#sidewei

[cheion-writes]

For Keith and Chen, @echoise

For Basil and Chen, @handern

For Dima and Chen, @tinta--branca

[nhasachquan]

m!sidestep/steel (smut)

ao3 link

You don’t waste time with idle chat, Chen is not one for it and you are too horny to care at this point. So you kiss and stumble backwards, thighs bumping against table on your way there. It will leave a bruise but you don’t mind. Bruises is nothing.

You fell down to the soft mattress, your belt lost somewhere on the floor, along with Chen’s shirt. His skin is warm under your fingertips, the lines of scars bumping, sending electricity, lightning your senses. His breathing is hard and fast on your face. He can’t wait. You can’t wait.

The clothes comes off with struggle, he practically tears yours off. The man is impatient, if you haven’t given him the lube, you suspect he would just go like that. Who cares about the pain? Just pleasure. Just the need to get off. Just to fuck.

He is heavy on top of you and it’s perfect. He is trying to take control and it’s fruitless.

He sinks down and you both groan out loud. Too much. Everything suddenly becomes too much. And Chen is not waiting for that too much to past. Too much is never enough. He is already moving. His face contorts in pain. He is struggling to remain in control.

But he can’t. Because he is not in control. You pull his head down, reminding him of that fact. And you calm him down, fingers stroking his sweaty back. Like calming down a big stallion.

“You are not enjoying this.” You says to him and glance down to look at his flaccid cock in between you.

Chen grunts, pulling your attention back to his mouth, fingers digging into your shoulders, leaving bruises, marking skin. “Shut up. I’m old.” He says between kisses. “I don’t need to get hard to enjoy this.”

“It’s hurting you.” You says again, letting his tongue dominate yours as he rides you with force that’s hurting the both of you.

“Shut up.” And you understand, because sometimes, you need to feel pain too. To feel real, alive. But the difference between you two is, he is actually alive. You are just operating. Or is that how Chen feels too? Can he even tells where skin begins and metal ends on his body? Is that what makes him feels like a machine rather than a human being? Is that why he is out, looking for someone to take to a cheap motel, to kiss, to fuck?

It’s *the* night, too.

Is it for Anathema? Or can it be for you? Such stupid thought, of course it is not for you.

“You are tight.” That is an understatement. You know somewhere in between, Chen is already bleeding down there. This is bad, the situation is dire but this is what he wants. Who are you to stop him?

“Shut up.” He might hit you. Would that be nice? Is that what you want?

“Li.” You almost pat yourself on the back. When Chen’s scent is all around you, intoxicating you, suffocating you, you still manage to remember his fake name. What is the point of lying though? The moment he takes off his clothes, his secrets are out. So why bother? Is he testing you? Does he know? That you are actually the kid Ortega brought to the Gala? Is that why he is here, to tell you off? Ah, good old time.

“What?” He is close, you are close too. And when you roll your bodies, he is caught off guard. His instinct kicks in and he swings, would have hit you had you not leaned away. You chuckle and take hold of his wrists, pushing them up on top of his head, holding them down and trapping him there. He is letting you. Wei Chen is relinquishing control. Has he grown too tired of being in charge all the time? Or this is just how he has always been? Interesting nonetheless.

His mouth tastes like yours now. It’s nothing new anymore yet, you can’t stop.

Relief pushes in like waves, hitting hard and washing away everything, leaving your mind white and blind.

“What is your plan?” Chen asks while you are still coming down from the ecstasy. His voice is rough, hoarse.

You push yourself of him, reaching for the pack of cigarette that has been stomped over. Luckily, it’s still usable. You light it up and take a drag. Chen is still watching you. Of course he knows you are that kid.

“Nothing.” You shrug. Which is a half lie, half truth. You didn’t plan for tonight and no, you have never a spontaneous man. Maybe it’s because you have been staying inside Eden for too long, it’s bleeding over. But when you saw Chen sitting at the bar, head hung low, drink in hand, you couldn’t help it. It was dumb, really. Though, you don’t regret it.

“Bullshit.”

You don’t say anything else, just pull another drag of cigarette before putting it on Chen’s lips. He takes it and let you roll him to his side, there is a red spot there, not big and you know there is some too on the condom.

“Don-“ But before he can finish, you have already dropped down, thumbs carefully pushing in and spreading it out. Sure enough, you spot the tear.

“I’ll go buy something for that.” You tell him and let go of the older man. He is flustered but he hides it well. Ever the cautious man. You don’t care though, because you know, once you are out of this door, he won’t be here when you come back.

Doesn’t matter. Nothing is. Not even your aching heart.

“It’s a sad day.” You hear him whisper when you close the door.

Sad day indeed.

[teamcorvid]

The inevitable Heraldkiss and it's close cousin BST-wise

[cheion-writes]

Steelstep ♟

What if we ruin it all, and we love like fools?

And all we have we lose?

And I don't want you to go but I want you so

So tell me what we choose

[cheion-writes]

" I can't breathe." maybe steelstep?

SideWei it is! I’m on an angst roll today.

TW: Character death.

“I can’t breathe.”

It’s the only thought that fills your mind as you cradle a hand around your broken ribs. Your chest burns with an intense fire and you cough wetly, a thick liquid filling the insides of your helmet. A pained groan hisses through your clenched teeth. The Rat-King chitters worriedly, curling protectively around your mind, but it’s too little, too late.

You hear footsteps sound beside you but you can’t summon the strength to move.

“It’s over.”

A familiar voice. It’s sad. Resigned. Devoid of the warmth and concern you’d come to know in those small, intimate moments, devoid of the unwavering protectiveness that had once showered you in its embrace. You feel like crying but you have no more tears left to shed.

“I’m sorry it has to end like this.”

The voice continues to speak, words laced with regret. You know it speaks the truth. He didn’t mean to get carried away. He didn’t mean to let you fall (again). He didn’t mean it, but here you are regardless, broken and bleeding on the ground, your body a shattered mess even though your helmet remains miraculously intact.

You try to choke out a reply; I didn’t mean to as well, I swear I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. it was an accident and I’m so, so sorry but all that comes out is another weak cough. You vision blanks out for a long moment; it won’t be long now.

“I’ll take off your mask so you can breathe easier, alright?” he asks quietly. A sob rises in your throat. You don’t want him to. You don’t want him to see.

It’s a startling revelation. 

Because wasn’t this what you’ve always wanted? To be stopped? To have it all end? To let them feel the same pain you had been forced to endure through no fault of your own? To smirk and gloat once they find out the truth?

But…no.

You don’t.

It all changed because you never were supposed to fall for him; he never was supposed to feel the same for you.

Through your dimming senses, you feel his hands curl around your helmet. You feel him give a sharp tug. Then all of a sudden your face is exposed to the cool evening air, the breeze a gentle touch upon your cheek.

Through your muffled ears, you hear the gasp, the thunk of the heavy metal as the helmet falls to the ground. You feel him fall to his knees, feel his fingers brush against your forehead.

“No. No no no.”

It’s a strangled mantra, words spoken in desperate disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. It’s a harsh, broken sound.

You feel his hands around you, tiny droplets splashing against your cheek. When you open your bleary eyes, you find yourself gazing into the despairing eyes of the raven-haired man you’d come to know and love, the stoic soldier who’d somehow found his way into your heart.

It’s the last thing you ever see.

[cheion-writes]

Smiles

How Steel tries to make Sidestep smile, or how Steel realizes he is slowly falling deeply in love.

Steel/Sidestep. Steel!POV. Spoilers!

No angst – not this time. Yep, I decided to stop being an ass to Steel. For now.

Thanks @auroriane for beta-reading! :)

----

0.

Seven years ago, they fell.

You never see them again.

Then one day, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, they reappear. And when you realize just how shattered they feel, you find that nothing's right in your world.

1.

They're a wreck, eyes dark-rimmed and exhausted. They're looking at the dogs, expression far away, stance hunched, small and vulnerable in a way you've never seen them before.

Fear. Misery. Desperation. Pain.

Spoon whines; he too senses something is wrong. You pace forward hesitantly, expecting them to react and shy away from you but they remain frozen; it's never happened before.

You don't know why that makes your heart clench painfully.

So, you reach out for them. Maybe you're worried. Maybe it's just the guilt. Or maybe it's something more.

They turn to you and you see their eyes... eyes so haunted it makes them look much older than they really are.

Your heart tightens.

Then, loving, tender-hearted Spoon jumps up and licks their face, yipping joyfully and covering them in slobber. You see their momentary surprise, the flash of a smile on their face before it's blown away in the wind.

You find yourself wishing to see them smile again.

2.

You meet them one afternoon as you're walking Spoon. He must remember who they are for he barks happily, pulls the leash out of your hands, and dashes forward.

You almost miss the tiny smile on their face at his furiously wagging tail. Their soft laugh as he rolls onto his back and exposes his belly in its full, furry glory.

You find yourself chuckling as they reach out and give him a rub. But when they (reluctantly) disengage and wave goodbye, you see the smile falter and fall.

And you find yourself promising to bring those smiles back again.

3.

One day, they corner you in the Ranger's base. They look particularly miserable; their vulnerability and exhaustion radiate strongly in waves.

Sadness. Despair. Regret. Pain.

What they speak, their words are halting. They ask if you could go to the dog park. If you could bring Spoon.

You don't know why you're disappointed they didn't just ask for you. But still, you barely hesitate before you agree. You don't know the reason why.

By the time you arrive, they're there by the tree. They turn to you and you sense their immediate relief when they spot Spoon.

You watch as they collapse to their knees and envelop him in a hug. Spoon whines, leans in, and nuzzles their cheek. You see the watery smile upon their face, and you find yourself wishing that it was you they chose to hold.

And when you realize with a start that their smile has never reached their eyes before, you find yourself vowing to make them truly smile.

4.

You ask them out one day, if they'd like to walk Spoon with you. Yet, as shocked as you are by your own words, it's more than made up for by the surprise that lights up their face.

Wonder. Gratitude. Relief. Hope.

"I'd like that very much," they say, their tentative smile sending your heart aflutter.

It's the first time you've made them smile. You hope it will not be the last.

5.

You see them more often now. They feel lighter. Less burdened.

On one of your walks (without Spoon), you find them unconsciously drifting closer to you. And as you gently brush your hands against their knuckles and slip your fingers into their own, you see a tiny smile form upon their lips.

But still, it doesn't quite reach their eyes.

6.

You're with them one night, staring off into the ocean. They're sitting beside you; they’re close, so very close.

"Why do you want to be with me?" they ask quietly.

"Because I care about you,” you say.

They smile, though it's a sad, bitter one. "Why do you care for something that isn’t real?"

You interlace your fingers with their own, trying to ignore the brokenness in their voice. "You’re here. You’re real. This is real.”

They pull away. They don’t meet your gaze. “I… you should leave, Chen. Go back to Ortega. Go back to your team.” Their voice is small. Exhausted.

Pain. Despair. Loneliness. Resignation.

Your heart stutters at that. Taking their chin in your hands, you gently turn them to face you. “Why would I when you’re the only one I need?”

You glimpse a flicker of something in their eyes, but as fleeting as the sun on a cold winter’s day, it fades away.

7.

"Wei? Can I ask you something?"

They're at your apartment. Their eyes dart nervously back and forth, their hands fiddling with their sweater. They look worried. Stressed. Afraid.

Is someone after them?

You rise to your feet, the unspoken question on your lips but they shake their head.

"No, I'm fine. it's just..." They take a deep breath and lick their lips. "If... if I'm not really what you think I am... will you still care?"

The question takes you by surprise, but your reply comes easily; the words are heartfelt after all: "I always will."

You hear their sniffle, sense the desperation in their eyes. "Really?"

Hope. Uncertainty. Longing. Fear.

Their wretched voice tears at your heartstrings. Nodding firmly, you place an arm around their shoulder. "Whatever it is... you will always be you. Nothing will change that." Nothing will change how I feel for you.

It makes them smile briefly, though it vanishes all too soon as their growing fear returns.

"Then...there's something I need to show you."

8.

They remove their sweater. They remove their shirt.

And for the first time, you see them for who they really are. You see the secrets they've hidden for all their life.

Your attention is drawn first to the scars – and there are just so many, far too many; oh, just what horrors have they suffered? – before your eyes land on the orange tattoos that mark every inch of their body.

You swallow hard.

You know those colours. You know those designs.

They're... they're a regene.

And finally, everything falls into place. Finally, you understand why they avoided cameras and hospitals like the plague. Why they refused to submit to those background checks. Why they wore layers upon layers in the dreadful heat of the sun... Why they never could bring themself to smile...

You see them begin to tremble at your extended silence.

Self-loathing. Disgust. Pain. Fear.

Swiftly, you step forward and envelop them in a fierce hug, rubbing tiny circles onto their back. "I know how hard this must be for you… but know this: regardless of where you were from, you've the biggest heart I've ever known. You're human in every sense of the term, and don't you dare think otherwise."

You feel them crumple. You feel them wrap their arms tightly around you, tears soaking deep into your thin shirt. You hold them close and refuse to let go; you never will again.

"Thank you," they say hoarsely.

You’d like to think they smiled then, but you can't tell from the tears in your eyes.

9.

"Do you really think this will work?" they whisper. "Sometimes... sometimes I look at you and the only thing I recall are the times you didn't trust me."

Your blood freezes over; you had feared this would happen.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," you reply softly. "Seven years ago, ... I'm sorry for failing to trust you… to save you… to find you."

Your eyes are watering now, but the words continue to tumble forth like a raging river, unimpeded and untamed. "I'm sorry it took me this long to realize how foolish I have been, for never considering why you needed to hide. And… and if staying away is better for you… if this apology is seven years too late-"

Your throat locks up; please, please I don’t want you to leave. But if this is what will help you heal…You choke down the bile and force yourself to continue.

"-then...then I'll let you go."

You lower your gaze, close your eyes, and wait.

...

...

You feel them take your hands into their own. You feel their fingers find you chin. And when you open your eyes, you see their sincere, tear-filled eyes gazing deep into yours.

"It isn't too late," they say. “I’m not going anywhere you can’t follow.”

You choke out a sob. There's so much you wish to say, so much you wish for them to know. You want to tell them they're the most courageous, empathetic and compassionate person you have ever known. You want to thank them for forgiving you, for accepting you, for loving you. You want to promise to never leave them, to be there by their side forevermore.

But in the end, you simply say the three words that matter most, the three words that encompass all that you promise and feel.

"I love you."

And, finally, finally, you see them truly smile.

It's a genuine, beautiful smile, and it's the loveliest thing you've ever seen.

Faith. Hope. Joy. Love.

And finally, at long last, all is right in your world.

[cheion-writes]

Steel: In Soo's last letter to me, he told me that although we couldn't have a future together, he hoped that I'd find someone special. Someone who could do what he couldn't. Someone who could make me happy.

Steel, looking at sidestep: He'll be happy to know that I won't have to continue looking anymore.

------

Sidestep: You may be a man of steel, but you don't have to always pretend that your heart is made of steel too.

------

Steel: For the longest time, I taught myself to be strong. I taught myself not to love again. But for you... I am willing to try.

[cheion-writes]

Trope 2/25: Food

Pairings: @ratastrofiend‘s Marco and Steel

Fandom: Fallen Hero

There's breakfast waiting for him in the morning. It's a simple meal; coffee with a slice of toast. 

Chen doesn't speak of it when Marco settles in the chair beside his own, and neither does Marco ask. 

"I'm not hungry," he wants to say. "I don't have to eat."

But despite the voices in his mind, he finds himself reaching out. His fingers curling around the slice of toast.

Chen watches in silence as he devours the toast in tiny bites, as he sips hesitantly on the coffee. Not a word is said until the plate is clean. Until the cup is drained.

"You finished the toast," he says simply when Marco dusts the crumbs from his lips with a napkin.

"I did."

"And the coffee."

"It would seem so."

Chen laughs at that. The rare smile on his face causes Marco's stomach to do a flip, the flutter in his heart intensifying when Chen leans forward and lays a gently kiss upon his cheek. 

"Thank you," Chen whispers.

A smile graces Marco’s lips as he kisses back. His long arms easily wrapping around the man before him. And as Chen returns the embrace, he finds himself marvelling at just what he’s done to deserve the love of this wonderful man. To glimpse the softer side of this stoic soldier few ever have ever seen before.

"Thank you." Marco murmurs. It’s a soft whisper, words encompassing far more than he can ever bring himself to say.

Chen’s only response is to tighten his arms around him.

Neither of them speak much after that. They know that neither of them are good with emotions and words, but they know it does not matter. Because there's a connection they share that transcends far beyond what telepathy may bring. A bond that lets them see deep into the other's heart.

Because the one they have come to know and love is right there before them, and they know that neither will ever let go.

It’s a thought they both take comfort in as Chen pulls Marco close, as he lays another kiss upon his cheek. In turn, Marco rests his hands on his chest, spindly fingers tracing the ridges where mod meets skin. They remain that way for a long while, neither of them relinquishing their hold on the other. 

And doesn't escape them that their hearts feel far calmer, lighter, and freer than they've ever been when they were once alone.