trans sonny that's it that's the post
hear me out guys. this man is young, and idealistic, and has no family that we know of. he's given everything up to race, and sonny's almost overly masculine in his swagger, he's always trying so hard even if he tries to not show it. because he doesn't know how else to act, because he doesn't want people to have a shadow of a doubt in their minds about who he is. and it continues even afterwards, even when the stubble comes in on his chin, even after he gets his chest done, because old habits die hard and to him he still thinks of being a man as a western movie star. cool and uncaring and unruffled. so he tries to do it, even when he shouldn't, because he feels like this is the only way out.
racing is his escape. racing, he can be anyone. nobody checks your documents or looks too hard at your birth certificate if you're telling them that you don't care about the money, you just want to get in the car. and so he races, so he lets the world melt away, lets the worries about his body or his mind or how everyone looks at him melt away.
eventually, he learns to let it go. that it's all just noise. that it doesn't matter who he is, or who he was before, or anything except the here and now. so he takes his shirt off on occasion, and nobody asks about the scars on his chest-- those thin faded lines-- or the harsh bite of the skin graft on his leg. he dresses in t-shirts and jeans because he can, because he knows now he has nothing to prove.
and when ruben finds out, when ruben sees the scars and understands what they mean for the first time, he just pulls him closer and sonny's grateful for it. because this is who he is, this is who he is and ruben is kissing along the decades-old incisions and telling him he's perfect, and if this isn't heaven he doesn't know what is.
i dont think this is fully coherent but! there's something here i think. i also think trans ruben is really interesting and t4t sonny x ruben is calling to me so look out for that. please don't rip me to shreds f1 fans i just saw this movie and i thought it was cool
