End of 2024, I was crying to my man, telling him that I am lacking community in the worst way. And it's not an insult to my friends or family, but community is just a little different and you don't realize how much you *need* it until you don't have it.
In January he bought me Dragon Age the Veilgaurd, even though he said he heard it was terrible and everyone hated it, he bought it at full price for me. And I absolutely fell in love with this game. I fell in love with the story, the characters, the mechanics, the play style, and so many other things.
And somehow I stumbled into this beautiful Emmrich Volkarin fandom and found the most incredible fandom I have ever been honored to be a part of. That is saying something considering I have been in fandoms since the way early days of the internet (read 1997 in the Animorphs message boards).
The people who love this dapper necromancer are some of the best humans in the world. You cannot change my mind. And I would be absolutely remiss for not standing here today and telling you all THANK YOU for being you. Thank you for being a place that so many can celebrate, explore, and find freedom not just in a fandom space, but as human beings. Thank you for becoming some of my dearest friends. Thank you for sharing your creativity, your joy, your laughter, and you with me.
I have found such a beautiful space here on tumblr, on tiktok, on AO3, and on one of the most amazing discord servers called The Fade.
Just tagging people I feel beyond honored to have met @paramortality @deny-the-issue @holdingontojupiter @milothatxh @thelilidiot @razildor @ermagerdperpehs @junejems @soeasilyswayed @falesiastuff @ollypopwrites @themournfulwatcher @svanha @redheadsramblings @hedwigoprah @zeaadlwir @thequeenofthewinter @jessica2193 @omabell-illustriert @bionicgrapejuice @farore05 @danyrics @queenmuzz @toonybrin and and I'm sure I'm missing so many more. It isn't on purpose, my heart is just full!!!
And those who aren't on tumblr : Lunette, Jenn, Xak, and so many others!!
If you read all that thank you! I love you! I'm glad we all share a love for Professor Emmrich Volkarin!
To the Artist/Creative Taking Commissions and Running a Business
Not everyone is your client. And that is okay!
I know I have touched on this before, I am a photographer. I did(do) it professionally. I own a business and pay taxes. I have awards, recognition, and multiple years voted top 3 for my specialty. Last night I was on the book of faces looking for a specific photo and discovered this buried in the trenches. And it made me think about my own journey and some of the things I have learned as a Creative who earns money with their art.
In 2016 I began pursuing photography. I bought a Costco DSLR kit with starter lenses and was determined to learn this craft. I spent hours watching online videos, learning my camera, studying, taking photo after photo, and then learning how to edit. I learned about lighting and framing and posing and so many other things. I made a post in 2017 wanting practice and to build my portfolio.
I could go into why this was not the best way to approach building my portfolio, but I was so new to everything and very eager. And truthfully, it brought about the wrong type of people. People who didn't appreciate what I was trying to do or what I was offering, even if it was unprofessional and, quite frankly bad.
One specific person reached out wanting some type of session for their child, I think either a 1st birthday or something similar. They wanted a cake, props, multiple outfit changes, and multiple locations. For me as new I was, their request felt overwhelming and was going to cost me a lot of money. And truthfully, this type of photography was not what I was (and still not) interested in at all which meant it wasn't really something I was going to be able to use in my portfolio.
But, because I'm a people pleaser, I thought a compromise of if they brought the props and cakes and everything else they wanted, I would do the photography for them. I felt that was fair. This person didn't. They proceeded to berate me and tell me I'm not that special, there are so many other photographers out there. And instead of blocking this person, I apologized. I didn't do the session, but I still apologized.
This made me feel like such a failure at the time. And I was sad about it for a few days. But I pushed forward and continued my creative journey.
In 2018, I found myself frustrated. I had substantially upgraded my equipment, I had a fledgling business, not as many clients as I was hoping for (I was desperate to leave the corporate world and go full time) and the general ideation that I was doing something so very, very wrong. I was charging a fair price for my art and time, read $100 a session for all the edited photos and the session. In pure desperation, I made another post on the book of faces asking for genuine opinions from friends and family on what was wrong with *me*?
Remember that person from before that wanted the sun, moon, and stars for a free session? They took that opportunity after over a year to slide into my dms and leave me this gem.
I will be honest, my initial reaction was to type out a War & Peace sized response to this. This message gutted me. And instead of seeing this as one person who felt entitled to any art they wanted for free, I took this to mean I was a terrible artist and wrong for wanting to build up a business to support myself. I did end up blocking this person without ever sending a message and forcing myself to once again move on.
Because not everything and everyone is worthy of my energy to a response.
In as much as I wanted to be compensated for my time, talent, skill, and art, I didn't have to compensate every single person who threw energy towards me. Or attempted to suck energy from me. And perhaps this was a moment where I realized that maybe I didn't want to take on every single person who came to me wanting photos. That maybe they weren't the right fit.
So I continued on in my journey. I built my business up, I honed in on my skills. I created and experimented and played. And I began to raise my prices.
I want to remind you dear creative and artist, that there is nothing wrong creating and giving your creation away for free if that is what you want. And there is nothing wrong with refusing a demand for free art. There will be many who come to you with guilt trips and every sort of reason why they are entitled to your time, talent, skill, and creation. Do not let someone guilt or bully you.
Even if you are still learning and new.
Don't give up on your artistic journey or desire to grow your "business". But don't sacrifice your peace and your mental well being by taking on things that will not also benefit you. Not everyone is your client.
Here is something I can share on tumblr that won't get me banned.
I'm Sofie. This blog came back to life because I needed to make the internet fun again for me. Being able to run wild and be a menace in fandom spaces again is truly the best choice I could've made for myself. I post what makes me happy and for myself. I am definitely an 18+ tumblr.
TikTok - I post snippits and edits from my own playthroughs.
Bsky - I lurk here but if you want to follow me feel free!
YouTube - I post longer videos of my playthroughs here.
AO3 - If you want to see my fanfiction I write. It's mostly EmmxRook.
Picashot - Virtual Photography Stash
Pillowfort - Virtual Photography Horde
Dragon Age: The Veilguard :
Allette "Rook" Ingellvar - Currently the main OC who features when I post Veilguard content. She is smitten and in love with Emmrich Volkarin. The Tag - "Allette Ingellvar".
Anya "Rook" de Riva - Crow. Romanced Lich Emmrich while questioning Necromancy.
Sastry "Ingellvar" - MW, An OC that somehow decided she needed to be a Rook as well.
CyberPunk 2077:
V - my first V. Corpo background, ridiculously feral for Goro Takemura and motorcycles. We are writing up a "canon" ending because all of the endings destroyed me in the best way.
If you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask! I'm glad you are!
Sastry "Ingellvar" - Thoughts and a Thank You to the Emmrich Fandom
Sastry is an OC that has been with me since I was 13 and barely foraging into the trenches of fanfiction. She started out as an evil vampire witch in an AU fic but I quickly fell in love with the resilient spirit that she possessed. So, she began to tell me her story, little by little, piece by tragic heartbreaking piece, and she is one of my - if not my absolute - favorite characters. (I keep thinking one day I will rewrite her story and share it publicly, but it's pretty daunting and complicated and heartbreaking. But there's hope, there's always hope.)
I had a lot of ideas for an AU I needed to be writing but none of them felt *right*. During a sprint I opened a blank document and just stream of consciousness wrote. Sastry appeared and told me she had an idea.
I cannot wait to share this completed story. It has truly been a labor of love but also a full circle moment for me. The opportunity to revisit one of my beloved characters has been another level of healing for me. I never thought I would get to explore ideas with her through written word ever again. But if there is anything I have learned in my *coughs* years of life, things have a way of finding us again. What is meant to be will be. There is always hope, even if it is the tiniest crack of light trying to pierce the darkness, it is still there.
It has been said before, but I will say it again, I was in a bad car accident in 2014 that left me with a brain injury. Words still to this day are hard for me (not in the funny way) and I for many, many years could not sit down and write. Which was beyond heartbreaking because writing was always something that was a part of me. I still have boxes of notebooks and pages of stories I wrote as a young girl. My dream job was to be a published author one day. That accident in 2014 made me feel like I would never see an idea in my head come to life in written word again.
To find a community of people, creatives, artists, and unhinged gremlin's who did nothing but hype every single work of art up regardless of skill level or years of experience broke a wall in me that needed to be broken. And I wrote a (very not great but I WROTE IT) fanfic that has helped me find my footing and strength once more. Writing is still a huge struggle for me, I get headaches and frustrated with myself, but there is an insane amount of support from this beautiful community that means the absolute world to me.
I once again cannot thank the Emmrich fandom and community enough for being the place that has healed me in so many ways. If you are reading this you are included in that. If we have only talked once or if we talk every day like chaotic gremlins, thank you for letting me be me. For being a part of this journey of healing I'm currently on. And always being the best hype people. <3
Coming out of my lurker hovel to say I love your rook SO MUCH!!!!! All the fanart I see of her is amazing thank you for supporting community artists! Do you take all her pictures? If you do that's incredible. K byeeee! Love from France
Hiiii!! Omg this is so so so so nice!!! Thank you for your kind words!
I have taken all but a few of the photos of Allette! In the real world I did photography. Being able to still be creative in that way is cathartic and healing for me.
I love being able to support artists though my wallet is very angry at the moment. 😅 But as an artist myself I love being able to support others in that way.
Thank you for such kind words. It really means a lot!
