In the beginning
Dearest me, It's been a while since we spoke. Seems to me like you're confused about a lot right now, and I wish I could reassure you that things will become crystal clear in time. I can't. All you can do at the moment, is keep your head down, your eyes up, and move towards what feels right. Don't worry about the people who try to pull you to their level. They think by pulling you down, it will pull them up. Little do they realise, that it just makes them heavier themselves. Pay no attention. They can't do anything that's worse than what you do to yourself. Speaking of which, why not cut yourself some slack? There's no harm in that. People are complicated, you always knew that, and there's nothing wrong with that either. The simple ones aren't worth knowing anyway. Things will be easier soon anyway. You have people that love you, regardless of your choices, they will be there whether you think they are or not. Use what they offer you, take the support when it is offered. Being strong is not always the best way to be, being flexible and vulnerable and being able to accept love is important. I'm proud of you, All my love x