HOLDS MY OWN HAND GENTLY. YOUR WORTH IS NOT DEPENDENT ON YOUR SKILLS OR YOUR TALENTS. YOU'RE ALLOWED TO FAIL YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SUCK ASS! YOU CAN GET BACK UP AND DO IT AGAIN! YOU CAN PRACTICE AND LEARN AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THE BEST YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT!!!!!!! ILY!!!!!!!
ok uhhh list of scars i imagine jay having before i go make dinner
she has like. acid burns all up her legs and too her tummy from when she was in the electradon’s stomach. it was pretty recently so the burns are still new looking and maybe a little sore when agitated
does the niklaus tattoo count? it does now
burns on her hands and face from tinkering and inventing gone wrong <3 lots of cuts from making arrows and tools too
tiny nics from her navy training
a large scar all up her calf from the ice when she and chip were rescuing gill
the skin around her eye that was bleeding from her dream of the sun is much lighter than the rest of her skin.
one time she was wrestling with ayva and accidently broke her nose
uhhh give me more please most of these r just headcanons <3 gone canon stuff gimme headcanons pretty please
hi im active again but this bio is very outdated. i’m blue, pronouns she/he, i love musical theatre and dnd and characters and music hooray!! i love jay ferin i love navyseal!!!!
OFFICIAL #1 JAY UNDERSTANDER!!!!
welcome to my blog! <3
pfp by @/bat-lunn and banner by @/canyourlawnmowerdothis (go check em out <3 amazing art)
i'm blue but i have a variety of names for u to choose from (hestia, elle, jazzy, artemis, bee, abby)! my interests change very rapidly lmao but i am primarily obsessed with jrwi, tloz, dbh, and pjo! dont be surprised to see other stuff tho :)
i use he/she/it + all neos (no they/them!)! my favs probably he/him, she/her, sol/sun, and ey/em!! i like em all tho! PRONOUN PAGE!
i'm a minor!
bigender and (tentatively) an arospec lesbian <3
EXCLUSIONISTS FUCK OFF. we support mspec gays and lesbians here.
@thiriumstains - my dbh blog!
@sageoflightning - my loz/botw/totk blog!
@hyacinthstims - my stimboard blog!
i'm a fanfic writer! my ao3 is navysealt4t and i post most of my writing there!! feel free to drop by and leave a comment! they make my day :)
sometimes i open fanfic requests! i usually just reblog and ask game or prompt list and tell ppl to go wild lol. though, warning, there is a less than 50% chance ill end up writing the prompt u send </3 my motivation and energy is so unpredictable so lots of the time im just not feeling it, and the other half i forget the prompt even exists!
another note, im terrible terrible at responding to dms :P i much prefer to chat through asks or just posts. im not totally opposed to dms but they do give me a bit of anxiety and then i tend to pretend they dont exist.
INTERESTS: writing, jrwi, tloz, hunchback of notre dame (movie and musical), choir, musical theatre, ukulele, dbh (mainly connor, markus, hankcon, and rk1k), video games, unpacking (game), drawing, baking/cooking, cats, etc :] PLEASEEE send asks about this stuff if u want :D literally send me asks about random ass things i love asks :3
my discord is @/beelue if u ever wanna chat!! (close mutuals/close friends can ask for my instagram :3)
tagging system! (i barely ever use this :()
#some blue thoughts - my general tag for my original posts!
#blue's headphones - music!! whether its my choir music or music im obsessing over or music i relate to a character :)
#blue's writing - where all my fanfics n writing go!!
#blue's theatre - all my theatre stuff!! this wont have much traction anymore since my show ended recently (:((() but yeah!!
#blue's faves AND #blue's saves - stuff i wanna save for later or stuff that is REALLY COOL
#and the universe said i love you - positivity tag!! scroll through if ur having a bad day <3
#bumbling thoughts - posts about characters!! can be in depth analysis' or just silly 2 sentence headcanons :)
i wanna scream about how jay and drey’s stories and characters and arcs are so fucking trans coded. like so trans coded. and they found each other and they might be the only family they feel safe around now. theyre so trans coded. i have no brain energy to ramble :(
jay ferin is a ferin. she was raised to be a strong navy officer. she has a whole family line of strong navy officials and she was expected to carry on their legacy. especially after ava died.
gillion tidestrider is the undersea’s hero. he is the son of the prophecy and would solve all the undersea’s conflicts with the oversea. he was a tidestrider and he was trained to be great. to follow the elder’s every wish.
chip doesn’t have a last name. maybe when he was with arlin he called himself chip james . but he has no history or anyone that put pressure on him. maybe when he was with price’s gang he was “one of them” but he left them. for most of chip’s life he’s had barely anything to his name or anyone to look after him. hes never had a legacy to uphold or people to please. it’s just been him.
sorry i hi insane over names… jay’s family name severely affects her life, gillion's titles and honor affect his life, and chip has none of that weighing him down. but at the same time, having nothing to his name and no one to know him by makes him want more. a legend or legacy.
'i can't lose you again' and navyseal :P (hehehe evil angst potential)
holding u thank you so much i am cherishing this forever......
anyways uhhh heres 1k words i wrote bc i went insane ^_^
i might end up expanding on this and editing it more to post on ao3 :p i only ran this through grammarly lol. enjoy navyseal angst!!!!!
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“This will work, Jay. Trust me on this.”
She swallowed, trying to force down the growing pressure in her throat and behind her eyes. She still held right onto Gill’s arm. He could jerk her arm away if she wanted to, but Gill didn’t. He was going to wait for Jay to make her decision first.
Hee breath shook as she exhaled.
“Gill, I’m not-“ Her voice cracked, and she shut her mouth, trying to stop the tears. “I’m not going to let you go. I mean, we barely know anything about that stupid tip you got.”
They were still looking for Felipe, but their search had been futile until Gillion found… someone. He was a strange man, but swore he had a way to locate their friend. And he did, but it wasn’t pretty. It was dangerous, and Jay wasn’t willing to take that risk.
Gill’s eyes danced between Jay and the doorway in which the man was waiting for her. Jay could see his distress clear on her face and Jay was no doubt crying. She could feel her tears well-up and slip away. She couldn’t risk this. She couldn’t risk Gillion when they had no plan and Chip was nowhere to be found.
“Please, Gill,” she pleaded. Her hands trembled, and her grip loosened.
Gillion still didn’t move at all.
His gaze returned to Jay, and her face was pained. His ears were splayed wide, and a frown tugged on his lips.
Good, she wanted to say, Stay with me, please.
“Jay,” Gillion whispered, “I have to save Felipe. It’s… It is my fault he is lost.”
“No, it isn’t!” She was crying now. And she should be ashamed because they were in the street and people were staring. She couldn’t care at that moment.
“It’s not your fault and- and if anything, it’s mine and Chip’s for talking so god damn loudly.”
She took his hand, gripped it as tightly as she gripped her bow, and turned Gill to face her. He was distressed, and she was emotional, and she was so beautiful.
She raised her hand and gently cupped Gill’s face in her palm. Her skin was smooth, and damp as always, and Jay traced the colored ridges with her thumb.
She cared about him. She cared about her too deeply. She was meant to be a spy, destined to betray them. And she had. Her hands still shook when she picked up her bow.
She swallowed, and her lungs ached. “I can't lose you again.”
Gillion’s brows furrowed.
“But Jay, you have never-“
“I have!” She was fully crying now, and she let go of Gill’s face to wipe her tears.
“You have left us, whether you wanted to or not, but you still did. I didn’t-“
Jay gasped in a poor attempt to compose herself. She had disappeared before her eyes, and they were forced to continue onwards as if nothing had changed. There was an emptiness without his boisterous cheers to fill the silence. Plain air where there should be a shoulder for her to rest her hand on. A hand to hold.
“We didn’t know if you were even alive, Gill. It was just- It was horrible. I couldn’t breathe, but you were just… gone.” She moved her fingers to interlock them with Gill’s. His hands were soft and speckled with callouses. She squeezed them tight. She didn’t want to let go of her.
“Chip was the only reason I got through that carnival without you. And I don’t want to go through that again. Please, don’t make me go through that again.”
She kept her eyes glued to their interlocked hands. She wasn’t good at this. She wasn’t good at caring or being true to her feelings. She couldn’t let Gillion go so easy, not when she could stop it. She didn’t know what she would do if Gillion didn’t make it out with them.
Gill sighed a deep rumble from her chest and lifted a hand from Jay’s. She let it guide her head until she met Gill’s eyes. She still looked down to meet his gaze, but sometimes she forgot how small Gill really was. She distracted everyone with her confidence and sacrifices. It was easy to see past once you truly saw him. Her eyes were big, and warm, and melancholy. His ears were flipped down. For a moment, he looked guilty. But they breathed together in unison, and Jay wanted to hold him forever.
She wanted to ignore the war between the Navy, pirates, and the Undersea. She wanted to sail with the person she cared for too much for her own good. She wanted to learn everything there was to know about her. His hands were cold and damp, but the contact filled Jay head-to-toe with a warmth she was so new to.
Gill swallowed once, twice, and gave a tiny nod.
“Okay,” he murmured.
Hope soared in Jay’s chest, and she smiled. It was somber and by no means perfect, but it was a smile. It was temporary safety.
“I…” Gill paused, eyes flickering to their tangled hands. “I don’t want to cause you stress, and I do not want to lose you either, of course. We’ll stick together.”
Jay nodded, and her tears continued to pour. She was too in love for moments like these. She was too in love for their lifestyle. There would come a time they couldn’t stall or form a concrete plan but were forced to face the hardships. The prophecy and the Navy’s plans loomed darkly in the horizon, a warning of what was to come. For now, however, Jay would rather look into Gill’s eyes than the horizon.
