Mar 17, 2019
A Burrito of Experience
Sleeping Fiancee: “Hello. I’m a burrito of experience.”
Me: “What does that mean?”
SF: *shrugs*
seen from Denmark
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Denmark
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from Morocco
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from Morocco
seen from United States
A Burrito of Experience
Sleeping Fiancee: “Hello. I’m a burrito of experience.”
Me: “What does that mean?”
SF: *shrugs*
Life and blog title update
Sleeping Fiancée: “Did you see the couches?”
Me: “What couches?”
SF: “The sofas.”
Me: “Which ones?”
SF: “The couches raise up. They’re floating there with the bugs. The bed bugs that come at night. But then the snow comes and makes them go away.”
Me: “Is that so?”
SF: “Nuh uh. But people think that.”
Keeping Things Going
Sleeping Girlfriend: [abruptly begins clapping] Me: What's up? SGF: I'm clapping for you. Me: For what? SGF: Keeping things going. #KeepingThingsGoing
Hand Walls
SGF: “There are walls in my hands." Me: “What kind of walls?" SGF: “They’re not real." Me: “How’d they get there?” SGF: “…”
The Same Thing as One
Sleeping Girlfriend: “Are you with Enterprise, or are you an M&M?” Me: “What?” SGF: “Are you The Enterprise, or with M&M?” Me: “Why?” SGF: “Because you can’t be both the same thing as one.” Me: “Is that so?” SGF: “I have a headache.” Me: “Do you need to take something for it?” SGF: “...”
Don't Tell Me
Me: "What time do you have to get up?" Sleeping Girlfriend: "I know." M: "You know what?" SGF: "Wait, wait, don't tell me, I know!" M: "You know what?" SGF: "Everything?"
You’re Supposed to Let It Sit
Me: “What time do you have to get up?”
Sleeping Girlfriend: “Wait...what am I doing now?”
Me: “You’re telling me when you have to get-”
SGF: “I get that, but...am I just awake now?”
Me: “I...think so?”
SGF: “So I can take it off whenever I want?”
Me: “Absolutely.”
SGF: “Oh...ok.”
Me: “So are you leaving it on or taking it off?”
SGF: “Well you’re supposed to let it sit.”
Me: “For how long?”
SGF: “...For forever.”
People
SGF: "I just want to make sure that we have the right names, you know? When we talk about the people and people we talk about have people they're talking about." Me: "And why's-" SGF: "People." M: "and why's that?" SGF: "Habit."