A story told entirely in letters, mostly from Draco Malfoy's lawyer to one very annoyed Harry James Potter. Stunning, incredible, hilarious, cannot rec enough. If it's possible you haven't yet read this, please do yourself a favor and read it immediately.
5 Tags: Epistolary, Draco Malfoy is a Little Shit, Harry Potter is So Done, Humor, Lawyers
Summary:
A love story told through legal documents.
Or: a courtship.
Full 2025 theme list here for anyone else who wants to participate!
my secret santa gift for smugrobotics!! College AU where Eames hosts a segment on the uni radio show and Arthur is drunk on his voice. also on ao3
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“That’s it for tonight; thanks for listening. Don’t forget to follow my journey to self-discovery as documented in my blog—links are listed in the official website. Have a lovely night, all.” The voice is warm and low; Arthur can just imagine the speaker smiling, even if he’s never seen Eames, whoever he is. Eames just has a really nice voice with a really nice accent, no, Ariadne, he is not infatuated with this guy.
Arthur just happens to like Eames’ radio show, that’s all. The segment, part of the university’s radio program, starts at seven in the evening every night. Eames’ program is an advice show, but it often turns into something of a missed connections program—callers complaining about being too shy to talk to the guy from the library or the girl who dropped her books in the quad, if you’re listening to this, can you please call me at this number?
Eames’ voice aside, Arthur genuinely finds Eames to be pleasant. He’s kind and thoughtful and always gives great advice, making sure to give out hotline numbers for questions that he thinks are more than he should be handling. From the show, Arthur has only been able to gather that Eames is a sophomore whose least favorite class is physics.
Which, yeah. Arthur can definitely relate to that sentiment.
All Arthur wants is for Eames to slip up about his romantic life—single? Crushing? Committed? He’s been listening for months, but Eames really does his best to make sure his segments are never about him.
Which is why Arthur finds himself googling the university’s radio show, going on the site, and searching for Eames’ blog. The link takes him to Eames’ tumblr, and Arthur clicks Follow before even reading any of Eames’ posts.
“Arthur, what are you—” Arthur hears, and is already closing his laptop before he even realizes who’s speaking.
Ariadne. Who definitely caught that he was on Eames’ blog.
“Arthur,” she says slowly, “what were you looking at?”
Futile as it is to lie, Arthur spits out the first thing he can think of—“Porn.”
Porn?
He cringes and resists the urge to slam the laptop into his face.
Arthur just knows that Ariadne has an eyebrow raised, a smirk playing on her lips. “Uh… huh,” she walks around the table to sit across from him, “porn. In public?” Her tone becomes mocking as her eyes widen, dancing with mirth. “How scandalous.”
“Shut up,” he mutters.
“I just can’t believe you, Arthur! What would—”
“Shut up.”
Ariadne pouts and sits back in her chair, crossing her arms as she does so. “You’re no fun. What’s the point of doing stupid things if you’re not gonna let me heckle you about them?”
“It’s not like I intend for you to see me do stupid things.”
She pulls a face at him and sits back up, putting her elbows on the table. “So, how is loverboy?” she asks, raising both eyebrows in reply to his glare.
“I wouldn’t know,” he finally says. “You interrupted me before I could peruse.”
“Well, tell me if you find anything interesting,” she tells him, winking. “I’m heading to the gym. You should come with me tomorrow.”
Arthur waves a hand disinterestedly before opening his laptop again.
“I’ll take that as a yes. Be ready at five.” She’s gone before Arthur can say no, and it takes all of his willpower not to brain himself on his laptop.
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eeaammeess:
| why doesn’t every class have a lunch break
320 notes
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“So, how long did it take you to go through his whole blog?” is the first thing Ariadne says to him at five o’clock (exactly) the next day.
“I’m not answering that,” he retorts, stepping around her and taking a sip of his water.
“So, more than an hour?”
“Let’s just go exercise, okay?”
Ariadne shrugs and leads the way to the treadmills.
It’s as Arthur adjusts the speed to “8.0” that he glances over to his right and sees a very, very attractive man over by the weights. He accidentally drifts to the right of the treadmill and grabs the handles for stability. He glances back at the fine as hell guy just in time to see a smile playing on his large, inviting lips. Arthur shakes the image from his head (read: attempts to redirect his focus) and reduces the speed. Just in case.
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eeaammeess:
| finding self-discovery through old gym class heroes cds
113 notes
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Ariadne convinces Arthur to go to the gym with her (read: belittles him and blackmails him until he agrees) more frequently, and he finds himself going nearly every day; he goes by himself two days a week because Ariadne has a World Religions class at four on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Every time he goes, he sees the insanely gorgeous guy that had almost caused him to fall off the treadmill, but he doesn’t make the same mistake ever again—he only lets himself look at the man when he is not on the treadmill.
He’s sure the guy has noticed him looking, but sometimes Arthur will find him looking back and can’t help but whip his head back around and flush.
Great. So now he’s infatuated with two guys he doesn’t know.
Ariadne gives him knowing looks every time they leave the gym, but for once, has nothing to say on the matter.
Which, in all honestly, should have been his first clue that something was up.
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eeaammeess:
| alright, followers. I need some advice from you all, for once. say, | hypothetically, that I notice a guy often looking at me in the gym that I | hypothetically don’t mind looking. would you mind being, uh, | approached in a gym? feel free to call your answers in tonight!
98 notes
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“Hello, caller. You’re on the air, say hi.”
“Uh.” Arthur swallows, throat dry. “Hi.”
“What’s your name?” Eames purrs, and Arthur feels himself flush.
“Arthur.”
“So, Arthur, what would you like to say on the matter?”
“I’d like to say, uh.” He swallows again. “W—would this guy at the gym happen to be pale, skinny, brown hair that looks like it’s just recently learned how to not look dumb? Gets distracted and nearly dies on a treadmill?”
Eames makes a noise of surprise. “That sounds fairly accurate, Arthur.” He lowers his voice, flirtatious in a way that makes Arthur clutch his phone a little harder. “Would you happen to have any… information for me?”
“Uh,” Arthur stammers, “he, he’d love to meet you at the Starbucks on campus tomorrow at noon, if you’d like.”
Eames laughs, and the sound makes Arthur bite his lip. He can feel his cheeks flushing and just knows that somewhere, Ariadne is frantically texting Arthur in all caps (with loads of punctuation).
“Sounds, perfect, darling. See you then.”
“See you,” Arthur answers, then hangs up before he can make a fool of himself live on air.
--
eeaammeess:
| I have to actively restrain myself from ravishing my significant other on a daily basis tbh
Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and come up with 11 new ones
Rule 3: Tag some people and link them to the post
Rule 4: Actually tell them you tagged them
#
1 Kindle, Nook or Book?
Kindle and books. When I moved to Japan I took along my Kindle instead of eight boxes of books, as I figured it'd be more efficient. There are sometimes, though, when I just want the feel of a book in my hands.
2 Did you get snow today?
No, but it's coming this weekend.
3 What is #5 on your bucket list?
I had to get up and go get my bucket list book thing. Uh...learn to use a bullwhip. But...not for the reasons you probably think. I just. I just really want to be Indiana Jones. T_T
4 Do you have a pet? What kind and name if you do.
Not at the moment! Unless you count my sad bamboo plant.
5 What movie can you quote in its entirety? (or near enough)
The Princess Bride
6 What is your worst bad habit?
Biting my nails
7 What is the farthest you have ever traveled from home?
Japan or Wales, they're both about equidistance from California
8 What are you scared of?
Crocodiles and sharks and centipedes.
9 Name your 3 favorite things to eat.
Gnocchi
Fried chicken
Really good cupcakes
10 How long have you been on Tumblr?
About a year!
11 What is your favorite quote?
"If we crave some cosmic purpose, then let us find ourselves a worthy goal.” - Carl Sagan
12 Do you enjoy answering random questions or was this pure torture?
It was fine!
Questions FOR YOU!
1. Are you a student or a wage-slave?
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
3. How tall are you?
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
5. What’s the last movie you saw?
6. Who was the last person you called?
7. Who was the last person to call you?
8. What was the last text message you received?
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail?
When I'm scrolling and I see your icon in my peripheral vision, my brain thinks it's a picture of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin. Thought you should know. Also, happy birthday!
He could definitely play Prince Jasmine. He's already been the Prince of Persia, so it fits haha! Thanks for the message bbs x
Chapters: 5/?
Fandom: (500) Days of Summer (2009), Warrior (2011)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Tommy Conlon/Tom Hansen
Characters: Tommy Conlon, Tom Hansen
Summary:
This is a story of boy meets boy, but you should know upfront, this is a love story.
