#soulaligned

[tedtm]

@soulaligned: "I don't understand what you think I did wrong."

and that's the problem, isn't it? duke can't understand it because duke is smart, he's logical, he knows things. he knows he did nothing wrong, he knows he's done nothing but support ted. how is ted supposed to explain that that's the problem? how is he supposed to explain that he's pushing duke away because he's good for him? admitting to self sabotage certainly isn't on the agenda, even if the truth is obvious. the stench of vodka on his breath, the over emphasized gestures, the slight slur to his speech. no matter how good ted may be at hiding things, he can't hide the alcohol in his system.

"you don't understand? you don't understand?" repeated in a tone that toes the line between anger and laughter, as if having a conversation with himself, processing out loud. ted doesn't have many thoughts about his coping mechanisms, doesn't think much about if what he does is healthy. he's not really concerned with his own actions, always too focused on everyone else, on how they react, on what they think. he's had plenty of thoughts about duke, spiraling towards obsessing over the man, idolizing what he's decided is a picturesque view of perfection. duke is a good man. ted knows this more than he knows anything else. from the beginning he has been on ted's side, he has fought for ted. he has seen ted at his worst and still staunchly believed in his goodness. duke believes he is someone worthy of saving, believes that who he is is enough. something about that just infuriates ted to no end. how can a guy be so perfect? how can he have his shit so sorted and see the best in people? how can he spend every day in this shitty town and not go absolutely fucking insane?

"y'know what i don't understand?" the anger creeps into his voice, his self hatred being projected outwards, towards one of the very few good relationships he has. wouldn't things be easier if he didn't have this bond? wouldn't it be better for everyone if he disconnected entirely, wallowed in his pity elsewhere and let everyone else live their happy perfect lives? he's sure dukes life would be a hell of a lot easier if ted didn't keep calling him, keep dragging him around off the clock to convince himself that he's still a good person, that the kid duke met is still who he is. can duke see how the world has changed ted? has he noticed the light leave the mans eyes over the years? has he watched ted and wished the boy he used to be would come back? does he ever think maybe it would've been better off if he never helped ted in the first place? "i don't understand why the fuck you're still here."

[bongoedu]

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[numerology-reading]

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[numerology-reading]

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[growthgrindtv]

The Love That Finds You.

Sustainable love often emerges not from pursuit, but from alignment. Individuals who consistently operate with emotional depth, generosity, and resilience tend to attract relationships that mirror those qualities.Psychologically, healthy partnership feels “effortless” not because it lacks effort, but because both individuals share compatible values, communication styles, and emotional maturity. There is minimal friction caused by insecurity or ambiguity.The perception of “How did I deserve this?” typically reflects internal growth meeting external compatibility. When self-worth expands, relational standards shift — and aligned partners become visible.Healthy love is less about intensity and more about congruence.

[tedtm]

@soulaligned: you're ted, aren't you?

hearing the boy say that makes something flicker inside of him, something shifts that he hadn't known was out of place. a look of recognition flickers across his face, body straightening as he moves to look peter in the eye. its as if he doesn't trust this, as if it's some kind of trick. his head sways as he studies pete's eyes, searches for hints that the boy in front of him isn't what he appears to be. but he doesn't see that yellow fur, doesn't hear that awful laugh, doesn't feel the air shifting around him. the relief is evident even before he processes it, a happiness in his eyes not seen since that one fleeting moment in 2004. and god, does that feel like a lifetime ago now. he doesn't remember his life before, not really, his brain a haze of all the things that had happened since, all that had been shown to him when he looked into the box. ted, as peter knew him, was long gone. that man had died with jenny, and the man in his body had barely been shuffling through life in the years since, scraping up whatever money he could for food or drugs to ease the pain. he'd tried so hard for so long to help pete, but ted - young ted, real ted, had shut it down every time. he never stopped trying, but when that ted vanished… well, by then he'd already been a little too far gone, out of his mind and high as a kite, he kept surviving for reasons he couldn't even remember anymore. he couldn't remember why 2019 had been important, he couldn't remember why that ted vanishing was the key. he couldn't remember what he needed to save himself. but oh, he remembered pete. he watched him, saw the things he did in his brothers absence. pete and his friends were scared of him, he knew as much. most people were. so he stopped interfering, assumed that he would never see the boy again. until now. he's older than he should be, though ted doesn't remember how old he should be. in truth, he stopped counting the years long before he forgot the importance of them. but none of that matters now that pete is in front of him. he says his name, he talks to him like a person, and it's like things come flooding back. nothing concrete, nothing useful, but just an internal knowledge. he is ted. he had spent years watching ted and pete and not knowing why, just knowing he was drawn to him, and now suddenly so much makes sense. he softens as he looks the boy over, calloused and dirty hand raising to cup his cheek, to test reality, to know that he's actually there and he actually knows who he is. “petey.” whispered softly, the old man's voice shaking as he speaks. he never thought this day would come, had never considered it an option. ted never thought he'd get to hold his baby brother again.

[tedtm]

@soulaligned: you'll never get what you want.

the homeless guy has always been a bit of a thorn in his side. they haven't interacted much, ted tries to avoid it mostly, but there's been a few times the guy got too close to pete and ted couldn't help the way he reacted. they certainly don't talk much, usually incoherent attempts to explain himself on the homeless guys part, and ted never really cares to listen to all that. but there's something different in the way he speaks now. whether its what he says or how he says it ted has no idea, but it makes him stop in place. it makes him actually stop and interact with the guy without the pretense of wanting a fight. not that it makes it a much more pleasant interaction, considering some part of ted is always looking for a fight. especially one he can win. or at least, he hopes he can win. “oh yeah?” he approaches almost maliciously, ready to turn this into some big dramatic fight. he leans in as if trying to egg him on, trying to make him lunge. after all, ted certainly can't start the fight. it doesn't look good to just randomly attack the local homeless guy who doesn't even do anything bad. other than get too close to pete, that is. “and what is it that i want, old man? huh? what is it you think i desire most?” of course he doesn't take this seriously, why would he? it's not as if the homeless guy would know anything about him.

[tedtm]

 @soulaligned : “  who  did  this  to  you  ?  ”

he sighs, head turning away as if hiding the bruise from pete would make him stop worrying. he knows better than to think that. he can feel petes worry without even looking at him, knows that he'd find big nervous eyes staring back at him if he dared look to his baby brother. though, the term feels wrong now. they look more like twins, and teds not sure hes ever hated anything more. the fact that he missed pete growing up is something he'd never forgive himself for. he cant help but look back at pete, take in every feature that feels too grown. he does this a lot these days, just stares at him as if it will make things start magically making sense. "It's not what it looks like, okay?" a strong start, something that's gonna calm pete right down. the harsh bruising still stings a little, though its the ego that hurts most. that, and the way pete looks at him, so full of worry. "he didn't mean to." but why would pete believe that? no matter how true it is, no matter how much of a misunderstanding it all was. pete wasnt gonna believe that wilbur was innocent in this, wasnt gonna believe he was anything other than evil incarnate.