𓆃 Tobirama is from an era where marriages weren’t done out of love—they were performed for social and political purposes. And so, you can expect behavior from him that tends to allign with tradition. But Tobirama isn’t entirely closed-minded and is generally open to formulating a unique dynamic.
𓆃 Tobirama treats a union as a formality, and while he doesn’t go out of his way to be cruel, he doesn’t see much of a point to being overly friendly.
𓆃 He is—and has always been— a soldier, and Tobirama doesn’t see much of a point in what he perceives as playing politics. Marriage is just another job, another mission.
𓆃 And so, it almost doesn’t matter if your relationship is arranged or not. Tobirama might as well treat both dynamics mostly the same.
𓆃 He’ll take on the role he’s been taught to play—that of partner, protector, and father if that is what your arrangement dictates. And perhaps that feels stuffy to someone looking for more from him.
𓆃 Tobirama gives a bit more leaway when it comes to a chosen arrangement, as his stuffiness can be interpreted as endearing and then redirected from then on.
𓆃 Because for being tradition minded—most people of the era are—Tobirama is by no means cruel to a partner and adapts quickly when he’s willing.
𓆃 Chosen or arranged, Tobirama is a dedicated partner who mainly expresses himself through acts of service.
𓆃 While getting him to spend an amount of quality time with you seems like a chore and while he’s not good with his words in the slightest, he will make certain that you never want for anything.
𓆃 No matter how close or distant your relationship is, no matter how much you may or may not disagree, he’ll always guarantee that your books are balanced, your leisurely activities are alloted for and alligned, and that your house always boasts fresh meat (or an extra allotment for your home farm, if that’s more your thing).
𓆃 He does it all quietly and never expects to be thanked. Because for Tobirama, dominance over the household is not nearly as important as his self-assigned role as provider.
𓆃 This role doesn’t tend to clash if you also prefer to be active in maintaining your affairs, as it’s far easier for the two of you to fall into a well-oiled system. You fill his cup and he fills yours.
𓆃 It’s always lucky when intersts and attitudes allign, but even if yours don’t, Tobirama always acknowledges what’s special to you.
𓆃 He may not like gardening, but you’ll find your garden freshly plowed when it’s planting season.
𓆃 You may never be able to bring him to your dancing lessons, but he always stays the entire duration for your performance during festival season, never letting his eyes stray away.
𓆃 Should you find yourself with children or students to mentor, Tobirama has proven himself to be excellent with children despite his otherwise cold exterior.
𓆃 And in turn, children love Tobirama. He could be his usual somewhat grumpy self and all the children in the village would still be begging him for a piggy-back ride.
𓆃 The juxtaposition is very endearing and if you didn’t have children of your own before, you might find yourself wishing for some (if that’s your thing).
𓆃 The best parts of your relationship happens when the world is quiet. The little moments in the kitchen where you end up having an in depth discussion neither of you had planned on.
𓆃 Times when he refills your tea without even being asked, never taking a pause from his response to something insiteful you’d just said.
𓆃 Because everything else—your relationship, what it’s for or what it's meant to be—melts away in that moment. Because it’s those little moments that reminds you that you’re just two humans from a different time in a new world.
Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.
NOW LOADING . . .
KOKONOIIS' KINKTOBER 2024 TOKREV FIC LIST
tags ; age gap , threesome , blasphemy kink , purity kink , camming , sugar daddies , power imbalance , stripping , exhibitionism , club sex , dubious consent , drug use , somnophilia , drunk sex , high sex , cucking , fake relationship , voyeurism , public sex , psuedocest , mentor kink , secret pining , consensual non consent , stalking , hatefucking
##SENJU KAWARAGI & WAKASA IMAUSHI ﾉ age gap, daddy issues, threesome
the night before takemichi's wedding, your girlfriend senju tells you about wakasa, a guy she used to work out with frequently at the gym that she knew was going to be at the wedding. thing is, you already knew him, having had a one night stand with him a few years ago. senju immediately had to know more, but it didn't really seem like she was jealous for the reasons she should be jealous. oddly enough, the day of the wedding comes, and senju seems pretty adamant about spending time with wakasa during the event. it's a little awkward, but for your girlfriend, you'd do anything.
##TAIJU SHIBA ﾉ purity / blasphemy kink
the church was otherwise silent other than the deep voice of the man on his knees in front of the cross, his head bowed, searching for forgiveness for the sin he was committing. the sin ? you, spread out right in front of him, trying to stay otherwise silent like he had told you to be as he finished his prayer before he indulged in this carnal sin. he'd get to you, as long as you could be good during his prayers, and he'd be even more generous if you could recite a few prayers while he was in between your thighs.
##HAJIME KOKONOI & TETTA KISAKI ﾉ camming, sugar daddies, power imbalance
both ceos of the tk & ko group knew that their new secretary had a secret hobby that you tried to keep separate from your work there, but personal lives always had a way of bleeding into professional ones. not that either one of them minded, either, and even supported you silently on their own before they decided that they would like to take part in your hobbies, too, since they were funding it. somehow, though, you didn't seem too against the idea of letting them join in for a few livestreams.
##WAKASA IMAUSHI & SHINICHIRO SANO ﾉ stripping, exhibitionism, club sex
shinichiro had a look on his face that sent a shiver down your spine, but still you sat in between him and wakasa in the booth, your little latex outfit riding up your thighs as you listened to what wakasa wanted you to do for him. you weren't a shy person, not really, but something about the look on shinichiro gave you made you want to hide in a corner. still, you had to put on a show, and you were not in the business to disappoint.
##HARUCHIYO SANZU ﾉ dubious consent, drug use, borderline somnophilia
he swore that it would be a fun little ride, that he would help you through whatever you go through. he assured you that he'd taken the drug so many times, of course he knew anything that could possibly happen to you. you weren't going to tell him no and of course there was a part of you that was curious, too, so you took the pretty pills. it would be okay, of course, you had haruchiyo there to guide you threw the trip, and if his hands started to wander, well, that was part of the fun.
##RAN HAITANI & RINDOU HAITANI ﾉ dubious consent, drunk sex, competitive sex
you came to the late night halloween party with a guy dressed as the killer from those cheesy scream movies, but spent most of your time with the dj, who could shoot back shots faster than you'd ever seen before. you had no idea that the two of them knew each other, until you went home with the dj only to find the guy you ditched there as if he were waiting for you, and he certainly didn't seem happy that you left him for his younger brother. you'd have to find a way to apologize to him, even if your brain was a little fuzzy.
##SHUJI HANMA & TETTA KISAKI ﾉ cucking, fake relationship, voyeurism
fake dating tetta kisaki had its perks, of course. it didn't hurt that he wasn't bad to look at, and he was pretty padded in the wallet, too. but the important part of the title was the ' fake ' in fake dating. as long as you didn't let the public know, you could see anyone you wanted, within reason, of course. you never thought you would exercise that privilege until you met shuji hanma. shuji didn't think he would want tetta's girl, either, until he met you. it seems you both had the same thing in mind, there was only one piece left of this puzzle.
##YUZUHA SHIBA ﾉ handcuffs, public sex
yuzuha was never really the same after taiju was killed, but that was okay, you loved her still all the same, come hell or high waters. of course, you and your girlfriend had gone through this discussion before. if she was caught by the police and had to give a statement about her whereabouts on that night, you knew exactly what to say and how to prove her innocence. you were her alibi, so it was important you play your role to perfection. even in such a serious situation, though, you couldn't help but admire how beautiful your girlfriend looked, with her hands cuffed together in the interrogation room.
##SHINICHIRO SANO ﾉ psuedocest, secret pining, mentor kink
you'd shown up at the sano family residence one day as many people tended to do if they were a part of tokyo's delinquent world, but you never really left. you weren't part of the family, but you also weren't... not part of the family. eventually, you got your own room to sleep in if you needed to. sometimes you didn't fall asleep immediately, though, too focused on the growing need between your legs, although you could never quite get there for one reason or another. shinichiro was more than aware of this, of course, and he was also willing to help you out, too.
##HARUCHIYO SANZU ﾉ cnc, stalking, hatefucking
dating haruchiyo was the worst decision of your life, but it was far too late to take it back now. after you caught him with a camera inconspicuously put inside of a gift he gave you, you had finally had enough. lucky for you, your lease was ending, so you were able to move into a different apartment on the other side of tokyo. unlucky for you, sanzu wasn't going to let you leave that easily. he was never, ever going to let you get away from him that easily, no matter how fast or far you tried to run from him. he ruined your life, but that wasn't enough for him. he needed to ruin you.
synopsis : various best friend!characters realizing they like you a lil more when they should
[including bonten!sanzu, draken, senju, izana, aiura, saiki, satan, leon kennedy, and tamaki suoh.]
no pronouns used / gender neutral ; [name] used in place of y/n ; reader makes filipino food in izanas, im not from the philippines so pls don’t expect it to b accurate ; friends w benefits situation in satans ; reader dresses as sophie in tamakis but w pants and a shirt instead of a dress
song inspo ; you are in love by taylor swift
if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.
——♥︎——
SANZU ♥︎
“big, scary bonten man,” you mumble to yourself. sanzu peaks at you over his shoulder as he cleans his gun, eyes narrowing at your tone. “never mean around me though, hm?”
he pauses, head tilting and pink hair following with it. you scoot further up the bed, laying against his pillows as he thinks. “i’m nice to mikey.”
“…that’s your boss.”
sanzu makes a show of rolling his eyes as he clicks his gun back together, satisfied with its new shine. “do you want me to be mean to you or somethin’?”
“why not?” you speak with a grin. the edge of the bed lifts as he stands, putting all his weapons away. sanzu pauses at your words, scrunching his nose in confusion. “definitely don’t look so mean ‘nd scary.”
huffing, he settles back on the bed, still sitting on the edge but a little closer this time. “i kill people, [name]. that’s pretty scary.”
you shrug, sitting up. your feet knock against his knees at the movement. “c’mon, haru,” you tilt your head back so that your neck is fully accessible, “do your worst.”
the room stills and you’re afraid you’ve pushed too far — afraid he might actually take you up on the offer. but something soft is pressed to the left side of your neck within the next second, lifting and latching onto different spots.
you gulp, feeling his responding grin against the middle of your throat.
the right side is given attention now, multiple kisses being scattered randomly. sanzu lifts his lips once more and places them on the base of your neck, his tongue and teeth making an appearance—
“ow, fucker!” you pull away from his touch with a scowl, your hand covering the new bite mark you’ve been gifted with. haru is grinning widely, teeth flashing in the light — you’re surprised you don’t see blood hanging on them. “didn’t have to bite me, haru.”
he shrugs, “wasn’t even my worst.”
you eye him, slowly dropping your hand from your sore and pulsating neck. “i feel sorry for your one night stands, then.”
sanzu hums, his right hand sliding closer to your hip and his body following until you’re face to face. it makes your cheeks heat ; makes you focus on the movement of his lips as he grins. “they won’t matter much anymore, anyways. have someone new i’m seeing.”
“oh yeah?”
“yeah,” his lips brush against your neck once more. sanzu tugs at your waist, bringing you closer to him as his voice softens into a whisper and settles against your ear. “if you’ll have me.”
DRAKEN ♥︎
a towel is handed to you, followed by a hoodie you know isn’t yours. draken’s cheeks flush, “in case you get cold.”
with an awkward wave, he leaves you alone. the shower you take is needed, warming you up and calming you down at the same time. no matter how long you’d known him, it was still the first time you’d be with draken all night.
the rainstorm appeared suddenly and disappeared as abruptly. it’d drenched you just as you and draken left the cafe you met at. his place was closer, he’d said, and he asked so quietly for you not to say anything.
it was weird until you got to his place — a brothel.
“alright in there, cutie?” you’d just stepped out of the shower when the voice followed you through the walls. “ken asked me to check on you.”
they were sweet, the women that surrounded draken. they made sure you weren’t hungry ; didn’t need any refreshments or anything as they led you to draken’s room. “have a nice night!” they leave with a giggle.
draken eyes the smile you’re wearing as you tug his hoodie comfortably around your neck. “somethin’ happen?”
“they’re nice,” is all you say in response. his cheeks heat up once more as he turns away from you, body stiffening. “are you ready for bed?”
“oh—“ he clears his throat and shuffles where he stands. “you can take the bed. i’ll have the floor.”
you shake your head, pulling the blanket back and patting the bed. “i don’t mind sharing. right or left side?”
that’s how you end up face to face with draken, staring absently into the dark as your combined body heat warms the comforter. you can feel and hear him let out a sigh, “you okay? all comfy?”
“yeah,” your voice is embarrassingly breathy. he lets out another huff before an arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his chest. “oh— that’’s better, actually.”
draken lets out a laugh, “m’glad. goodnight, [name].”
SENJU ♥︎
“on the count of three!” senju jumps out of the dressing room adjacent to yours. she pauses, wobbling where she stands before straightening up. her head tilts, “it’s... something, alright!”
you pause, “you hate it.”
“...a little.” senju struts off, grabbing two of everything that catches her eye. she looks over the cloth she’s picked out, nodding in approval. “here,” she stuffs the fabric into your arms, “try this instead.”
you take a bit to figure out what she’d even brought to you — figuring which was the top and which the bottom — struggling to squeeze yourself in. once situated and comfortable, you gaze into the mirror.
it’s cute, watch senju told you to wear. the color is nice and balances your skin out, brightening it and making it glow. the bottoms fit your legs nicely, shaping and enlongating them. you hum in satisfaction, peeking out of the dressing room to see if senju’s done.
“[name]! let me see your outfit!” senju spots you right away. she gestures for you to join her enthusiastically. you open the door fully, scooting out until you’re face to face with her.
you hold out your arms nonchalantly, “ta-da.”
her eyes widen, mouth falling open ever so slightly. snapping it closed, she gulps, looking away before her cheeks turned color. you tilt your head, “senju?”
“yeah,” her voice cracks. the outfit she’s wearing is the same as yours — a matching moment, she went with. senju giggles nervously, “yeah. you look... pretty.”
prettier than she’d ever tell you.
IZANA ♥︎
the smell of lumpia and fried chicken coats the room around you. ran had just rinsed the rice, moving to mix together the rice noodles and shrimp for the palabok. kakucho is to his left, slicing boiled eggs so they could go on top.
you let out a sigh, nodding your head at the impressive menu you’d whiped together. filipino food was a little out of your comfort zone, an unkown taste to you. however, today was an important day — a special one. the oven dings, indicating the cake you’d made was finished.
fresh out of the oven, the simplistic chocolate cake looks and smells delicious. you slap your hands together, “jus’ needs to cool down and we’re ready to go!”
the front door opens suddenly, rindou’s voice calling out a warning as he enters. shion is right behind him, pink-faced and sheepish as izana steps in, hands crossed over his chest. he raises and eyebrow, “what’s this?”
“uh—“ kakucho adjusts the apron he’s wearing. it matches the one you’re wearing — ran refused one. he looks around, “surprise?”
“rindou! you were supposed to keep him busy!”
the blond shrugs, “he got bored.”
you sigh, closing your eyes as the food you’ve made is thoroughly examined. izana meets your gaze and raises his eyebrow in question once again. “it was supposed to be a birthday surprise.”
“...it’s filipino food.”
“yeah,” you wring your hands nervously. “you haven’t had it in a while, so i thought i’d try making it.”
izana looks over the food again, stealing a bite here and there as he goes. his eyes close ; his chest expanding with the comfort the familiar dishes bring. when his eyes open, they’re brighter ; more tender than what you’re used to seeing.
your left hand is raised, a kiss being placed on your knuckles as izana pulls you close. “thank you, [name]. this means a lot.”
you grin, “happy birthday, z.”
AIURA ♥︎
in the morning, right after she does her makeup and before her uniform is on, aiura looks to her crystal ball for guidance. just a way to know things will be okay ; the day won’t be weird.
through the crystalline sphere, she sees her hand clasped in someone else’s. giddy, aiura believes this means she’s found her chosen one. the one made for her ; the one who will love her endlessly.
“—has to be the one!” she’s ranting to an unlistening saiki, rambling about her peek into the future. kaidou slips from leaning against her desk at her words. aiura sighs happily, “i can’t wait to meet them.”
a faceless classmate interupts the moment. “some idiots are fighting outside.”
you go to look — aiura can’t even remember when you came into the room. you rub your eyes tiredly before they widen dramatically. “that’s our idiot! aren’s out there!”
people flood outside, pouring out to help their beaten and bruised classmate. aiura is frozen in her seat — how did she not see this? how did a fight just miraculously break out?
a touch breaks her out of her thoughts. you’re holding her hand — frowning and ranting as you lead her outside. aiura’s face heats — you’re her chosen one? her one and only happiness?
she gulps as she looks up to your face. this changes things.
SAIKI ♥︎
the day starts normally. kaidou tells saiki he’d spent the night fighting agianst the dark reunion — he was studying all night. kuboyasu fought the urge to threaten an older boy in the school — just barely. nendou had already asked to eat ramen — they’d just gotten to school.
saiki let out a sigh, eyes staring at the board in front of him. aiura had bought a new perfume that was clouding his nose, his thoughts — everything. she leans her head to the right so that she could meet his gaze. “what do you think, saiki?”
she’s met with silence. the chair behind him creaks as you sit down, a small laugh being let out as you do. aiura pouts your way, “[name], saiki’s ignoring me!”
you tap saiki’s shoulder lightly, just a brush of a touch, before turning to the blond. “don’t take it personal, aiura. you can just ask me what you want.”
“an angel,” she beams at you. aiura turns to face you fully, scrunching her nose at saiki as she goes. “i got some new perfume and nail polish recently,” she flashes her fingers at you. “cute, right?”
you lean in closer, chin barely brushing against saiki’s shoulder as you go. you let out a small oooh! at the sigh of her glitzed up nails. “super cute, actually!”
she squints, leaning in a little closer as she does. “you’re wearing a new eyeshadow, aren’t you?”
“i am!” you close your eyes completely, relaxing your face so she can see the color. “like it?”
“looks... familiar for some reason.”
saiki peers at you sneakily from over his shoulder, only looking at you from the corner of his eye. he whips his head around before anyone can see. it is familiar — it’s his exact eye color. it takes everything in saiki to not light up in flames at the thought.
SATAN ♥︎
you had been an acquaintance of satan for months now. he’d come to you when he felt upset ; when the only feeling he could name was rage. when the world was burning and erupting inside of him, boiling and spilling out of his seams. he often took his anger out on you — with your consent, of course. he’s bruise you, scratch you and leave his mark lingering in any way he could.
today, though… today was the opposite. there was an emptiness inside of him ; a devoid and barren system that left him feeling nothing.
satan came to you, straggling and stone-faced as he locked his fingers into yours. you’d gotten close during your times together ; he knew every sigh you made and every face you held. you did the same to him ; made him feel comfort and freedom in ways he couldn’t around his brothers. that’s why he usually came to you when any feeling hit — you didn’t feel suffocating the way the house of lamentation always did.
“you okay?” you’re on his lap somehow, thighs sandwiching his own as his fingers dig into your hips. you brush his hair out of his eyes, “satan?”
he lets out a hum. you jostle slightly, hips meeting his torso — satan let’s out a small groan and let’s his forehead fall to your shoulder. “need me to help you relax?”
it starts off slow, your kissing. the usual upkeep is messy ; tangled and rushed as your clothes are ripped away and your bodies pressed tightly. this time, satan is careful to turn your head the way he wants it to, his hands on your cheekbones and guiding your head left and right.
you’ve just unbuttoned his shirt when you feel it. tears, dripping down your own cheeks. you pause, pulling away and letting your hands lift from his shoulders and settle on his cheeks. you tilt your head, “satan?”
his fingertips welted into your back, molding themselves onto either side of your spine like a pair of faded wings. satan breathes in, his chest stuttering with the feeling. he sniffs, nose and eyebrows curving in confusion as he pulls further away from you. “what’s going on?”
“you’re crying.” you wipe underneath his eyes gently, frown on your kissed, puffy lips. “why are you crying? what’s wrong?”
“i… i’m not sure,” his lower lip trembles. satan falls deeper into your hold, his arms looping around your waist and pulling you closer to him. “feeling too much.”
his fingers dip underneath your shirt, and pull it up until you’re bare and exposed. satan smiles tenderly and you grin back, your own hands crawling up his exposed chest. “sure you’re okay?”
“good with you,” it’s murmured against your neck. satan sniffs again before nipping at your throat, opened mouth kisses trailing down to your sternum. “always good with you.”
LEON S. KENNEDY ♥︎
the bar you’ve found yourself at is starting to get boring. you leave after waving eagerly to your friends, shuffling on the sidewalk as you awkwardly pull your phone from its safe spot. a text from leon catches your eye — a mere thumbs up to the long paragraphs you’d sent his way. you scowl only to realize you’re closer to his apartment than you thought.
he wasn’t asleep — he never slept well — but he wasn’t fully awake either. hearing a tap on his door was strange, but leon let it be, assuming his neighbors had hit the wall on their way in.
until a long, drawn out whine of his name flew through the room.
swaying in his doorway was you ; eyes half-lided and your shirt falling down your shoulder. you grin his way, “hi, lee!”
“[name]. why’re you here?” he sounds gruff ; annoyed with the way you seem to always show up at his door. you know he isn’t, though, used to the tone his voice holds. leon holds his door open as you stagger inside, “been drinkin’ again?”
“mm,” you flop onto his couch, “birthday party. got bored. remembered you jus’ came home.”
leon quietly places your shoes by the door and grabs a blanket while you yawn. “missed me then?”
you let out another hum, pulling the blanket he’d given you further up your shoulders. slowly, your eyes peel open and you smile at him softly. “always miss you when you’re gone, lee. like when you’re home.”
home wasn’t something leon remembers. he moved around a lot now, going from city to city for his government affiliated job. home meant the presence of care ; of warmth. leon’s bare, empty apartment held nothing like that. crystal eyes fell to you when you let out a small hiccup, sagging to the right until your head fell on his shoulder.
“m’home for now, [name].”
TAMAKI ♥︎
haruhi adjusts the hat you’re wearing, making sure the blue blouse you’re wearing is tucked in properly. you shuffle in your spot nervously, fingers picking at your cuticles as she nods to herself. her eyes meet yours, “you’ll do fine, [name].”
“says you,” you frown. you stretch the neck of your blouse and clear your throat. “you guys are used to this stuff.”
haruhi swats your hands away, grabbing them in her own. “you will do fine. c’mon, it’s time to start.”
“welcome!”
tamaki doesn’t have time to speak to you ; doesn’t have time to admire the outfit you’re wearing before they’re greeting guests. his eyes stray to you again and again, his attention on you and not the guests who surround him. you go to every table, dropping off sweet treats and teacups as you go.
“—lly cute.” a girl is saying to him. tamaki blinks back into reality as his shoulder is touched. “right, tamaki?”
“could you repeat that, princess?”
her cheeks flare a bright pink as she straightens up in her seat. “i said you and [name] match. howl and sophie, right? it’s really cute.”
tamaki’s eyes find you again as you drop slices of cake off at the twins’ table. they giggle with you, tugging on your hat playfully before you leave. “we do match, don’t we?”
orchid eyes stay focused on you for the rest of the day. even after the club’s activities are over, and you’re helping clean up — he still stares. you finally look back, placing your hat on a table as you go. “yes, tamaki? you’ve been staring.”
“we’re sophie and howl,” his voice is light, faraway as he speaks. “did you notice?”
“only after i saw you.” you smile gently, watching kyoya tally up any and every cost. “a nice surprise for us both, i suppose.”
tamaki stares at your reflection in the window in front of him, eyeing the way you portray your chosen characters. his cheeks barely heat, but he still feels like it’s obvious to everyone. haruhi meets his flustered gaze and grins.
——♥︎——
i know nothing abt cooking n even less abt filipino food so i hope izanas was okay </3 hope they were all okay tbh
IX, FINALE — HAPPINESS...? // F. READER x TOBIRAMA SENJU
With Tobirama you learned the true meaning of happiness, of belonging, of love. He had shown you the life you had only dreamt of, he gave you a chance to become a mother. With him, you wanted to grow old.
contents: angst, tissues might me needed, major character death — 1,3k words
a/n: with that, I'm closing this story. I want to thank you guys so, so much for supporting it. when I began writing it years ago, I thought it will be just for myself and then, when I decided to publish the first part of it, I never, ever, expected it to be so well received. I thought that Tobirama isn't a character that's liked and I'm so happy I decided to post it. I'm sorry for all the delays and waiting. thank you ❥
POLITICALLY LOVELESS || SERIES MASTERLIST
Despair.
You have not gotten to know the real meaning of the word before, despite the rocky youth in your home village and everything life threw at you. It was an odd concept, one that you were gladly avoiding for all the years you spent in the world and instead of hurting and sadness, you basked in the happiness of your existence. With friends, with family, with people who cherished you.
With Tobirama, you have found joy. A bliss of belonging, the love that made you feel like you were walking on clouds and sunshine. He was a man of stoicism and calmness, a pillar of justice and cold-calculation, but you managed to break through the layers of protective aloofness, tear off the impassive armor and nestle yourself within his chest. You’ve got him in love. And you were in love too. Truly. Completely.
And then, when your son came to the world, you thought you’ve found everything you could ever wish for. Kazuki was a blessing, a baby created of you and your beloved Tobirama. A boy, whose name you chose to represent the hope and love you shared, the dreams and pride. And it was beautiful, to nurture the little human, to support his growth into an excellent human and watch him develop the features of both you and the Senju. You remember the way your husband cared for him, with delicate hands and warm smiles — just as he would tend to you. Because he loved you, with all his heart, even though he not always was capable of showing that. You knew more than words could ever express. You knew his heart through and through, could read it like an open book.
You watched your baby grow up. You remember the days when you’d visit Tobirama in his office, to bring him food and kisses, all while carrying your little treasure in your arms. Kazuki would always squeal happily, reaching his little hands towards his dada, demanding the cuddles and smooches. And without fail, your husband’s face would brighten up at the sight of you. Every single time. There was no document more important than you and his son, there was no meeting he wouldn’t stop just to spend a moment with his beloved family. You were spoiled by him and with all your might, you aimed to spoil him too.
Then, the boy began training with his father and you were there to support both of them, to kiss scraped knees and bring rice balls and snacks. You were there to watch your son learn new techniques, you helped him with weapons and jutsus. With a heart full of love and admiration, you observed how your precious boy played with Kagami, how they trained together and spent time as if they were siblings joined by blood. It was beautiful. It was a dream.
It had to be a nightmare.
Despair has never been a feeling you truly experienced. Why would you? You had all you could possibly want. A beautiful house, a garden, a village you could call your home. You had a beautiful child and a loving husband. Tobirama. He has shielded you from feelings akin to sorrow. You didn’t even know it, but everything he did was to secure your future in safety. The ninja academy, the ANBU, even the police that was run by Uchihas. In Senju’s mind, you were the main reason to continue living, to continue striving towards the best outcomes. You and Kazuki. Two parts of his heart.
This couldn’t be true.
You remembered the days that were careless. You’d wake up in his arms as Sunday’s sun filtered through the curtains. You’d inhale the scent of his skin — a fresh rain and musk — and then kiss his cheeks enough times to make up for all the time you couldn’t do it when he wore his usual face paints. Then, your son would join you, jumping onto the bed and nudging between you two, giggling with this beautiful youthful innocence that you wished with your entire heart to protect for as long as possible. You’d cuddle for a while, whisper-talking about sweet little nothings as he’d play with your hair, keeping you in his protective embrace. Oh, you’d wish to go back to those days. Those Sundays, those hours spent in your little corner of the world, sound and filled with joy, with the birds singing outside and the scent of laundry in the air.
No.
Or the days when it rained. Tobirama loved the sound of rain, the droplets pitter-pattering against the windows in the late evenings. You loved those moments too, when you’d melt against his chest, with a herbal aroma of tea filling the room and the warmth of his body so close to yours. He would tell you all about his day, the decisions he had to make as hokage, the improvements of his students, the funny stories from the trainings. He would kiss your head over and over again and sigh in content, as you basked in his touch. And then, the calm would be broken by the sound of the doors snapping open — soaked in rain, Kazuki would run inside along with Kagami, both laughing and panting as they quickly shed the damp vests and muddy shoes. The life would come back to the house, along with the chaos that you wouldn’t give up for any treasures of the world because you already had what’s most precious. On those days, you’d fall asleep late, after drying the boys, feeding and tucking them to bed. It’s just then, after you’d make sure both Kagami and Kazuki were asleep and give them both few gentle forehead kisses, when you’d allow yourself once more to melt into Tobirama’s embrace.
You thought that there’s no way in the world you’d ever survive without the feeling of cuddling to your husband. He’s became the air you needed to breathe, the blood that’s needed for your heart to beat. He’s became everything, your pride, your soulmate, your lover and the father of your child. He was a person you couldn’t wait to grow old with.
No, please.
“He volunteered to be a decoy. We couldn’t– I couldn’t stop him.”
There was nothing hard to understand in the simple sentence that was delivered to you by Kagami. You watched him, your eyes absentmindedly following the tears that run down his cheeks as he trembled in front of you. The other ninjas that knelt behind him had their heads hanging low but it was easy to tell some of them were crying.
Your husband was gone.
In an instinct, you took the Uchiha to yourself, hugging the young boy to your heart as if you were his own mother — because partially, you were as close to him as that. He hugged you tightly, whispering apologies like a broken cassette and you rocked him softly, back and forth, telling him it’s okay and kissing his temple. You told him that it’s okay, all while your own heart was breaking to pieces.
So that’s the feeling.
Despair was something you have not experienced until you watched the coffin being covered with sand. Until you watched your husband being buried right in front of your eyes. Tobirama died, sacrificing himself to save the youth, to stop the enemy, to save you and your son — Kazuki, who clung to your body, crying his eyes out as the burial took place. Who cried for weeks after and whom you cried with, even though you tried to be strong. For him and for the man that took your heart down to his grave.
Because of Tobirama, you have learned the meaning of true happiness. Of love and belonging, of bliss and joy.
Because of Tobirama, you have got to experience being a mother and raising a child.
And because of Tobirama, you have learned the meaning of true despair.
tags: bonten!senju, sapphic!reader, friends with benefits-situation, can this be classified as angst? not sure, just a little writing practice nothing too serious
“Don’t make a scene, Y/N,” Senju pushes you out of the VIP room. Her grip is firm, the vein in her hand as no more prominent than the one in her neck.
Your drunken self staggers beside her, dress a rumpled mess and your face stained with mascara-ink tears. You had barged into the exclusive room wailing about how mean Senju was for ghosting you and taking your feelings for her for granted.
She finds the bathroom and pins you against the tiled wall, her emerald eyes blazing with anger. “What the hell were you thinking barging in while I was with the higher ups? I never took you as a damn drunkard.”
“And I didn’t think you were such a heartless bitch!” You shoot back, glaring at her through inky eyes. Your sharp yet slurred words don’t surprise her as she pinches her nose bridge with a sigh.
“I thought I made it clear that-“
“You don’t want me anymore? I get it.” You cut in, sniffling
“Do you? Do you really?” She moves closer to your face and you feel a sense of unease. “ You just decided to take a shit on my reputation, to top it off you kick one of the boss’s bodyguards in the balls?” She narrows her eyes into slits. “If I hadn’t intervened, your body would have been floating in Shibuya River by tomorrow.”
You scoff, shaking your head. “All you care about now is your reputation and Bonten. Why couldn’t it ever just be me and you?”
“Oh boy here we go…” Senju sighs in exasperation. You continue nonetheless, the alcohol giving you one hell of a confidence boost.
“Like old times! You never wanted to be involved in this kinda stuff anyway yet here you are! Is it because of-“
She grabs your cheeks, smushing them with her lacquered fingers. It feels like claws sinking into your flesh.
“I’ve let you run your mouth for a while now. Don’t you dare mention his name.” She pressed her knee between your thighs, her breath fanning against your nose and lips.
You gulp, stuck between not wanting to press her on and doing just that.
“Life doesn’t always go the way you want it. I know that.” She pokes at your forehead. “That fantasy you live in your head? Get out of it.”
Senju shoves you against the tiled wall and your back aches. You whine out her name, reaching out to hold her but she dodges your advances but grabs your wrist to keep you from falling.
She fishes out her phone and calls an Uber, tightening your grasp on you as you struggle to break free.
Eventually she carries you over her shoulder like it’s nothing, her muscles tensing underneath her suit jacket. You kick and fuss but it doesn’t matter when the Uber arrives she practically throws you into the backseat.
She shut the door just as you were about to recover from the dizzying impact. “Lose my number.” She says to you, then turns to the driver and gives him the name of a hotel she owns for you to stay in.
“My bodyguard will take you to your room under an alias. Lay low for a while. I’ll get rid of all the data about you.” She says in a hushed tone. For a moment, you swear her eyes soften, but she turns to walk away before you can properly decipher her gaze.
Mikey being the little bitch he is (in a nice way ofc) would crash in your house/apartment and if your making sweets trust me bae you aint seeing thoes sweets in the next 10 or less min i do see him after eating all you'r sweets cuddling you as payment for eating all your cookie's (he is so cute tho :-P )i would agree with the payment
Chifuyu would take you to cat cafe dates if you have also a cat you and chifuyu would (probably) set them on dates it would be so cute < 3
Mitsuya while he is in a toman meeting or a fight you would usually be the on that take care of his sister's while he is gone also expect a lot of handmade clothes from him on any holiday that involve gifting or just at random times in general
You Senju would plan studying usually at her house but in the end it would just end with the both of you either cuddling or watching a Random show becouse Senju couldnt pay attention to the subject when she has her pretty girlfriend infront of Here! (In her defense)
Kokoni Will Always take you on shopping dates, it dosent matter what time, how much it costs in the end, he has the money for it and he would do anything to see you're eyes light up with happines <3
Ran knows that he won't always be at your side when you are in danger so in return he Will buy you your own banton with your favorite colour of course :) and then both of you guys Will be matching, wepon wize <3
Izana would take you on dates in abondend buildings on top of the rooftops, and you two most likely had your first kiss there <3
