36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?
i know why you sent me this and i abstain from answering. for the sake of my pride. but Yes
43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.
i don’t write or participate much in the se fandom anymore (it’s pretty much all i wrote for like, three? years?) but the friends i made because of it are some of my closest in the world. and i think if it wasn’t for that i’d be a lot lonelier (and sadder!). and i mean. i also met my boyfriend through resbang so.... thank you resbang. i hope to be one of your success stories
AMA Transcript: Found It Once, You’ll Find It Again
Next up, @silly-twin-stars and @sojustifiable stopped by to answer questions about their Resbang, Found It Once, You’ll Find It Again! Here’s some of what went down:
Q: Okay I personally wanna know more about the adorable town u based this off of, bc your bang is DRENCHED in nostalgic love for this place.
Silly: Aw yeah!!! So this town is based off a real town in Maine that I go to every summer where my grandmother lives! It's a tiny beach town and honestly I changed very few details about it, to the point where sahdah actually messaged me and said "is this [name of town]?" and it WAS. It's the only place I've come back to every summer of my life, and I love it so much.
Q: What inspired you to make Soul a mechanic rather than a musician?
Silly: Hmmmmm! Well I've seen a few people do the 'Soul's a mechanic' approach and I wanted to try my hand at it! And I wanted the Old Mercedes Fan Club to be a bonding point for him and Nana so I wanted him to really know what he was talking about. Plus it will give them a few reasons... to be alone... later.... :eyes: u kno. Plot Devices.gif.
Q: I know this wasn't your original idea for resbang?? What made you decide that this was the thing you wanted to do?
Silly: HOO boy yeah this Resbang was not my usual approach at ALL. [For] every other Resbang I had pounds and pounds of notes and research and stuff months in advance, and I had planned to do that again, but the idea just got too BIG and I got overwhelmed like a week before claims. So I shouted into my server like SOMEONE HELP and I hopped in a discord call with madi and guac out of the blue, and they just sort of let me talk through other WIPs and concepts I had bouncing around up there. I'd toyed with new england restaurant AU for a while and this just ended up being the right time!
Q: What was your favorite scene to write?
Silly: I think my fave scene is the ouija board scene. It's got taped together french fries, trying to contact John Cena and secondhand embarrassment, all of my fave things.
Q: Amanda, how'd you decide what you wanted to do for art?
Amanda: When I saw the summary and saw whale watching I immediately had an image in mind for the underwater whale thing. And then for my other piece idk, the whole New England AU vibe gave such a sense of aesthetic that I knew I wanted to do more of a scenery thing than a character thing, also to challenge myself with doing a big background and architecture and stuff. I thought about trying to do a townscape but then the description of the garden for nana's house was just really vivid.
Q: Did you draw on ur own nana for her, sil? Or what inspired her? She quickly became my fav side character.
Silly: I DID draw on my grandma. She's sass incarnate and I took some of her -isms (she actually has a mug that says 'everyone's entitled to my opinion') but I also wanted Nana to have a little more of Maka's kindness and stubbornness and not putting up with bullshit-ness haha. I loved writing her. I loved being able to branch out and do whatever characterization I wanted without being tied down.
Q: What inspired all the John Cena in the fic?
Silly: HAHAH okay so. I DIDN'T… INTEND… but. So I decided when I was gonna be introducting everyone by nametag that I wanted b*'s to be illegible. And I was like [it should be an] autograph, duh. But then I was like, but how can I explain that? Who could he be modeling his autograph after? And the first name that popped into my head was John Cena, for whatever reason.
And then i was like "well let's look up his autograph, "and sure enough: https://www.amazon.com/Kirkland-Signature-Photo-Autograph-Glossy/dp/B00RIIJS3M IT LOOKED LIKE A STAR.
Q: What do you think was the hardest scene to write?
Silly: All of them? Hahahah. Like literally everyone else, I had a tough time getting Resbang written this year. I guess if i really think about it, I think the scene where they talk about Spirit was a little tougher, I'm not great at ~emotions~
Q: Are there any tunes that helped you get in the writing groove?
Q: Did you outline? Did anything change when you got it down on paper? Tell me about the Resbang grind.
Silly: Yeeeee i am a proud plantser. I always outline and then veer totally off course of said outline, and then I somehow always make it back on by the end lol. And this year I did Nanowrimo which was awesome so I got a ton of Resbang written during Nano, though it was like... [of] questionable quality haha.
Q: What was your favorite line?
Silly: Favorite line oh jeeeeez. Okay i'll do this one since we were just talking about it and i felt very clever when i thought of it:
“Okay,” Blake begins, eyes shut. “First, I call upon the spirit of John Cena, penman of the world’s most excellent autograph--”
“John Cena’s not dead, you dumbass!” Soul exclaims. “You can’t communicate with people who aren’t dead!”
Q: I personally love that my boys ben and jerry got shout outs. What is your ben and jerry's flavor of choice?
Silly: I really liked writing that scene too, the one where Soul and Wes are bantering in the car. Chocolate peanut buttery swirl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I die.
Q: Will there be a part 2 to this resbang? :eyes:
Silly: There will!!!! sometime!!!!! Lol. But for now i've definitely got my sights set on other stuff haha.
Q: Can we ask what's next or is it [next year’s resbang]?
Silly: Next is [more] In Plain Sight! And possibly Hybrid Theory, if I can punch my own face enough to make it happen. But yeah, IPS is for sure happening and we will see about the rest hehe.
Q: I know the typical resbang response is "everything," but if there was one thing you could go back and change…
Silly: So I would really like to just flesh out the side characters even more. Like I think Nana was p good but I'd like to explore more with Wes's motivations and Liz and Kid and even B*. But there's also just like, no time. U kno how it is.
from artists sojustifiable & peregr1ne [ tumblr / tumblr // tumblr ]
with author judoletteflip [ ffn / ao3 ]
In a world overturned by kishin and madness, young scientist Maka Albarn strives to find a solution. Along the way she stumbles upon Soul Evans, and through each other they find companionship and empathy. And then everything goes horribly wrong.
“time passes slower without you.” yatori. do your worst.
This is entirely @bbbutterfingers‘s fault. Look at what she did.
AO3 / FFN, if preferred.
You awaken from a deep sleep to a tear-soaked pillow, curled up tighter than that desiccated bumble bee you couldn’t stop staring at on the window sill all morning, stomach clenched with the force of your sobs. Gone gone gone, all of it is gone, and you cry harder because you don’t know what is gone.
The feeling doesn’t go away. It clings to you, coats every thought in regret regret regret. You start looking in garbage cans and down dark alleys for it, this thing that is now separate from you, but you give up after the third time you’re almost mugged.
Your friends become concerned. Hey, are you doing all right? What’s wrong? Is there anything you want to talk about?
You don’t know how to answer them, so you get better at acting like a normal person. The questions stop.
Time seems to stop, too, bubbles of it oozing onto your shoulders and down your back, gooey fingers parting your lips while it reminds you of every opportunity you’ve missed and each chance you’ve wasted.
(Such waste, little girl, such a waste you are)
Everything is heavy, so heavy, and the only place you are weightless is in bed. You’re now a master of turning down plans, so good at forming the perfect smile that reaches your eyes and yes, things are fine, let’s make plans for next month!
(You don’t make plans for next month)
Your family sees nothing you don’t want them to see, and this relieves you. You only have so much energy to care about appearances these days. But you can’t shake the feeling you’re somehow failing them, too.
Your brother comes into your room one night with a puzzled look on his face, doctor hands cradling what looks like a small dollhouse. He says he found it in a drawer but no one else recognizes it, so it must be yours.
You tell him you’ve never seen it before. He shrugs and tells you to throw it out. But you can’t, because something about the desperation in the scratched-out name on its back resonates with you, so you put it next to your bedside and spend the rest of the night not really surprised you still have tears left to spill.
It’s been two months. Two months since–what? You’re beginning to doubt that you had a before, a time when you weren’t always looking for someone who isn’t there and a time when you felt like you could join the friends laughing beside you.
The wrongness doesn’t leave, and takes on a biting bittersweetness when you see all the happy families that appear wherever you go like earthworms after rain. Their smiles make you homesick, so soft and unafraid, sharing in a kind of love that you know with aching certainty you’ll never get to experience.
You had a family, once.
No, no, that’s wrong, you have a family, a good family, a loving mama and gentle papa and smart brother and good girls don’t think about what it’d be like to step in front of a bus, Hiyori. That doesn’t stop you from wondering, though, or counting the seconds you have until you miss your chance after the bus comes to a hissing stop in front of you. It’s familiar, somehow, and you cling to the nostalgia with a desperation you’re no longer ashamed to acknowledge.
You can’t shake the feeling that you’re mourning the loss of another life. Were you happy, in the last one? Did you know what it was like to pull someone closer and feel the weight of them around you? Or that glimmer of affection in their eyes when you cooked for them, or the faint heartbeat you could feel holding hands?
The bus doors slide shut, and you gaze at the half of your reflection still visible in the sunset glare. You hope you’ll get to know what all of that is like too, someday.
YEAH SO UPDATE: crush moved back from city for the summer, we hung out, found our feelings are mutual and now we're moving on from there. oh and smooches are a thing that happened. one year ago i met crush and they were my first friend at my job and now this. like dang.
