(reaction) | riize when you’re a men hater .ᐟ.ᐟ
Genre:
crack, humor, fluff, lighthearted banter, slice of life, friends-to-chaotic-idiots
Shotaro
You’re sitting on the couch together, folding laundry. He’s humming, all sunshine and giggles, when you sigh and mutter, “God, men are just… useless sometimes.”
Shotaro pauses, clutching a hoodie like it’s a life-or-death decision.
“Ehh?? But… I’m man.” His eyes widen, puppy-like.
You look at him deadpan. “Yeah, and you’re still useless.”
His jaw drops. “WHAT?!” He dramatically drops the hoodie, clutching his chest. “Me?? The laundry king?? I fold shirts better than Uniqlo staff!”
You roll your eyes. “You’re exempt, Shotaro. You’re like a golden retriever in human form. Not threatening enough to count as a man.”
The way his face lights up—instant sunshine. “So… I’m puppy?”
“Exactly.”
“Good.” He nods, picking the hoodie back up, humming happily. “Then I’ll just stay puppy forever.”
Eunseok
At the practice room, you complain after reading a text from your friend about her terrible date. “Ugh, see? Men. Every single one of them thinks he’s the main character. Garbage.”
Eunseok flips his hair like he’s filming a shampoo commercial.
“Correction,” he says, strutting across the room. “Boys are trash. Men like me? We are once-in-a-lifetime masterpieces.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Masterpieces who… lost their wallet three times this month?”
He freezes, his confident smirk faltering. “…That was a test.”
“A test of what, your incompetence?”
“No!” He points dramatically at himself. “Of… humility! Even masterpieces need flaws. It makes me… relatable.”
You snort so hard he actually blushes.
“See?” he smirks again, recovering instantly. “I made you laugh. Case closed.”
Sungchan
You’re at the convenience store, and some guy rudely cuts in front of you. You mutter under your breath, “Of course. Men. Always thinking they’re more important.”
Sungchan, towering behind you, leans down so he’s eye-level. “You hate men that much, huh?”
“Correct.”
“Fine.” He spreads his long arms dramatically. “From now on, I’m not a man. I’m… your furniture.”
You blink. “…What?”
“Chair? Table? Recliner?” He gestures at himself. “Pick one. Sit on me whenever men annoy you.”
The cashier stares, the line of customers stares, and you just bury your face in your hands. “You’re literally embarrassing me in public.”
“But look—” He grins, bending his knees like he’s about to squat. “I’m a comfy chair. Test it out.”
You push him away, but you’re laughing, and he beams like he just won an Olympic medal.
Wonbin
You’re on a walk together, venting. “Men are egotistical. Loud. Think they’re God’s gift to the world.”
Wonbin nods immediately. “Exactly. Hate them. Men are trash.”
You squint. “…You are one.”
He gasps. “Excuse me? I am different.” He starts counting on his fingers. “One: I wash my face. Two: I use toner. Three: I play guitar. That automatically puts me above 90% of men.”
“Congrats, you’re recyclable trash instead of landfill.”
He laughs so hard he nearly trips over the curb. “That was funny. Say it again, I’ll add it to my lyrics.”
“Please don’t.”
Sohee
You beat him at Mario Kart for the third time in a row and throw your arms up. “Men suck. Another victory for me.”
Sohee just stares at the screen, controller slipping from his hands. “…So every time I lose… you hate me more?”
“Yes.”
He blinks. “Then I’ll just… never win again.” He throws himself backward onto the couch, groaning dramatically. “This is my sacrifice.”
“That’s not the point, Sohee—”
He peeks up at you with puppy eyes. “It’s fine. If my eternal suffering keeps you happy, then I’ll suffer.”
You’re trying not to laugh, but the way he pouts makes it impossible. He smirks, catching you. “See? You like me. You don’t hate me.”
“…Shut up before I throw this controller at your face.”
Anton
You’re scrolling TikTok together, and one of those “alpha male” podcasts pops up. The guy onscreen says, “Women should know their place—”
You slam your phone down. “See?? THIS. Men are insufferable.”
Anton smirks lazily, not even looking up. “…Still doesn’t explain why you laugh at all my dumb jokes.”
“That’s called coping.”
“Coping… or crushing?” He finally glances at you, the corner of his mouth twitching up.
“Block me. Right now.”
“Can’t.” He shrugs. “You’re too entertaining.”
You groan, but he’s already grinning, knowing he got under your skin.
Seunghan
You’re sipping your drink when you casually say, “Men? Trash. All of them.”
Seunghan gasps so dramatically he almost spills his water. “Not me! I’m baby. You can’t hate baby.”
“You’re literally a grown man.”
“No, I’m soft. I’m squishy. I’m babyyy~” He immediately breaks into aegyo.
You glare. “Do that again and I’ll start hating you specifically.”
He freezes… then does it again. “Worth it.”
You throw a napkin at his face, and he just laughs.
