#someone save rose

[cloudauditorefair]

Can you expand a bit on how Rosalie has mini gay strokes on satellite?

Sure!

So, let’s see, I’m having fun because in chapter 20 of Black Star, Rosalie says, “I’m sure in some reality built upon my suffering, you two are disgustingly in love and I hope it makes alternate-me equally sick.” about Alice and Bella and I decided to make an inside joke of Satellite being that reality. Except Rose is totes fine and not suffering, despite her dramatics lol

Rosalie is not heterosexual and she is not blind. Bella’s her Wife From Another Life (lol) and they are close and play games with each other and Rose likes to push Alice’s buttons. Plus, Bella is fun. Buuuut in one of their games, Bella decides to take the cake (note my phrasing, this is a joke for when it happens) and one-ups the fuck out of Rosalie and she has a mini gay stroke.

Meanwhile Esme almost has a regular stroke.

Probs other incidents of mini gay strokes for poor Rose in the future lol

[cloudauditorefair]

Bella, chilling in the Cullen living room at two am:

Alice, half dangling off the couch: You ever think about how we're just geodes?

Bella: Go the fuck to sleep.

Alice, sitting up: You're the one who should be asleep!

Bella:

Bella: Yeah, but like, some people never get broken open, you know?

Rosalie, outta nowhere: Both of you go to sleep!

Bella and Alice: I can't!

Rosalie: *shrieking*

[cloudauditorefair]

What's the "But I miss you"? I thought I knew all the AU's that you posted about on uer

*here

I don't think you understand how flattering this ask is. You saw something unfamiliar and said, "Nope. New. I would know. Need more info" and I'm asdfghjkl

Tbh you could just call it a New Moon AU but I've definitely run with it and I definitely love it. Runs from angstyy to hurt/comfort with romance and comedy.

(Like Rosalie being supportive but exasperated and Extra)

[cloudauditorefair]

More than once in Black Star before they bone has Bella had one of her earbuds in and was just singing this or something like it under her breath, just VIBING sex, and Rosalie was 100% ready to pitch herself through a wall just to keep from wildly escalating their relationship.

[cloudauditorefair]

I'm not Frank but I have a request? I'm obsessed with the idea of Bella following Rose around school and serenading her. Rose acts annoyed but she loves the attention. Alice is pissed because Bella has a nice voice but refuses to sing with her. Bella just wants Rose to say yes to going to prom so she can stop singing sappy love songs. Human/Vampire?

Honestly the way you phrased this is kind of endearing, like you’re not certain I’d write it. I would’ve already finished and posted it already, but some intense shit happened on Friday and suddenly I’m super stressed about this minimum three car family that works in different sections of the city being down to one car! Fun! And we don’t have money for a single rental! Or Uber! Anyway! Shoot me. Please.

I feel like it’s rude if I just give names to every anon, so I’ll not do that. in retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have done that with Frank. (If you see this, Frank, I’m sorry. That was rude.) But my dear Anon, this is a wonderful prompt/request. It’s so...in character. So wonderful. Rosalie gets to be dramatic and the center of attention and annoy Bella. Bella gets to both annoy and please Rose. Alice is grumpy and shit as a bonus lol

So, I’m writing this right now and I don’t feel it’ll be too long, but I’ll post it either today or tomorrow. Thanks for sending it in!

[cheesytoucans]

Alisha also calls them all by name, but she has to be joking, right? Right?

Alisha is still figuring out how jokes work. She’s 110 percent serious. She memorized all their names and loves them all for their unique gifts and personality's. Rose remembered like 2 of their names. She just calls the rest by asshole number 1, number 2 and so on. 

[thevaliant-child-blog]

|| Bullet Wound || Open ||

Rose clutched her side as she felt the pain run through her, trying to stop the blood. “Oh God….” She groaned, trying to walk down the street, stumbling slightly from the blood loss, her body growing weaker. She needed to find help. Rory? The Doctor? Jack?