Let's say you take a break from our day
And gettin' back to the old garage
Because life's too short anyway
But at least it's better then average
As long as you got me
And I got yo, you know we'll got a lot to go around
I'll be your friend, your other brother
Another love to come and comfort you
the days when it was just the four of them and the wide world that was supposed to be discovered, were peaceful, a precious memory he still dwells in at times. yes, life is too short and every single moment dohwan got to live in those old days had formed him in a way. but things won't stay the same, and similarly to the flow of time, humans change, melt and turn into creatures of this cruel world.
[►] BTOB - Friend
Maybe we didn’t realize it
But we’ve gotten more and more close to each other and now we’re grown up
You probably know me better than my family Maybe
You’re my brother from another mother sister from another mister
We’re not blood related but it doesn’t matter
Got each other’s backs no matter what happens...
no matter what happens. that's what he had believed back in the old days, when their friendship was still intact and uncomplicated. when everyone was still just friends, instead of lovers and ex-friends. but in the end everything fades eventually and all that is left to do is, to stare at the shattered bond at their feet, wondering how the time had went by.
[►] Huh Gak - Hello
To @seolhyunmi :
The person that I loved crazily
There’s so much that I didn’t say yet
You’re the person that used to love me
Now I can’t touch you
Suffering to the point of death, to the point of death
Can you see me dying and not alive?
dohwan's first love and his first encounter with real feelings. things had gone well and they were madly in love with each other and dohwan had felt like a human again, until the day where their relationship changed. seolhyun was targeted by hydrus. being in love with the enemy was unforgiveable, so he broke all ties to her, and left behind the feelings that showed him a different side of the emotionless and stoic man. with the the lost love, most of the human within him died.
[►] SHAUN - Way Back Home
To @mieunmi:
I'll never leave your side
You will never be alone
Even when we go through changes
Even when we're old
Remember that I told you
I'll find my way back home
the last one standing from his old friends is eunmi, the one he had known for the longest. his loyalty towards her arises from his wish to keep at least a part of his part alive. eunmi is the only one who still remembers how who he had been and in hope to keep those memories from vanishing into oblivion, he returns to her, keeps staying at her side, even when both of them had changed.
[►] Jay Park - Legacy
To @seungjinmi:
Small-minded petty shit
Somethin' we don’t entertain'
We do somethin' lame
Live and learn
I'm slipping, I'm falling, I can't get up
I know you’ll catch me, support me and help me get up
Yeah this bullshit’s whatever, I'll show nothin’ but love
when things were still good between them, they were the ultimate homies. seungjin and dohwan hung around each other day and night, there was nobody who could separate them and keep them from doing their thing. they could rely on each other, were like brothers and their trust was unbreakable until the day seungjin changed and shoke the bond between the four of them.
❛❛ i know that you’ve been hurting all this time. ❜❜
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ GO FIGURE, YOU WERE THE 𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙂𝙀𝙍 // SEUNGJIN
there’d been a few occasions on which eunmi acknowledged — even if it were only to herself — that she didn’t have the right to speak of seungjin, to think of him, to wish anything of or relating to him, to be honest. in this rare occasion, she thinks he is the one with no right. years have passed but he chooses now to say something to her, to say this to her. as if eunmi didn’t know the pain of losing a parent, as if eunmi didn’t know the pain of a strained relationship with a parent, as if she couldn’t understand him anymore to the point that he pushed her away. he pushed and pulled until her heartstrings no longer had any give.
“ shut up, seungjin. shut up. ” because all other words fail her — because she can’t exactly say he’s wrong. because she did feel pain, but for so many other reasons. reasons she can no longer tell him, some reasons she’s never told anyone, even seol or dohwan. reasons like them because she believes it was her fault they all fell apart like this. because their life as a group of four spiraled and splintered off into twos and ones. the most unfortunate being the moments in which each of them choose to stand alone instead of together.
she thinks of how seol, who didn’t choose a side, still must’ve felt torn between them, must’ve known both sides of the story and was unable to do anything. she thinks of dohwan and how stoic he can be, how solemn, and how seungjin’s influence on him to loosen up a bit was lost because of her broken heart, because of her vengeful heart. a bitter heart, she notes because she can’t stand the fact that he has the gall to say this to her. to open his mouth and speak of how she’d been hurting as if he accepted the blame.
“ you don’t know me anymore. ” — in fact, killed the old me. but the new me isn’t much better.
INBOX MEME “5. watch your muse dozing off while watching TV. “ ft. @seolhyunmiseungjin’s family home, 2:38 am
the volume is barely a hearing level at this point, the screen of the tv casting a pale blue light onto the viewers. seolhyun’s curled up on the couch with both feet up, head on a pillow that rests on top of seungjin’s lap. the male’s fingers thread through seolhyun’s hair idly as his eyes stay focused on the screen. he’s not even sure what they’re watching or even if either of them is watching.
eventually, his eyes fall onto seolhyun’s face and he notices the way her lids slide shut once, then twice, then a third time for a while longer. so he continues combing through her hair, fighting his own tiredness as he pulls a blanket over her body, arm drapped lazily on top. sometime soon, his own eyes close as he promises himself he’ll bring her up to his bed right in a second.
he wakes up five hours later with the birds already chirping and his neck hurting.
The drink comes down on the counter harder than needed be but the force of the impact is nothing compared to the agitated energy radiating off the bar owner as she raises a brow at a male beside Seolhyun. “I believe yer aware of my bar policies so you better scram before I make ya.” The statement is finished with a tilt of her head and a smile, lids fluttered in silent warning but also appreciation as the guy scurries off without another utter of protest, mumbling nothing but a simple apology.
Bella only relaxes with a sigh when he returned to his pals in the far corner of the place. Gaze apologetic she slides the drink more into Seolhyun’s direction, a sympathetic smile accompanying her words. “Sorry ‘bout that darlin’. Hope he didn’t bother ya too much?”
his neck made a cracking sound, when he moved his head from one side to the other. dohwan had just arrived at his home, dressed in his usual black clothes. he looked at his phone to check if he had received any calls or messages. when the screen was blank, the male pushed the mobile phone back into his pocket. he leaned against his couch, while being in thoughts. the two of them didn't got to meet each other much, since they were both pretty busy. but when they did, he actually enjoyed being with her. he wasn't the type of guy who would engage in emotional, human interactions on a whim. seolhyun's accompany was just one of the few, dohwan could bear without getting irritated. in fact he liked her proximity. she was warm and soft and smelled good.
while thinking about her, he felt the corner of lips curl up a little, as if they were imitating a facial expression called smile. dohwan shoke his head to get rid of it, before he looked around. she still wasn't around and the urge to see her face made him impatient. as he was waiting on her, he got up from his seat and opened a bottle of wine to let it "breath". they've agreed to order some random ass food because dohwan didn't really knew how to cook. his hands weren't made for trivial activities like that. the male picked up the glass and whirled around the red liquor, before he took a sip and let the wine slip from the front to the back of his tongue.
dohwan hoped she was coming soon, he hated waiting.
admittedly, the broadcast hadn’t bothered her. an inconvenience if she really minded something so small in the long run. small in its execution — because the news that was revealed was certainly noteworthy. if they wanted attention, they got it, just not exactly from her. the aftermath is what she is forced to deal with but she doesn’t care to be any further involved than that, even with the knowledge of a few people close to her being in those gangs. her father’s assistant is the first to insist she stay with the bodyguards currently at their home and she’d argue against it if she didn’t think it wise to listen for once. only a fool would refuse to recognize that there’s a thirst for blood spreading over the city.
she’d been out when the news broke — preparations for what is undoubtedly the start of long nights preparing for her father’s birthday next month, for the excuse of a party he hosts every year — and she doesn’t bother thinking of going straight home just because of it. that is, until she realizes, more than keeping herself safe for lack of a better word ( because is it really safe there, is it really safe anywhere on the island ), she wants to keep seol safe. her friend seemed too busy lately to respond much to messages but eunmi didn’t mind. of all people, there is only one capable of making shim eunmi wait and that is kim seolhyun.
messages are sent again and, hopefully, not to no avail. when she arrives home after deciding the cut the day short, to play it by the book as her father would derisively call it, the only person she wants to speak to is seol. after all, seol is the only person she can trust not to be in her father’s pocket.
Are you still in love with Seungjin? If you had to chose one to stay with you for the rest of your life, would it be Seolhyun, Seungjin or me?
“ i’m surprised you would speak his name around me, or think you have any right to say it. ” neither of them are innocent in what happened. she should’ve apologized, he shouldn’t have chosen sides. but the past is just that, the past. there is no changing what is done and, as such, she doesn’t bother regretting it or hoping for things to be better. instead, she resents seungjin for what he had done; she resents him for being the reason why she feels as if something was taken from her; she resents him for proving that she truly has nothing.
“ that you would dare to suggest i could still be in love with him when i’ve never said that i was in love with him is ridiculous. almost as ridiculous as you asking me that when i dated him when i was so young. you, on the other hand, dated seol for years. are you still in love with her? are you still pretending that you wanted to break up with her when you did? i think you forget that i know you, oppa. ” she neglects to say that he forgets his place again too, that he isn’t meant to make her question such things, to upset her when he acts like her ultimate protector, as if ordained from the heavens themselves to protect her.
“ if i had to choose someone to stay with me my entire life, then i would choose seol. i will always choose seol, because you by my side 24/7 means you wouldn’t allow me to do anything remotely dangerous and you know i bore easily. besides, why are you including him in that? you’re being awfully . . . bold in your choices. ”
