#shrikechirps

[valleyshrike]

Musing About Mutuals (a silly appreciation post)

My common-law mutual You know, I keep forgetting I kind of have *four* mutuals and not three.

Allow me to explain.

There is a blog I follow. It is technically a sideblog, but it’s much more active than this person’s main blog. This blog does not follow me back.

This person follows me on their main blog, which doesn’t post very much so I don’t follow it.

The names and pfp of the sideblog and main blog are completely different.

It took weeks for me to make the connection. Someone else I follow got an ask from main blog, and side blog reblogged their answer with an explanation that they’re the same person, and I was like “wait. hold on a minute.”

So yeah we’re basically mutuals but don’t show up as mutuals on tumblr. I suppose we’re common-law mutuals!

When @mandragora-metalloidal doesn’t follow you back for a month

Dude. We live in the same apartment. I have known you my whole life. I’m good enough to get first access to all your writing but not good enough to be followed back for a month? I’m just out here, reblogging your writing, and everyone’s like “why is Shrike reblogging this random poetry blog. Oh the Masterpost says they’re siblings, aww how sweet! Surely they must be mutuals that talk all the time!” Well we do talk all the time, in fact we started sending each other stuff on Tumblr in dms. YOU DM ME BUT YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO FOLLOW ME BACK FOR A MONTH. HOW COULD YOU ABANDON ME LIKE THIS. (TOT)

At least we’re mutuals now. I *guess*.

(For everyone else reading this: this whole passage is a joke. There are no hard feelings. Also she’s not a vsmp or phm fan so it’s not like she’s keeping up with my posts or anything, she didn’t have a reason to follow me. I just thought it was funny that she didn’t bother to follow me back for ages. Finally her writing is really good and y’all should check it out!)

A very weird coincidence

so my username is ValleyShrike. It’s the same as my AO3, which was made first.

Why ValleyShrike? One reason for each word. “Valley” because the first thing I was planning to post was a Stardew Valley fic! (It never got posted. I lost motivation. I’m sorry.) “Shrike” because I like shrikes. I think they’re cool and kinda badass. I’m also a big fan of crows, but I decided I wanted to be named Shrike. I want to come across as cute and unassuming until I start posting angst. Mwahaha.

Anyways, as soon as I got my very first mutual (iirc I followed them first then they followed back a couple days later) they sent me an ask about my name!

So, has anyone ever heard of the poem “The Shrike” by Sylvia Plath? It’s good. Y’all should read it. It’s where my mutual got their username from.

It is not where I got mine from. Pure coincidence. I hadn’t even heard of the poem before I was asked if my username was inspired by it. Kinda wild how things lined up like that.

I got a cool poem out of it, which is nice.

Mutual (hehe) internet stalking

I’m curious about what sort of people like my stuff. When I see that a new account’s given me a like, I’ll often go look at their blog.

One time, I got a like from someone new while browsing Tumblr, and went to check the blog out.

To my delight, this person was posting stuff I really liked! I stated tossing out likes and grabbing a couple posts to reblog.

More notifications. I look and they’ve been liking and reblogging more of my stuff.

I kept scrolling through their posts, dredging up posts from the past to slap likes onto and display on my blog as reblogs.

More notifications. Likes and reblogs on my posts from several days before.

I decide I like this blog enough to follow them.

Now, I don’t actually remember who followed who first. I don’t know if I followed in response to their follow or if I made the first move. What I do remember though, is that we became mutuals within two minutes of the first person hitting the follow button.

It’s so much fun when someone has the exact same idea as you at the exact same time.

Monikers

*ahem.*

I bestow the title of “lovely mutual” to my very first mutual, @that-truant-heart. May we smack that blue thing with hammers together.

I bestow the title of “dear mutual” to my second mutual, @indigodreams109. Please keep sending me those tag games, I adore them.

I bestow the title of “fuckass mutual” to my third mutual, @mandragora-metalloidal. You should start posting Jheap soon. Do it. Doitdoitdoit.

Finally, I bestow the title of “common-law mutual” to my unofficial mutual, @thesquirreloverlord / @lightblueglazedterracotta. You have excellent ideas and impeccable taste in reblogs.

May we continue to have good times together!

Follower shoutout!

Did you think I’d forgotten about you guys? No way. Get perceived.

I am picky with who I follow! Some people who follow me have blogs that aren’t to my personal taste. Though I may not follow them back, they hold a special place in my heart.

@lovelyrose20 I adore your lovesick AU! I’ve had the oneshot you’ve posted in my backlog for a while and I keep meaning to look at it. I’m taking a bit of a break from vsmp AO3 but I honestly might make an exception for it.

@i-will-eat-your-lawn I know a bit less about you but you are indeed a cutie patutie.

That’s all, folks!

[valleyshrike]

*Eye twitch*

Pantheon hasn’t even started yet. PANTHEON HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET. HOW IS THERE ALREADY DISCOURSE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Why is mcyt Like This…

Well. Time to hit the books and figure out wtf is happening.

Sigh.

[valleyshrike]

NOT AGAIN IT’S BEEN LESS THAN A FUCKING MONTH

I do want to clarify it is uhhh much much less bad this time. Like this is nowhere near what we all learned about in June 7th. Not anywhere fucking close.

It still… doesn’t seem great?

This is First Impressions ValleyShrike speaking. I do not have all the context and I may be wrong about stuff. I will be back once I’ve figured out exactly what the deal is.

[valleyshrike]

Hi y’all, today I learned that Google Docs scrapes your private documents for AI.

Well, it doesn’t seem like anyone’s sure that they’re doing that, but I’d prefer not to take that risk.

Anyone got any recommendations for other writing platforms I can use?

[valleyshrike]

Hey Shrike!

pantheon’s coming out soon. Whose POV are you planning on watching?

Hi Indigo! 👋 

Definitely Owen’s POV, I love his style of storytelling, and the little face animations he does are SO GOOD. I rally hope he does those again! 

I do suspect his character will be an unreliable narrator again, though, so I’ll definitely watch someone else as well. Pearl might be interesting since she’s supposedly an antagonist, or I might go for Abolish to get a less biased view of what’s going on. 

The big issue is: I’ve only watched Vampires! I don’t fully know what is a cc’s storytelling style versus something specific to their vsmp character! Thus, it’s hard to say who I’ll choose to follow until Pantheon actually  releases. Like, I might like Apokuna’s storytelling, or I might just really like V!Apo. I don’t know.

So, definitely Owen, maybe Pearl or Abolish, and probably someone else completely out of left field. We’ll see!

(I’m already feeling a lil overwhelmed with 12 POVs to catch up on later… I haven’t finished Vampires yet! I need more time! 😭)

[valleyshrike]

What’s up y’all I am having a terrible day so you get this

I dunno. It’s like half creative writing and half a deeply personal vent. Please proceed with caution I do NOT want to spread bad days around! If you’re not in a good mindset click away!

Oh and before I get worried Internet strangers piling into my askbox: I am not going to do anything stupid. My mental well-being does not hinge on the response I get to this. I will be fine and nobody’s obligated to reach out to me (but I’m happy to talk if *you* want to!). Honestly, just writing this all out made me feel a lot better already so don’t worry about me too much! I’m a big girl and I can handle my feelings by myself!

Anyways if you do want to see, it’s under the readmore.

Your years aren’t being counted yet. Voices echo through skin and muscle and fluid to reach your half-formed ears. This womb is crowded, someone is kicking you through the sac. Even here, you are not alone.

You are two, or perhaps three years old? You have your mommy and daddy and your sister who’s your best friend, and your Halmoni and Halabugi are visiting. Halabugi puts you in a toy stroller, made for dolls not people, and breaks it.

You are five years old and you have a cousin now. You get to hold him for a second but he’s really heavy so your aunt (mommy’s little sister) takes him back pretty fast.

You are seven and at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. They have cats and you like the cats but the cats run away from you because they don’t like you. You’re also allergic so you get hives if you touch them too much. They have a fire pit and you love watching it and (with supervision) putting in balled-up napkins and old newspapers to burn. Your uncle (daddy’s big brother) and your aunt (his wife) are there too.

You don’t remember how old you are when you stop visiting Grandma and Grandpa and your uncle and aunt as much.

You are nine and you love love love everything cats and finally you have kittens of your own! You used to be allergic but you did desensitization and now you’re not, and the shots really hurt but it was worth it because you have cats! They’re so cute and fun and they’re a perfect addition to your family.

You are eleven and eating dumplings with your sister at Halmoni and Halabugi’s house. Halmoni made them, your mom’s the best cook but Halmoni’s the best at making Korean food. They’re delicious. You got to sleep over at their house, and they don’t have much interesting stuff but you and your sister have fun anyways. You poke around the vegetable garden and make up games with the pieces of a game you don’t know how to play.

You are thirteen and your friend group is breaking up. You won’t talk to them once you’re in high school and that’s probably for the best. There’s no bad blood (as far as you know), it’s just not working. (Maybe it’s because you’re the youngest. You’ve always been a little more immature than the rest of them.)

You are thirteen, or maybe fourteen, and Halabugi is teaching you to fish. You have a line with two hooks and you cast it out and reel in two fish! His English isn’t so good but you still find ways to connect.

You are fifteen and you have lots of new friends, and your lunch breaks are full of chatting and laughter.

You are sixteen or maybe seventeen, and your uncle (your father’s older brother) is teaching you how to hunt for mushrooms. Your family’s reached out to him again, now he’s over for Thanksgiving or Christmas sometimes, or he’ll visit other the times during the year. You still don’t see your paternal grandparents.

You are seventeen and listening to the stories Halmoni tells you about growing up in Korea.

You are seventeen and away from home. You find friends at university and you make sure to be early to your classes but it’s still scary and you miss your parents. You come home on the weekends for a while until you get used to it. (Of course, your sister’s there. She’s always there.)

You are eighteen and your cousin is thirteen and you’re a little worried about how he’s turning out. He seems spoiled, and it’s not so bad now, but if he keeps that attitude it won’t go well when he’s older. There’s not much that you can do. (Your aunt was always a bit of a pushover, at least that’s what your mom says.)

You are eighteen and now your uncle’s over every Tuesday. You’re happy to see him.

You’re eighteen, or maybe nineteen, and your grandpa is dead. Nobody in your family is surprised, his health was pretty bad. Nobody’s that upset either. Your dad and your uncle had a lot of resentment towards him. You have one memory of him laughing. You don’t know him well enough to miss him.

You are nineteen and you don’t talk to your mom’s side of the family anymore. Your mom had been fighting with them for a while before that, though. You learn that she was the scapegoat of the family. You learn that the people you know are not the ones she knows. (You don’t see your cousin again.)

You are nineteen and you and your father are driving two hours to go look for morels. You’ve never found any, but you like the hike and you’ve found lots of dryad’s saddle there and you like the conversations you have on the drive.

You are nineteen and you don’t like going back to your childhood home. The yelling and fights aren’t new but it’s gotten worse lately, or maybe you’re just getting sick of it, and it happens more when you’re there so really it’s a favour for everyone if you stay away. You don’t understand why your parents want to see you, well you do, but it doesn’t seem worth it.

You are twenty and see Grandma again for the first time in a long time. She brings you her homemade jam. It’s nice to see her again, and you don’t remember her that well but you still care. Your family has her over for Thanksgiving that year.

You are twenty and you’ve fallen out of touch with most people you met in university. You still talk to your high school friends, though.

You are twenty-one and start posting on Tumblr. At first no one notices you, but slowly more people start seeing your posts. It’s fun! It’s fun to see what ideas people come up with and it’s fun to take inspiration from them and post your own ideas. Nobody else you know is in these fandoms so you didn’t have anyone to talk about it with before. Now you do!

You are twenty-one and your parents are splitting up. You’re not the least bit surprised, nor are you upset. It’s better this way.

You are twenty-one and now you’re upset. The split isn’t amicable like you’d hoped. (It’s your father’s fault. It’s always been his fault, but it took you until you were sixteen to see it, until you were nineteen to admit it to yourself, and until you were twenty to say it out loud.)

You are twenty-one and you hear that one of your cats is acting weird. He’s always been very dependent on humans and he’s struggling now that nobody’s getting along. His brother’s doing fine but he’s not. You wish you could comfort him somehow but you’re an hour drive away and you don’t want to go to that house.

You are twenty-one and your mom calls you crying, again and again. (There’s two sides to every story, he says. What he forgets is that you were witness to it all. You make decisions based on what you’ve seen, not what you’ve been told, and your eyes don’t weigh the scales in his favour.)

You are twenty-one and you’re not sure if you’ll see your uncle or your grandma again. You’re not sure if you want to see your father.

You are twenty-one and you don’t talk to your friends anymore. You just didn’t have the energy to reach out.

You are twenty-one and going to a new university soon. Your sister is staying here. It’s over two hours of travel.

You are twenty-one and you just want to hide. 

You are twenty-one and you don’t say anything, not because there’s nothing to say, but because there’s no one to say it to.

You are twenty-one and you’re pouring out your soul on the internet because why the fuck not. You have to get this shit out of your head, may as well hand it over to Tumblr. Maybe someone will find it relatable.

You are twenty-one and you’re so tired.

You are twenty-one, and you don’t want to be alone.

[valleyshrike]

WHY do they have to put the unfollow button RIGHT THERE man??? I keep accidentally unfollowing people and then having to go search them up to follow again. It’s annoying. :/

So yeah if I ever unfollow you and then follow again within like a minute that’s what happened lmao. My stubby little thumbs misclicked when I was trying to view your blog.

[valleyshrike]

Hi y’all, small announcement.

I’m taking a bit of a break from the VSMP AO3.

It’s not actually related to the discourse. I tend to go through phases for a fandom where at first I’ll voraciously devour fanfiction, and then I’ll take a break from fics for a bit and come back later. I think I’ve hit my ‘saturation point’ for vsmp, so to speak, and right now reading through fics feels more like a chore or an obligation. I’ve learned it’s not a good idea to try to push through that, and I’d like to spend my free time doing something I enjoy. It also doesn’t seem fair to the authors to go through their works when I’m not able to properly appreciate them.

I will still be sticking around and reblogging vsmp stuff on Tumblr! I *may* also occasionally pop into AO3 to check on certain fics, but no promises.

I’m not putting a hard timeline on it, but I’ll probably resume reading stuff in earnest in a month or two.

To everyone I’ve been a semi-regular commenter for, I still love your works! I’ll be back someday I’m not abandoning you! (I know at least one of you looks at my blog… I feel a bit bad for the others tho.)

Thanks for listening!