“ i won’t say sorry because that just, falls flat. but if i could change it. i would. ”
@firstxman
It was statements like these that Colleen was reminded of how much alone she and Scott were. He struggled to apologize properly and Colleen was the same — always putting something between herself and the problem at hand. Like a box of pizza. Or some other kind of peace offering that would help elevate tensions. But sorry was… a strained word. Something that when she did use it, felt… overused. Like a bandaid of a word that was meant to smooth things over but it wasn’t the magical word of healing that people hoped it was.
“I wouldn’t.” Colleen offered him a weak smile as she shrugged a shoulder. “I guess it would be nice. To have things differently. To know the answers before every mistake we made.” Together and apart. She knew that Scott was haunted by past choices, by a childhood that wasn’t a childhood. And Colleen? She closed her eyes and could fall into a nightmare if she shifted her breathing just right. For all the training they went through to be stronger, how much of their humanity had been broken in the process? “What are you wanting to change this time?”