this reminds me of another post I saw ages ago with a gifset of tony and steve's conversation in avengers after coulson's death, when steve asks tony "is this the first time you've lost a soldier?", and someone on the reblogs said steve was being cold and insensitive towards tony's grief over coulson. and that really stood out to because it was such a blatant misread, maligning steve's role in the scene to the point of dishonesty, that's it's bizarre to see another take about a different scene where steve was also trying to comfort tony in the face of grief.
it's comical in a way, because steve and tony being bad at communicating is actually a running theme through their interactions in the mcu, so it's ironic to see stans taking their failure to understand each other at face value. i'm assuming the take on that scene is that steve's comment was insensitive because tony reacted poorly to it, but just because a character said something the other character didn't like, it doesn't mean what they said was bad, or that they meant to upset anyone by it. that's... just a very basic situation in writing? sometimes characters just rub each other the wrong way and shit happens because of it. I... do not understand why that would be a difficult concept to grasp