Let’s talk about my new favourite tiktok trend: being feminine the way boys are.
From as far as I can remember, feminity has always been a weird thing in my life. If I am too feminine, ie sexy, I am placing a target on my back for anyone to see and take advantage of. If I am too masculine, I am not attractive anymore.
Within girl groups, there is always that bitch nobody likes but she is like a natural leader, I don’t care to know why at this point, that would challenge the heck out of my feminity. Anytime I would wear a skirt or something, “oh, you trying to get (blank)’s attention”, like no bitch, I felt cute, lemme be. Like I am a tall naturally muscular girl, aka smol guy sized, so if I wear like a flannel, apparently I look like a dude, and so that was the school joke, like “is it a she or a him?” (she/they fyi).
Anything I liked about my physical appearance or character as a person was weaponized against me every fucking minute.
Guys didn’t give a flying fuck, like yeah, I am kinda one of the guys, but I still look good though, so like we good on that front ya know.
Long story short, I have a hard time being comfortable with my feminity, it’s not that I don’t identify as a woman, it’s just that socially feminity is not encouraged.
Any softness or cuteness is just taken advantage of. So I became somewhat of a pick me girl. I am not proud, but I gotta recognized it happened.
To me, the “being feminine like the boys are” trend is a way to take that back and make it an empowering thing. Like, I have the “typical” evil matriarch body type, (heafty hourglass), like “I am gonna make you wait for it and you will enjoy it” thing about me and it’s a thing I love about me. A thing people see and generally appreciate. I don’t like beauty make up, and my body fits no standard whatsoever, so a smudgy liner it’s gonna be, embracing what makes me beautiful, without looking for the “womanly” way to do it. Like, I look good, EVEN FUCKING BALD HONEY, say what you will, think what you think. I am beautiful, I just am.
