Aesthetic
Something silly and quick I wrote bc I love cooking in Stardew, and Shane. I just *clenches my gay little fists* love my stocky chicken man.
Shane looks from the counter and back to you. Then back again. Then once more at you. You raise a brow expectantly. Right-he should say something nice. Breathing deeply he schools his face, or, tries to at least. He can’t stop the grimace of dread tightening his lips. He knew you had worked hard on this recipe. For several weekends now you had spent your evenings locked away in your storage shed. Those freaky little chickens hard at work laying eggs for your next big creation. He wanted to be supportive. But-
How could a little jar look threatening? Because this stuff looked threatening. Picking up the glass jar he holds it up at arm's length. Even though it had been kept in the fridge over night it still radiated a faint heat from within. Shane holds it up to the window looking back at your skeptically. The light from the bay window of your kitchen seemed to just be absorbed by the contents inside. Sucked into the blackhole in a bottle. Food shouldn’t do that. If he squints into the void, he could see little flecks of ruby red and crimson floating suspended within. Was it seasonings? Or from the eggs? A mystery he didn’t want to know.
Even with the lid on it smelled off. Yah- no he couldn’t…
“Well?” You look so hopeful. It was cute. Work weathers hands clutching over your chest, like his opinion was the only thing that matters. And that that opinion better be a good one. Big ol’ baby doe eyes did little to him now though. Years of this tactic being used against him from Jaz and Marnie had made him immune. But, you were his partner. He should be supportive right? By yoba; was he trying to hype himself up to try mayo.
He sighs rubbing a large hand over his stubbled jaw and hands you the jar. You take it from him with a squeal of excitement.
It had taken you several times to get the goop into a jar. First couple tries to get the condiment into a jar had gone disastrously. Something about the concoction made it volatile (another reason why he was scared of it). Each time you had tried to store it it broke the containers. You had spent the last hour before presenting him this monstrosity sweeping glass up from the shed floor. Somehow you had wrangled it into some old mason jars that self proclaimed “wizard” had given you. Yoba, you were going to make him go gray with these shenanigans.
“Wanna try it together?”
He hesitates. “Darling, I would like to make it to at least my late 30’s.” He loves you immensely, but that stuff looked deadly.
“Hey!” You laugh smacking his soft barrel chest. “My goth babies worked hard for this. I worked hard on this.” You reach over him and grab your favorite wood cutting board. Shuffling about you wave the remains of the baguette you made yesterday at him. Damn, he was weak to your baking.
You had planned to try this new mayo with some fresh cheese and prosciutto from the market. In theory you believed it would taste like something gourmet. You were hoping for an earthier mayo than the regular hens. Something like a rich truffle oil and peppery. It looked the part to you at least and the spices you added to the machine you knew for a fact were complementary. Cheese board done you reach for the tiny jar.
“Please don’t open that.” Shane begs.
“I’m opening it~” You sing out and pop the lid. The reaction was almost instantaneous from the both of you. He gags covering his nose and mouth with his hoodie. You cough momentarily unable to breath from the stench before screwing the lid back on. But it was too late for the kitchen. The small space now smelt of sulfur, ash, and old vinegar.
“What in the hell-” Shane coughs staggering for the back door to let some air in. “Why did you make that!” He yells over his shoulder taking in large gulps of fresh sea air.
“What else was I going to do!” You round on him, eyes swimming with tears brought on by the putrid smell of the mayo. “They’re eggs!” You look so betrayed. Like the goop had personally offended you.
Shane laughs, the obscurity of it all hitting him. “Nah babe. Anything that comes out of chicken that looks like Sebastian should not be eaten by humans.”
“The aesthetic though-” You pout. You come to stand by him to clear your senses. Shane chuckles and pulls you close. He kisses your face, chasing away your frown until you were giggling against him.
“It does look pretty cool.” He agrees, rubbing your shoulder soothingly. “Maybe someone out there will buy it? Lewis has connections everywhere.” You huff but nod all the same. Taking a moment to run the jar back to your storage shed you return ready to eat a regular boring cheese board. Shane grins and nods along with your little mutters of betrayal and “no extra corn for them”. A lie but heat of moment ranting did that to you.
“How much did you make anyway?” He asks once you two settle into your breakfast nook. You go still, eyes darting everywhere else but at him. “Babe-” You flush, shoving a large piece of melon in your mouth instead of answering. Oh no.
Shooting him an apologetic look you swallow. “I-I might need help cleaning out all the mayo machines today.”
You are damn lucky he loves you.
