a/n: thank you @gogolyouwhat for listening to me go on and on about this hehe, also i know this song isn't necessarily about a good breakup, but pls just imagine with me :) i’m also sorry if this is shitty i’m still a bit sleep deprived
genre: angst drabble
credit to @r1kuuw on twitter!!
"I hope you get your ball room floor
Your perfect house with rose red doors
I'm the last thing you'd remember
It's been a long lonely December"
Sigma's grip on the mic stand tightened, his other hand sliding up the cool metal to rest on the microphone itself. He closes his eyes, attempting to steady his voice as he continues.
A new song about a breakup; that's all anybody knows about the song Sigma wrote. Fyodor and Nikolai didn't push the subject after hearing it, surprisingly. Nikolai only nudged Sigma's ribcage, commenting that he must've been quite the ladies man to have such a way with words. Sigma tried to ignore it.
The story of it being about a breakup is only a vague statement Sigma provided anybody and everybody who asked. Everyone assumed it was a breakup from the past, when he was a teen experiencing strong feelings of love for the first time. Sigma never made any motion to correct it; their delusions are better than the truth of the matter.
"I wish I'd known that less is more
But I was passed out on the floor
That's the last thing I remember
It's been a long lonely December"
You watch in the front row with tears in your eyes. It's been at least a year since you had last seen him, and your last moments together were bittersweet. You missed him so much, and even if you're not able to be together, you wanted to see him. You settled with standing in the front row of his show, figuring it wouldn't be good to contact him again.
Your heart aches as you hear the pain in his voice, the sound causing memories of his tear-filled eyes and strained cries. The memory of the night you two had to separate, for the well-being of you both. The conversation had that night had ripped your heart in two; you remember the way his lips trembled as he told you about the demands of his management. And you especially remember the way you both held each other for the last time, a mixed chorus of sobs racking through the air.
"I miss your face
You're in my head
There's so many things that I should have said
A year of suffering, a lesson learned"
Sigma loses himself in the song, remembering your face as if you were standing in front of him. He tries to reach out, but knows it's only a figment of his imagination. He had told you to find happiness and move on, and in his mind, that's exactly what you did. But, he regrets every word he uttered that night. If only he could do more to protect you, the one he considered his home.
He missed the warmth of your hugs, and the way you always opened your arms for him to mold into your hold, like perfect little puzzle pieces. He missed the way you smiled at his lame attempts to initiate cuddles in your bed. He missed the way you made him feel inside when he came home from a strenuous day in the studio. And most of all, he missed the way you made him feel human. If only he could've been as great as you believed him to be.
"It's been a long lonely December"
He finishes the song, his heavy pants drowned out by the sounds of screaming fans. Slowly, he remembers where he is. His eyes open to reveal a large crowd of people and the flashes of lights, always a bit overwhelming to him. Eyes dart around the venue as he takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself down again. But a single pair of eyes cause him to stop breathing.
He gasps, eyes widening; the familiar (e/c) orbs he's been yearning for stare back at him. A watery smile grows on your face at the realization that he sees you, and the expression on his face tells you all you need to know.
His body tenses, muscles straining to stop him from jumping off the stage and running to you, hoping that if he hugs you tight enough, you won't be able to leave again. He wouldn't let you.
Seeing you again only reminded him how much he loves you, so much so that his whole chest aches. His lip trembles as he covers his mouth with his hand. He'd do anything to be with you again. He only hopes that this time he can be strong enough to protect you, as the extraordinary man you always reminded him he was.
