Downside Up
In the midst of confusion and turmoil, I made a decision that changed my life forever. I decided to go to the School of Supernatural Life at Grace Center. Ever wondered what it is like going from a dark green room to the light of full stage? Well this was not that experience. Looking back, it seems like an extreme transition, but going through eight months of inner healing and renewal felt more like smelling something yummy baking in the oven and knowing that one day I would get to taste the dish. I took it out a few times during the year and burned my tongue on the hot, meaty food that wasn't quite done. So I put it back in the oven and let it cook some more. And whatever happened to me in England, whatever was started in the months before, it has made all the difference. I can point to a few pivotal moments that felt like jumping into a cold and refreshing lake after roasting in a sauna, but most of the change before, between, and after those moments has been the gradual turning of my heart from internal despair to seeing the face of my Father happily looking at me, cooing even, as he beckons me to take my place in His presence, to know myself as living in and from His heart. It is nothing short of miraculous, the work He has done in me. A year ago I was praying for Him to take my life, to restore me to my poor miscarried child in His courts of praise, but today I can look at my life and say confidently that He has been good to me, that I am happy where I am. I am glad to live in a sketchy part of town, next to a bridge that houses the homeless and a hospital that tries to free the sick from their burdens. I gladly take my helpless dog on a twilight run down my busy road, and I joyfully watch the glory of the setting sun over this land, brilliantly declaring His handiwork as the giant ball of fire rises on another side of the planet. I am glad to be me, and I've finally realized that is something worth rejoicing over. So God, I'm in. Whatever You have for me, whatever You are planning, wherever You are taking me, I'm in. Let's take this meat pie out of the oven together and enjoy the fruits of this year. Come join me at my table, Father of Lights, as I savor Your untold goodness and dream of the days to come. :)









