Nov 12, 2025
got early access to gtc today.... 😰 I, uh... I think I feel a bit ill... I felt so many emotions at once, so strongly... Brace yourselves for ch 15 on Friday
seen from Brazil
seen from Slovakia
seen from Slovakia
seen from Yemen
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from Egypt
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Türkiye
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Italy
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
got early access to gtc today.... 😰 I, uh... I think I feel a bit ill... I felt so many emotions at once, so strongly... Brace yourselves for ch 15 on Friday
me refreshing and staring at the gimme that candyfloss ao3 page waiting for the update:
y'know I realized recently that I was still holding on to performing certain "masculine" traits or behaviors in a forced way due to I guess subconsciously feeling like I *had* to in order to appear masculine. but I recently joined a group and interacted there with so many wonderful people who made me feel welcome and appreciated exactly aa I am. and that made me relax and stop pushing those behaviors and idk traits that didn't feel natural to me. like for example my throat used to hurt if I talked for more than 30 minutes or so, because I was pushing it down trying to make it as deep as it would go. but when i started talking in voice calls/group calls with my new friends, I didn't feel the pressure to talk in that way because they couldn't see what I looked like and I also knew they wouldn't judge me for my voice, no matter what it would sound like. and um. now I can talk for *hours* and my throat hasn't hurt AT ALL. i can't believe just how much it matters to have people in your life who make you feel like you can just be yourself and you don't need to be some "idealized" version of yourself that you have in your head. i'm so much more relaxed. i'm so much happier. thank you, b. thank you, j. thank you, l. thank you b2. thank you, c. recently, thank you, h. thank you, s. thank you, k. and thank you to literally everyone else because we'd be here all day if i tried to mention them all.
ah. THAT'S why that person is like that. nevermind then I'm fine, I didn't do anything wrong lmao
🥹 I just found a random post that mentioned my YT channel and the person said they love my videos and oh my god I want to cry that was such a nice surprise 😭😭😭 like... I know technically speaking ppl like my channel since I have 5k+ subs, but... Someone just randomly remembering me and something I posted???? Fuck, it makes me emotional
even though i only slept for like 5 hours (because i read an entire longass fanfic until 10:30am. yes am as in morning.) i am somehow super locked in today. finished writing the script & recorded footage for work. cooked for myself. made tea & took flu meds. hell yeah. it's so nice when i have good days.
ugh, i got a cold/flu 😭 kept forgetting to go get my flu shot from the pharmacy... fuck me, i guess.
one day i will feel calm after posting a fic i wrote instead of obsessively refreshing the page to see if anyone liked it. today is not that day 😔