You're the reason
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Genre : angst - fluff ish
Tw : death, mentions of suicide, some blood
Characters: Lee jaemin, you, lee hamin
Pairing: Lee jaemin x reader (platonic)
Story : I stayed because of you, so don't leave me
The sharp crash of shattering glass jolted the silence.
"(name)...?"
"Jaemin, I've been calling you for a while now. You okay?" you asked, pulling Jaemin in front of you, carefully scanning for any injuries.
"You didn’t get hit, did you?" you added, pointing to the pile of broken glass on the floor. "I was supposed to bring some for you, but I kind of tripped."
Jaemin let himself be pulled closer, briefly glancing over the mess before shaking his head. "I'm fine… Just thinking."
"You thinking about your brother again?" you hummed, watching Jaemin carefully as you picked up the box and began scooping the broken glass back in to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
Jaemin nodded, keeping his gaze averted, unwilling to let you see the guilt pooling in his eyes. "I'm starting to understand how Hamin felt."
You froze for a moment, your hands pausing over the glass. Thoughts immediately swirled in your mind.
Oh my god. This is an apartment. We're on the 4th floor. It shouldn’t be that fatal, right? You forced yourself to keep your hands moving, silently calculating escape paths, emergency scenarios, anything.
"You okay?" you asked, trying to sound composed.
Jaemin noticed the slight pause but didn't say anything. He simply leaned back against the railing, his expression distant. "Mhm. I'm fine."
You continued cleaning, but your mind was racing. In your distraction, you accidentally pressed your palm into a sharp shard, a sudden sting slicing through your skin. You watched the blood begin to pool and drip steadily from your hand.
"...Please don’t die."
The words left you quietly, fragile, like a prayer you had been holding back for far too long.
Jaemin's eyes immediately snapped to your bleeding hand. His expression tightened as he quickly stepped forward, gently taking your hand to inspect the wound.
"Why do you always get hurt when you’re with me or around me?" Jaemin muttered, pulling out a handkerchief and wrapping it around your hand, his fingers trembling slightly.
"Sorry," you mumbled, your voice barely a whisper. "Didn’t mean to."
"Be careful," Jaemin scolded softly, his grip lingering around your hand as if afraid to let go.
There was a silence between you, heavy with things unsaid.
Without warning, Jaemin lowered his head and began to cry, his shoulders trembling, his grip tightening around your hand as if clinging to the last piece of stability he had.
"I… I just feel so tired sometimes," he admitted between shaky breaths. "And it scares me. It really scares me."
Your heart clenched at the sight. You let Jaemin cry, simply holding his hand firmly, giving him the space to break down without saying a word.
When Jaemin's sobs softened, you exhaled shakily, deciding it was time.
"Jaemin," you began, your eyes fixed on him. "Do you remember the day you called me? The day Hamin died?"
Jaemin’s throat tightened, but he nodded slowly.
"You called me, crying hysterically," you said, your voice gentle but trembling. "At that point, I was already on the rooftop. I was going to take a picture before I… before I went."
Jaemin's breath caught in his throat.
"You were trembling, crying, begging me to answer. And that made me feel terrible." You glanced toward the window, your voice dropping. "I looked out at the sunset. It was so beautiful that day."
You shrugged, trying to keep your composure. "I couldn’t do it that day. I just couldn’t leave you. And every other day I tried, my thoughts always came back to you."
Jaemin swallowed hard, the weight of your confession sinking deep into his chest. "You… you stayed because of me?"
You gave a small nod, your shoulder lightly brushing against his. "If I had left, who would’ve answered your call?"
Jaemin leaned against you, resting his head on your shoulder, his grip tightening slightly on your bandaged hand.
"You’re right," Jaemin whispered, his voice cracking. "I wouldn’t know who to turn to… I need you here."
"I’m not going anywhere," you promised softly, brushing your thumb across Jaemin’s knuckles. "But you have to promise me something too. Next time you feel like this, tell me. I don’t want you to go through what I did."
Jaemin slowly lifted his gaze, meeting your eyes with quiet determination. "I will. I won’t forget."
"Good," you whispered.
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<- MASTERLIST
-> another month, another angst fic
-> been thinking about hamin lately, waiting for the day someone will take my hand and drag me through the rain 🙂↕️
