#smartass comments

[smart-ass-comments]

At Least 500 Times Today

Customer1: "I'm calling about those solar eclipse glasses..."

Me: "We're sold out ma'am."

Customer2: "Yes, I saw online that you all had the solar eclipse glasses..."

Me: "No sir, we're sold out."

Customer3: "Do y'all know if you're getting anymore solar eclipse glasses?"

Me: "No ma'am, we're not."

Customer4: "Yes I was calling because I'm looking for something. You put them on your face and they protect your eyes from the eclipse that's coming on August 21, 2017. They're called solar eclipse glasses. Do you have any glasses for the eclipse?"

Me: "....................................no sir, we're sold out."

Me: "Thank you for calling [store], we're sold out of eclipse glasses!"

Customer5: *click*

[smart-ass-comments]

[smart-ass-comments]

"Where do you put the cash?!"

[smart-ass-comments]

OMG

I had a some customers yesterday who had a kid with them, maybe 3 or 4 years old. The kid was a bit rambunctious, but wasn't too bad until he got to the register. I don't know what it is about snacks, but when kids see them, they lose their shit.

So the kid is over by the snacks and his parents are trying to get him back near them. He's not listening. He's picking out his snacks. Finally the dad grabs him some pop tarts and drags him over to the register. I ring up his food and the kid asks me to put it in a separate bag.

His mom said something like "let the lady do her job" and the kid turned to her and said

"CASH ME OUSSIDE, HOW BOU DAH?!"

I lost it immediately. That lady was so embarrassed and I felt so bad for laughing, but it was fucking hilarious 😂😂😂

[smart-ass-comments]

Where Did You Come From?! Where Have You Been?!!

I had 2 customers... TWO!!... that stopped me on my break and on my way home to ask me a question. When they realized I was headed out, they let me go.

THEY. LET. ME. GO.

WHO ARE THESE ANGELS WHO REALIZE THAT IM HUMAN AND NEED REST?! WHY DONT YOU SHOP HERE MORE?!!!! 😭😭😭🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[smart-ass-comments]

Today I'm Thankful

As a retail employee of the South, I am thankful for college football for keeping all the entitled, rude, ornery, bitchy customers home to scream at the tv instead of me 😌😌😌

[smart-ass-comments]

Hey Mr. Boss Man

You, sir, are a petty son of a bitch.

No, I did not go to the store meeting as you were so eager to point out. This is because I was sick (of your shit, and also physically not well). As I'm learning, many people didn't go to your precious meeting because they were "sick".

I know you don't know how to people, so I'll just go ahead and let you know. AT NO POINT IS IT OKAY FOR YOU TO PUBLICALLY SHAME YOUR EMPLOYEES FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING THAT WASNT MANDATORY IN THE FIRST PLACE. No, sir, it was not okay for you to page overhead (with customers in the store!!) and basically badmouth the employees who did not attend. You knew your meeting wasn't gonna be shit, and you know morale is down, and that's why you literally had to bribe your own employees to come in. Classy.

It's behavior like the kind you exhibited today that fueled my decision not to go at all and it's that same behavior that prompted me to look for employment elsewhere. I hope your store falls apart, asshole.

[smart-ass-comments]

"I Don't Have My Receipt"...

...is the retail equivalent of "The dog ate my homework." "Can I just get store credit!" is the same as "What can I do for extra credit?" I'M NOT GONNA KEEP GIVING YOU CHANCES, BILLY!! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! 😠