#sorry dearest mutual

[foolsocracy]

Something good that's happened to you this week! go! ♡

was neglecting this one last week cause life was hell--- but now i can say school is OVEERRR

[bending-sickle]

6, 9, 15 & 20 for the deep asks!!

6. what is something that you’ve always wanted to do but have never been able to do? - my dad once promised me, after one of our moves, that we'd travel along the coast of california in a trailer. (my mother remembers him promising us we'd have a house with a pool, but that's her memory of a broken promise, not mine.) but so far, my brother has gone touristing california, and my parents have gone touristing too, and i have not set foot there. i don't particularly want to do any of that, but i do still feel cheated of that promise.

on a more serious but related note, what i've really always wanted and have never been able to do, is to lay down roots and be able to call a place a home and think, "yes, i can and will stay here."

9. do you cry? why or why not? - yes. so much. for so many reasons. either it's mental health swirling down the drain, hormones riding the rollercoaster, tides of years of grief and regret coming in, or just particularly cruel words hitting their target. sometimes i don't even know why, my body's just like "it's crying time, babe!"

15. do you prefer to be numb or overly emotional? why? - give me that loving numbness, because then i can at least pretend to be functional. if we don't feel, we don't suffer, yes? at least that's the plan.

20. tell me what you think others think about you. - people who know me personally? probably "god, what a disappointment". people on the internet? hopefully not that. hopefully it's positive.