#scienceofsurvival

[unaccompaniedescapist]

@scientificallystarving 

@scienceofsurvival

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chell: why aren’t we waking the daddy? why must the daddy not be woken?

wilson: well, in the fiction of the game, he’ll see us and get us in trouble for being up past bedtime.

chell: so he’s an authority figure? he will punish us if we aren’t following his rules.

wilson: uh… yes. but it’s all fiction—

chell: *unbends a paperclip and pokes the daddy* I stab the daddy, fictionally.

[unaccompaniedescapist]

who are the top three people you would like to hug?

3. Dorothy Rattmann ( @therattsden ) 

Saving Chell’s life is a great way to make her hug you and never let go of you ever again. I hope Dorothy likes strong arms and being clung to for all eternity! Because that’s what’s happening. 

2. Wilson P. Higgsbury ( @scienceofsurvival and @scientificallystarving ) 

Cute man who is definitely not a scientist! At all. 

…Also *cough cough* he’s the only other person on this godforsaken island *cough cough* so. Uh. 

(I tagged both of my Wilsons because including DSRP in this ask just wouldn’t be fair)  

And the number one spot goes to… *drumroll…* 

1. Gordon Freeman ( @rxguephysicist​ ) 

Gordon is a tiny delicate marshmallow. He will be hugged and cuddled into submission whether he wants it or not. When he’s good, his reward is hugs. When he’s bad (AKA risking his life again), his punishment is more hugs. 

(barney would be on this list but I didn’t want to tag the same mun twice) 

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★ (her and wilson~?)

((DSRP TIME!!!)) 

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you / I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me / You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you* / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else

*they’re literally married, does it still count as a crush????? 

[unaccompaniedescapist]

The house symbol: Wilson

((OH IM SO DOING A TIMELINE WITH THIS. OKAY THE FOLLOWING LYRICS ARE ALL IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER…. YOU KNOW WHEN)) 

You stumbled in and bumped your head If not for me, then you’d be dead I picked you up Put you back on solid ground! 

        - “Kryptonite,” 3 Doors Down 

________________ 

Don’t get caught on my edges I’m the king of everything and, oh, My tongue is a weapon. There’s a light in the crack that’s separating your thighs And if you wanna go to heaven, You should fuck me tonight 

        - “Young God,” Halsey 

________________ 

My teeth may be sharp And I’ve been raised to kill But the thought of fresh meat, It is making me ill So I’m telling you That you’ll be safe with me… 

        - “I Know I’m a Wolf,” Young Heretics 

________________ 

((bonus one from Wilson to Chell)) 

I was falling back on forever When you told me about your heart, You laid it on the line It was a matter of time. 

        - “Matter of Time,” the Killers 

[unaccompaniedescapist]

The shipping meme but with Wilson

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship 

these aren’t going to make any sense to anybody but us ok i love this ship kill me fu c k 

(for those unfamiliar: chell is grayro in this au) 

1. Wilson had a bunch of parenthood nightmares before their daughter was born and Chell berated him over worrying so much…only to start having parenthood nightmares after their daughter was born. 

2. Wilson would love to join everyone in purring but he can’t get his tongue to do the thing properly. 

3. Neck-kisses/nipping is a very important trust exercise for both of them because reasons……..that shall not be spoken of………. 

4. Since she considers identical/near-identical multiverse copies to be the same people as each other, Chell is in love with all the Wilsons she meets who are the same as her own. Wilson, however, is only in love with his Chell no matter how identical her alternates get. 

[unaccompaniedescapist]

Pretend I'm Wilson. ❤ ✿ ♡ ¿ ✎

((THNX UR COOL UR THE BEST I LOVE YOU DARLING)) 

[unaccompaniedescapist]

SHIP + CHELL/WILSON

Headcanon: Chell %100 actually truly does find Wilson to be gorgeous; she’ll make fun of his hair, yeah, but it’s so pretty.