's so surprised because MY GOD YOU CANT JUST BE SO PERFECT??

Well, there's one issue... him. He can't talk to you. He tries, and tries, and tries, but he always messes up. Never being able to string together a full or coherent sentence and it's getting embarrassing. In front of the students he's avoiding you. (He doesn't want them to see him failing miserably) So naturally his students think that Gojo just doesn't like you for some reason. They can't believe it, you're so sweet and Nobara instantly thought that you two would be great together because you just seemed to fit so well. (and she saw you not taking any shit from the third years, you're tough and would be the perfect match for their teacher)

The three come up with the plan to get you to interact "spontaneously", in terms of Yuji and Megumi talking to Gojo while you're just randomly walking along with Nobara and they're basically playing Parent Trap, which Megumi only begrudginly indulges.

And that's when it happens. That's when the three finally realise why Gojo avoids you in front of them as if you had the black plague, because he blushes and get's flustered and rambles and stumbles over his words and when he wants to ask for your number he stupidly says "can you give me a number" instead of anything remotely sweet. Yuji is shocked, Nobara rolls her eyes and Megumi just facepalms because he knows that the more Gojo likes someone the worse his attempts at flirting are, and the way he messes up now means you have his heart in a choke hold, you just don't know it yet.

........

Okay this was supposed to be short and cute... idk what happened there

OMMGGG STEF THIS IS GOLDEN THIS DESERVES A MULTI PART FIC NOT JUST AN ASK IN MY INBOX AAAAAHHH

you hearing about gojo and his rizz and lowkey expecting the worst. but you meet him and he's almost kinda... pathetic? like who is this man?? what happened to the smooth talking bastard your uncle warned you about?

are you really expected to believe that this man who's blushing and rambling on about the most random bullshit is the guy you were warned would probably hit on you? wait, is this his way of hitting on you?

oh my god, you have to mess with him by being the smooth talking flirt !!!

also, megumi deserves to watch gojo struggle and suffer in front of the woman he's been crushing on like a child.

[just-jordie-things]

hear me out… more teenage satoru gojo 👀

him being annoyingly loving, look i’m desperate for more teen satoru okay-

ooh him playing around with either hexing eye or fate’s handler hehe

-grade 1 sorcerer anon

ok ok ok but in the tbah universe i've always imagined that after the series concludes, gojo still helps (y/n) with her training, bc she has so much potential!!!! she just put it on hold during her final year at jujutsu tech cause... well a lot happened ok go read the series if u haven't it's like 80k words of me putting her thru it <3

but i really liked the idea of like a lil game of teleport tag between the two <3 it's very cinematic in my head. it's sunset and they're warping all around tokyo, chasing each other like kids and being absolute menaces. satoru's adamant on catching her, but he's also delighted in seeing her use her technique so freely and without fatigue. (y/n's) a complete tease, letting him catch up just to disappear before he can reach her, or just before he's about to wrap his arms around her.

tbah gojo and (y/n) have a very special place in my heart !!!!!!

[just-jordie-things]

as usual @delzinrowe has my brain rotting at an exceptional rate

so let's talk about gojo and how he cannot drive

for the record, if gojo satoru wanted to drive, he could pick it up at anytime. he's gojo satoru after all, there's nothing he can't do, he's a god among humans.

but a god doesn't really need to learn how to drive.

as a youngster he always had people there to do that for him. at the mere snap of his fingers he had a ride to the candy shop. he likes to think he wasn't that much of a brat... but if his sweet tooth was particularly achey that day he might've gotten a bit of an attitude.

and as an adult, driving just wasn't a skill he deemed worthy of picking up. he could teleport anywhere he pleased without breaking a sweat. why waste his time with traffic and a stuffy car? besides, he loved to show off, and teleportation was just one of his many tricks.

so if you asked him, gojo satoru would tell you that he didn't need to learn to drive, he had much faster ways to get around.

that was, until (y/n) was giving him her address and the time of evening at which would be the best time to pick her up for their date, and satoru finds himself so blinded in his moment of gooey infatuation, that he agrees to her terms without thinking twice. it's not until she's walked back towards her classroom that his best friend and fellow colleague spawns next to him and points out his fatal flaw.

"and how exactly do you plan to pick her up, romeo?" geto suguru half purrs half sneers out the little comment, and it's obvious that gojo freezes up in that moment.

"suguru, can i borrow your c-"

"absolutely not"

and that's how he finds himself in this position. staring at the brand new sleek black car in his driveway with his hands on his hips and the shiny new keys to match clutched in his hand. he's been staring it down for a good ten minutes now, much to his kids' annoyance and impatience.

"well are you gonna drive it or not?" the spiky haired boy next to him huffs.

"don't rush me, brat" gojo huffs back with the same level of childish frustration.

"i'm sure you'll do fine," the boy's sweetheart of a sister counterpart chirps up. "you have a license, don't you? it'll be like riding a bicycle"

gojo's face twists into a sour wince, and now megumi and tsumiki are both staring up at him with wide apprehensive eyes.

"you don't have a license?" megumi barks out before his guardian could dish out some half-assed lie. "isn't it illegal to drive without-!?"

a large hand is slapped over the boy's mouth before he could finish berating the man, and gojo's baring his teeth in that grin that the kids know means he's up to bullshit.

"nonsense!" the white haired sorcerer practically cheers. "of course i have a license! i'm a phenomenal driver. i'm a phenomenal everything,"

megumi and tsumiki share a side eye that suggests they believe otherwise. gojo rolls his eyes and finally struts over to the driver's side door. those kids always believed the worst in him.

without another word, he plops in, sticks the key in the ignition, and tries not to startle as the car purrs to life and all the lights come flickering on.

he realizes in this moment that he's never even sat in the driver's seat of a real car.

but he's driven go karts with suguru and shoko many times, in high school- and even just last week when he begged them to.

the car groans at him when he tries to force a shift into reverse. it groans again when his foot taps the gas before settling on the break, and finally he' can move the's putting the car in reverse.

with a grin he glances out the window where the fushiguro siblings are still standing at the edge of the lawn, watching the whole ordeal with silent concern. he gives them a thumbs up before tapping the gas again.

his head is jerked forward as the car speeds backwards faster than expected, the needle on the speedometer flying towards the 10 before shooting back down when he slams on the left pedal again. it screeches to a halt before it could even enter the road, surely leaving a short streak of black on the otherwise clean driveway.

gojo winces, and dares a peek out the window. he's not surprised to find his kids with their hands clamped over their mouths. he gives them another, more sheepish, thumbs up.

well, maybe this was a bad idea, he starts to wonder as he checks the street behind him. there was little to no traffic right now, which made for the perfect time for a driver with only five minutes of a youtube tutorial for knowledge on the rules of the road to enter the roadway. and besides, nothing was going to keep him from going on this date.

so he puts the car in park before rolling down the window and leaning out to holler at the kids.

"keep the door locked and call uncle suguru if there's an emergency!"

"okay! have fun!" tsumiki's ever so present optimism is in full bloom as she smiles and waves at her guardian.

"he's not our uncle" megumi mutters with a roll of his eyes.

they stand on the lawn and watch as gojo slowly backs out of the driveway, hitting the brake every two seconds and jolting the car the whole way out. he's crooked in the street, and it takes him a second longer than the average driver to put it in drive and get going. even then, the kids stand and watch a few minutes longer as gojo intermittently taps the brake and gas, rolling forward only a few feet a minute.

"do you think he's gonna get arrested?" tsumiki asks her brother once he's turned off their street, still on his tap and go method.

"who knows," megumi replies. "but he's definitely losing the car"

"yeah, definitely"

by the time gojo actually pulls up to (y/n's) address- the car crooked in your empty driveway, he's certain that he's mastered driving with the past ten minutes of experience, and surely she'll be impressed.

obviously, he misses the way she tilts her head at his parking job, but she quickly shakes it off as she joins him in the car, too eager for their first proper date to question the angle of his car in her driveway.

he has to gush over how pretty she'd done herself up for the night for a good five minutes before they get moving, and that's when his true colors begin to shine.

forgetting that he wasn't properly pulled into the drive, he backs over the curb after a rush of gassing and braking in reverse. (y/n) may have delayed in buckling her seatbelt, but she's just as soon scrambling to grab the belt and snap it into place, clutching onto it as discreetly as possible.

when he sends a proud grin her way, she can't help but force a gentle smile back at him. he might still be tapping the brake an unnecessary amount of times as he cruises down the road, but she doesn't have it in her to question his ability- or lack thereof.

however, at the end of the night when he drops her off and they solidify their plans for a second date, she insists that she picks him up next time <3

___

a/n: he's literally just a girl !!! xoxo ~ jordie

[just-jordie-things]

hello hello!!!!! hope ur having a good day <33

I wanted tk know if i could ask some hcs about jjk charcters (preferably inumaki and yuuta but any you want/feel like will do too!!) with a dancer s/o?? or someone who just really likes dancing and dances often. Perhaps asks them to dance with them??

Feel free to ignore it if it's not to your taste!! tyvm 🥰🥰

this is so cute but also i'm not a dancer so bear with me for some of this ok? :) dance related brainrots comin right up!!!

gojo satoru hates slow dancing. he's got nothing against bopping around to a song that's been stuck in the head, or when the rest of the club is feeling it... but ballroom dancing? slow dancing? no way. for one, it's so cheesy he could die of embarrassment. for two- he doesn't have the time to slow down that much. but for some reason, when you're playing that pretty slow song you like while doing the dishes, you catch him passing by and holding out your hand, his feet are carrying him over to you without question. but you're smiling as you wrap your other hand around his neck and pull him close. his hand finds purchase on your hip just as naturally as he'd walked over to you, and before he knows it, you're slowly rocking around in a lazy circles in your kitchen. it's all against his will, of course. it's some spell you've put on him that brings him to pull you closer and spin you like you're his princess- which you are- and cradle your head lovingly against his chest. ___

okkotsu yuuta has never tried his hand at dancing before. but then he finds you one day in one of the training rooms and you're not wearing your usual workout attire, no, today you'd decided on a slimming black leotard and pale pink tights and as his eyes travel and see a pair of ballet flats on your feet he can't help but laugh a bit. you? ruthless, nunchuck weilding, you, do ballet? you scoff at his laughter, and tell him that it actually helps to keep you limber, and balanced- all in all a better sorcerer. after some back and forth on other methods to keep you flexible, you decide to put him to the test. as it turns out, yuuta can't back down from a dare, and just like that you're guiding him through the different positions. it doesn't take long for him to realize that ballet while elegant is not easy. you work him hard for the next few hours, but at least he gets to dance with you up close and personal while you teach him ballet. and hey, maybe he'll stick with the method. ___

inumaki toge loved watching you dance. you danced all the time, and everywhere. you're doing chores? you've got headphones on and you're bopping all over the place. cooking? you're shaking our hips and mixing up a delicious smelling pot with an extra flair to your stirring. he's watched you dance around while pushing a cart at the supermarket. he assumes there must always be a beat stuck in that pretty head of yours, something to make you want to boogie. it's cute! but it's even cuter when you make him dance with you. sometimes you ask him, giving him your best puppy dog eyes and beckoning him over with your swinging hips. but even better is when you just grab him and make him join you. by his hand, by his belt loop, by the back of his neck, sometimes you just don't have the patience to wait for an answer, you need a dance partner now! no biggie, toge's never turned down a chance to swing you around in his arm or twirl and dip you dramatically... even if you are dancing to oldies in the laundromat. ___

kamo choso had never really danced before... at all. so when you find yourselves at a small event with other sorcerers, and people start to fill the open space to dance to the soft live music, you seize an oppurtunity. you can tell he's uncertain and a bit lost when he's watching people couple up to dance together, so you take his drink out of his hand, placing it aside with yours, before you take his hand again. "choso, do you want to dance?" it's so sweet he wouldn't dare refuse your offer- not when the idea of holding you close and having you hold him too makes his heart stutter in his chest. you're already starting to pull him with you to the outskirts of the makeshift dance floor when he mumbles "i don't- i've never really done this before" and you have to bite your cheek to stifle your laughter at the innocent statement. you don't have to say the words i'll show you how, he gets the gist when you place his hands at your hips. you're not doing much, just swaying side to side, moving in slow circles, and you both stay pretty far from the other dancers... but he loves it. he loves everything about it, from holding you, and getting to see how much you light up from the simple action. he hopes this event goes late into the evening, so he has every excuse to keep doing this with you.

[just-jordie-things]

Okayayaokala I’ve been thinking about like what lipgloss flavour the jjk men would appeal to or like the one they think tastes best.

Now, I’m not good at this brain rot kind of stuff BUTTTTT

Satoru: cotton candy (something sweet def, strawberry short cake?) ((you know those like candy flavoured lipglossses?)

Suguru: more simple but still tastes good (peppermint, vanilla?, honey?)

Toji: cherry (?) something strong though so like it’s like lasting

Megumi: some sort of mixed berry maybe even chocolate but not tooo chocolately yk? Like soft chocolate (if that’s a thing)

Nanami: SIMPLEEE (I think) honey and vanilla maybe peppermint? Oh but then maybe he’d be like “whichever one is ur favourite then it’s mine aswell”

I HAVE MORE BUT THIS IS ALL IVE GOT FOR NOW💜💜

WAIT I LOVE THESE AND THEYRE PERFECT YES

one step further is how quickly they're ruining it after a fresh coat.

gojo's got his eyes on your lips as soon as you pull the wand away and smack them together, checking your work in your little mirror before packing it and your lipgloss back into your purse. he's kissing you silly to get a taste of that sugary sweet flavor on your soft lips as soon as you've perfected it. you'll have to start doing it in private in a bathroom or something if you ever want to keep the pretty gloss intact.

suguru is sneakier than his white haired counterpart. he's obviously noticed as soon as you've applied a fresh coat, but he's pretending he hadn't. he'll have his eyes on your lips for the rest of the day/evening. incredibly focused when you're speaking, barely paying any mind to what comes out of his own mouth. best believe as soon as you're in private he's getting a taste of the minty gloss for himself.

don't bother with toji. he gives you the satisfaction of putting on your classic cherry gloss, but before you can even tuck the tube back into your pocket he's smearing it across both of your faces in a kiss so needy that if you're in public? you might be applauded, you might be booed, let's be honest.

megumi howeverhas more manners than his father! well, more accurately, he has more anxiety which keeps his impulses under control sort of. you applied your favorite gloss a few moments ago, and he's trying to be normal about it, he really is. he doesn't want to ruin how pretty it looks on your lips, does he? that wouldn't be fair. he probably makes it a good fifteen minutes before he can't take it anymore and he's pulling you into a gentle kiss. he tries his best not to smear the chocolatey truffle goodness, but he can't help but want a little taste.

kento is the most gentlemanly about it. he'll let you wear and reapply that pretty gloss of yours however many times you need and he won't try to do anything to ruin the look you'd done up for the evening. but once you're alone? he's stealing a sweet kiss to get a hint of a taste of your sweet sticky lips. "you know how much i love this taste on you, my dear" my heart

[just-jordie-things]

I get the best brainrot from personal experience. Therefore: Them taking care of you when you’re sick.

(And when I say sick I dont mean the cute little sniffle-stuffed nose-kind of sick. I mean: Fever delirium, extreme coughing, headaches that are so painful you wanna badh your head against the wall and extremely unattractive throwing up everything you had inside you)

Starting with Gojo: he’s be kinda worried. I love that thought that the only thing that’d ever worry the strongest sorcerer is when you get sick like that. Because he doesn’t know what to do. He’d stay by your side at all times. Even if you tell him not to cause he’ll get sick too. Nah, he orders ijichi to bring an entire pharmacy while he takes care of you at home.

Megumi: in terms of taking care, He’d be just like Gojo but he’d worry a lot less since he knows that sickness will pass. He’s still devoted to stay by your side, holding you when you sleep. Although you tell him you feel disgusting, all sweat-through from the fever, THAT BOY AINT LEAVING YOU

Yuji: would panic. A lot. Of course he knows sickness passes, he’s not an idiot. But still. You look like you’re on the verge of death (what a charming thing to say to you), but he panics. He’d cook for you, and even if you couldn’t eat or if you throw it up, he wouldn’t be mad. He’d get you all the meds you need and makes sure you take them on time.

Choso: Definition of Panic. If you thought Gojo or Yuji panicked a lot, wait for him. As a cursed womb he doesn’t get sick, so he’s losing his mind when you suddenly get a fever and throw up. Poor boy has no fucking idea what’s wrong with you and he’s panicking HARD. But after the initial shock (and while you rest) he’d read through thousands of articles about human sickness, colds, viruses, etc. and he’s preparing every single home remedy for you. He’d try so hard, it’s the absolute cutest:((

Ino, that little shit wouldn’t take it seriously at first. Let’s say you’re cancelling adate cause you feel sick and he’d just be overdramatic “just tell me you dont wanna see me, break my heart, baby”. So he makes a plan to visit you and have a date at home but when you open the door, looking half dead, he immediately takes it seriously and tells you to lay down. For someone who looks as carefree as Ino, he sure does care a lot and it’s cute.

Nanami: please, he’s THE PERFECT MAN. He wouldn’t panic. He knows sickness passes, especially when he takes care of you. He doesn’t need to get anything cause he has a little home pharmacy with everything you could possibly need. He makes you tea with honey and lemon, and even before you feel nauseous he’d put a bucket next time the bed, just because he thinks you might need it. He’d the definition of prepared and it just makes you fall in love even harder

For Yuuta I have to say I wouldn’t know exactly since I cant feel his personality as well as the others. But he strikes me as a mix between megumi and yuji, panicking but also knowing that sickness will pass if he takes care of you

Hope you liked these. (I puked my guts out and I am sweat through now but I feel better i think the sickness is 80% over)

~ Nanami Flowershop Anon

god i feel like yuuta would looove taking care of you. i think he's got some possessiveness issues going on and would enjoy having you rely on him teehehe

i always love ur brainrots i'm sorry it's been so long since i've gone thru my inbox, i've been starving the people of your genius!!

[just-jordie-things]

ALSO. ADDITION TO THE SICK BRAINROT:

Megumi is totally the type of guy who’d feed your cats and clean their litter boy for you when you’re too sick to do it.

Yuji as well, but he would take it up a notch and even play with them cause COME ON LOOK AT HIM HE IS ADORABLE. And your cats love him

Choso would probably have a hard time at first. He’d overfeed them and wouldn’t really know how to clean the litter box. But he tries. SO HARD AND THATS SO CUTE. Eventually he manages to do it properly and you’re proud of him (WHO WOULDNT BE)

Ino: you dont even have to ask him. He already occasionally does it for you when you’re sleeping cause he doesn’t wanna wake you up. So sometimes he just turns off your alarm on the weekend and lets you sleep while taking care of the cats. He’s so bf material, he learn from the best cause Nanami is the same.

Gojo? He wouldn’t do that. He wont get out of bed at all. He keeps holding you tightly. But he might slip a hundred dollar bill to ijichi for taking care of your cats.

~ Nanami Flowershop Anon

lmfao gojo's- yes perfectly on the nose all of them as usual

ino learning from nanami??? love ofc always it's always perfect and it's CANON actually uh huh

i love your ongoing cat theme it's so adorable.

[just-jordie-things]

You know those myths that when someone thinks of you you feel it? Or when someone talks bad about you you get irritated or sneeze?

We’ve seen that in jjk a few times. But imagine if people actually cared for this

Let’s just think of spending tome with gojo and oht of nowhere you sneeze and he’s on high alert, thinking someone talked shit about you.

Pls that’d be so fucking cute

I love that type of gojo

~ Nanami Flowershop Anon

LMFAOOO so on brand for him he’s spending the rest of his day side eyeing everyone and not so casually bringing you up (which he does anyways) to make so everyone only has good things to say