Hazard to Society
Fandom: SHINee
Sickie: Taemin, Onew (flu)
Caregiver(s): Minho, Key
Word Count: 1,468
Notes: Takes place in a timeline where Onew and Minho still live together. There is a little hint to How Much Do You Love Me? hidden in here.
Minho opened the door and immediately snorted. “What the fuck are you wearing?”
Kibum scowled, or at least Minho assumed he had behind the hospital-grade mask and safety goggles he wore. “I’m not taking any chances.” His gloved hands found his hips.
Minho blinked at the get up. “You’re gonna make Taemin cry.”
“This isn’t for Taemin.”
Minho’s eyes widened. “You want to make Jinki cry?”
Kibum shook his head. “Not for him either.”
Minho’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m the HEALTHY one!”
“You’ve been in this apartment with a very contagious Taemin for over 48 hours. I don’t trust you.” Minho rolled his eyes, muttering about ‘over kill in the drama queen department’ as he waved Kibum into the apartment. Kibum followed, choosing to ignore Minho’s jibes. The apartment looked clean enough, namely the kitchen which was free of dirty dishes. A feat, in Kibum’s book. Maybe Minho had this whole caretaker thing down better than he expected.
“You wanna see the invalids?” Minho asked, stopping in the living room, where Kibum met him after slipping off his shoes and coat. “Or you wanna wait for them to come to us? It’s been about…” he consulted his watch, “an hour since I’ve seen Taem, so you have anywhere from 20 minutes to another hour before he reappears. You will not see Jinki without direct intervention.”
“Sounds about right.” Kibum shrugged. “Yeah, show me the damage.” Minho nodded towards the hall and the first door on the left.
“Look at them,” Minho cooed quietly, pushing the door open just enough so Kibum could peek inside. Jinki was nothing more than a blanket lump hidden behind a whole Taemin, who held Jinki’s arms to his chest, as if the youngest were the one who wrapped those arms around him in the first place. And it was fully possible that he had. A humidifier was running next to the bed, and Kibum noted a white noise machine in the far corner as well. While there were three mismatched socks, one of Minho’s sweaters, and two empty plastic water bottles strewn on the floor, the room was otherwise clean. Sure, the nightstand was crowded with all the usual flu survival shit, but overall, Kibum was impressed.
“I gotta hand it to you, Minnie. You’re nailing this nurse shit,” Kibum marveled as Minho quietly clicked the door closed.
The rapper beamed. “That might just be the nicest thing you ever said to me.”
“Truly, the white noise might be the most genius move possible.” Kibum slid out one of the chairs at the kitchen table as Minho turned on the kettle.
“Oh, I’m so mad we never thought of it before.” Minho settled back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. “It has significantly improved Taemin inactivity hours. Would’ve saved us a lot of trouble during the outbreak of 2014.”
“Are we ever going to stop talking about him like a science experiment?”
“Hopefully not.”
Just as Kibum snorted out a laugh, mouth open to respond, they heard a suspicious banging sound from down the hall, followed by a panicked, “HELP! MINHO! HELP!”
Minho dashed down the hall, Kibum on his heels, and threw the bedroom door open. He gasped involuntarily, and heard Kibum actually screech behind him. On the bed, a panicked Jinki was barely holding onto Taemin, the maknae shaking and sobbing, suspended more than halfway off the edge of the bed, a puddle of vomit on the floor beneath him.
“I got Taem,” Minho directed, striding towards the bed and gathering the sobbing youngest into his arms. He made eye contact with Kibum on his way out. “Help Onew-man.” Kibum nodded, shifting to the side to let Minho through.
“What happened?” Kibum asked as he rushed forward, careful to not even look at the floor.
“I… I don’t know,” Jinki sighed, pressing at his eyes. His voice was wrecked, scratchy and uneven in a way that shattered Kibum’s heart to hear. “I woke up cause he kicked back super hard, and then his body just went rigid, and he started throwing up. I barely caught him from falling off the bed.”
“And I’m so glad you did. Now come on.” Kibum held out both hands. “Let’s get you out of here so we can deal with… all this.”
Jinki nodded, taking Kibum’s hands as he climbed carefully out of the bed. Kibum hated how much the leader’s legs wobbled as he was led from the room. He hated how, even without true contact because of the gloves, Kibum could still tell that Jinki was absolutely on fire, his cheeks flushed a deep scarlet while his entire body shook like a leaf. Kibum hated seeing his brothers so fucking unwell, when there was nothing he could do but help them ride it out.
As Kibum gently pushed Jinki onto the couch, the leader refused to let go of his hands. “Are you wearing rubber gloves?” His fingers roamed over the material, entire face furrowed in confusion.
“Yeah,” Kibum admitted. “I um… part of it was the germaphobe thing, but it was mostly a dig at Minho.”
“Oh. Did he laugh?”
Kibum snorted, pulling one hand away so he could ruffle Jinki’s hair. Damn him for being so earnest. “Sure, hyung.”
As if called, Minho leaned around the corner of the hall. “Ki, do you want to go sit with Taemin and I can clean up hyung’s room?”
“I can…”
“You are not helping,” Minho cut Jinki off as Kibum pushed him back onto the couch, where he’d tried to stand up. “Remember how you collapsed last night when you tried to get up?”
“No?”
“Actually, that’s on me. There was no way you were gonna remember that.” Minho shook his head. “Either way, you’re staying right there, sir. Kibum, last call. Taemin has not thrown up a second time, but he needs attention, if that changes things.”
“I’ll go with Taem.” Minho and Kibum nodded at one another before setting off to their separate tasks. After two steps, Kibum doubled back, snagging the blanket from the arm chair and draping it over his visibly shivering Jinki. He blew the leader a kiss before rushing off down the hall.
When he walked into the bathroom, Kibum found Taemin draped against the closed toilet lid, head resting on one arm while the other blocked his eyes from the light.
“How ya feelin’, bud?” Kibum asked, settling onto his knees next to the maknae, and giving his knee a gentle shove with his foot.
“Humiliated,” Taemin groaned. The hand covering his face fell away, revealing ashen pale skin and shadowed eyes.
“What happened?” “I don’t even know!” Taemin whined, shifting so his back was leaning against the tub. Fresh tears welled in his glassy eyes. “I think I had a nightmare? Like, a really bad, vivid one? And then I started hyperventilating and I just… threw up, I guess.”
“You don’t feel nauseous now?”
Taemin shook his head. “Didn’t before either.” He swallowed hard, the action prompting a cough that Kibum tried not to flinch at. “Is Jinki mad at me?”
“Are you fucking kidding?” Kibum replied.
Taemin snapped sincerely worried eyes up at him. “Well I just projectile vomited in his room, so…”
“He couldn’t care less about that, Taem. He cares more about you.”
“Besides, I’ve already puked all over his floor.” Both men turned to see Minho leaning in the doorway. “This isn’t even new territory for him. Or that floor.”
“When the hell did that happen?” Kibum asked.
Minho shrugged. “Last year?”
“You are a hazard to society.”
Taemin gave the tiniest of giggles, a smile breaking on his lips. Kibum and Minho shared a meaningful glance, smiles threatening on both of them as well. “We’re all kind of a hazard to society, huh?” the maknae asked.
“Sure are, bud.” Kibum reached forward, ruffling Taemin’s hair.
Taemin frowned, reaching for Kibum’s hand. “What’s with the gloves? I thought Minho was the one cleaning up?”
Minho snorted as Kibum felt his cheeks flare in embarrassment. “Yeah, I um…”
“Tell him the truth, Ki.”
“Minho,” Kibum growled. Taemin’s eyes were ping-ponging back and forth.
“Look at him. He’s so sick and sad. You can’t deceive him.”
Kibum’s eyes were pure fire. “I wore them so when I kill Minho, they won’t find any fingerprints.” Minho, for his part, cackled, disappearing back down the hall and loudly repeating the story for Jinki’s benefit. Taemin laughed too, seemingly amused. Kibum’s eyes sparkled. “Come on, bud. Let’s get out to the couch. Much more comfortable than in here.”
“I love you, hyung,” Taemin muttered as he was pulled to his feet, nearly collapsing against Kibum.
“I love you more. Always have, always will.”