I honestly need to get hair cut it's has been four years since the latest but I have been so incisive lately so I can't choose what would look good on me 🥲. The last cut I had was some short curtain bangs or some type of wolfcut idk, I want to get out there this time and try something different something more alt/masc.
Been considered this long curly shag ( I think that's the name of the haircut not sure?) as mentioned above I haven't been to a salon in a while, so my hair is very long, I'm not planning to cut it all off yet , might change if my, severely traditional father let's me.
because i’m out of ideas, I don’t know how to put this into a wonderful conversation where I can bawl into tears because of my own scrambled schedule and imbalance between my studies and other things, and fuck my stupid grammar right now. so fuck that shit.
anyways.
NMAT date: 03/25/2018
holy shit that’s... weeks away and i’m so not prepared at all. kinda am prepared but it’s a matter of reviewing topics and to strengthen my stock knowledge in certain areas that I’m already familiar with. This week, I already did some math practice, some biology and chemistry reviews, but the problem lies within balancing it with my wavering sleep schedule, my chores (or the chores where people don’t wanna do it but I have to because i’m only one who’s here at home alone and, therefore, I have no excuse not to do them), my impeccable loneliness and.. just small ball of motivation that’s been flattened so many times that I need to buy a new ball. randomest figure of speech but what the fucking ever. who fucking cares. everyone is gushing about a new season and i’m stuck here. with this shit.
Today (or tonight eh), I’ll go through:
1. Social Sciences review (highlight shit, and go over it a couple of times)
2. Physics review (highlight shit, take note of the important topics and correlate formulas through each topic).
and if I’m lucky
3. Math problems (re-do the mock test once without prior tips and ticks and then do it again but with the said tips and tricks)
Tomorrow and Sunday would be my third and fourth review sessions so hopefully I get to do these in between:
1. Math problems again (but with a different set)
2. Biology: cellular respiration (cross reference with my old notes), botany (cross reference with my notes; specifically its hormones, and a bit of the key parts, and maybe even photosynthesis if i’m lucky)
3. Chemistry: inorganic (STOICHIOMETRY PLEASE REVIEW AGAIN; gas laws and intramolecular forces) and organic (reactions and what not)
And my minibang?
uhm. idk. *shrugs*. I really don’t know. yet
target word count should be: 1-3k already soo
a little bit sad... that everyone I know is already in med school and i’m still... here. have no idea where i’m going at all. To be honest, I’m not excited for the new season. not because of the season but just this in general. and myself. so yea. hopefully I get to end this shit with a bang.
I don't have a crush on anyone but I want to so badly. I can't seem to find or open myself up to anyone near me. I keep telling myself that one day I'll be happy and find someone right for me. Chelsea Wolfe is my celeb crush for sure tho.
I know what you mean, I wrote this thought a little while ago:
“What an odd thing it is to feel alone. In a world with so many people and so many ways to reach each other, you can still feel alone. It feels almost tragic to carry such a burden, but a burden only to you. Everyone wants to feel needed and together, not by many, but just a few. To feel grounded to the world and special to someone is a struggle. Am I really not needed? Am I misguided or broken in heart and brain. Self worth is difficult and a stranger it seems. To value yourself as you value another is heavy and harder than it should be.“
It tough to want to be wanted and want to be close to someone when there is no one around. Or even to be into someone but they don’t feel the same. I have a tough time too. Somedays are better than others but the thoughts really weigh me down sometimes. Its difficult to open up to people and feel vulnerable or to like someone more than they like you. I hope that if you keep taking the risk and letting yourself feel vulnerable the pay off will be worth all that was before. I wish you all the best and lots of love. Be free. Be kind. Be strong. Stay lovely❤️.
EQUALITY ISNT SAYING WERE ALL HUMANS AND WE SHOULD ALL BE ONE!! EQUALITY IS WHEN EVERYONE CAN EMBRACE THEIR OWN CULTURE AND EVERYONE ELSE RESPECTING THAT BECAUSE WETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT. WERE ALL VERY DIFFERENT AND WE SHOULD BE EMBRACING IT NOT TEARING DOWN THOSE WALLS THAT MAKE US UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS.
tbh i never wore makeup through high school so ive never worn makeup in my life and i missed that awkward crayola-raccoon phase in jr high and i don't want to go through that NOW but i lit have no clue how to do anything with makeup so im kind of stuck for the rest of my life as a plain jane and i feel so bad for my future hypothetical kid bc if they want to wear makeup i'll be about as helpful as a salmon trying to cut down a tree
