#souldoubtt2018

[souldoubtt]

to add a little depth

I can not believe that this is where my life had ended up. I’m on the cusp of a journalism career at one of the biggest news organizations in the world. And it’s the public broadcaster of Canada, and just by working there the past few months, I know I can trust their ethics and standards when it comes to delivering stories and news.

I have friends who reach out to me, they are smart, and unbelievably funny, and they care for me and are thoughtful. I truly did not think I would ever, in my life, have friends like I do now. I had absolutely given up on that. 

It came when I had truly given up. 

I’ve received 3 bursaries while in school. Because... what the fuck, Im talented? Or something? I mean, yeah, but fuck it’s hard to give myself credit. I am working on that. 

I’ve spent the summer with my friends, travelling this wonderful province.

I saw Radiohead in Montreal a couple of weeks ago. One of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. 

I’m starting on Weekend Mornings next week, the local music radio show on CBC Halifax. 

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Guys, a year ago, I hadn’t even started school for what I’m doing now. I had yet to meet any of my friends I have now. And I was merely a waitress. 

Life offers you chances. Take them. Know them. 

[souldoubtt]

Montreal is always nice this time of year. Eat my vanity. 

[souldoubtt]

Had a helluva adventure yesterday with my pal Joel.

Swam in a river. Went to a hurtin’ ass petting zoo. Drank at a baseball diamond in the middle of nowhere. Had a night cap with joels parents.

It’s been a pleasant summer so far.

[souldoubtt]

Happening now, more than ever.

I didn’t plan to make all of these individual decisions when I moved from Regina. I figured I should have a broader plan. That would cut on specific disappointments, and I think that’s served me well so far. My plan reached as far as... “Move far away... see what happens when you get there.”

I came to this city for no reason in particular, other than small reasons like it was beside the ocean. It’s a pretty province. And it’s far away from Saskatchewan. 

A year and a half later, i’m almost half way through my course at a college I hadn’t even heard of until 2 weeks before I applied to it. I’m a month away from starting my first (of 3) internships at... shit, i’ll say it, my dream job, CBC. I have created some amazing bonds with people I didn’t know was possible. They’re all so smart, funny, compassionate, loving people. I love them, and they have love for me. And I find that unbelievable. Hard to believe. 

I am making connections everywhere I go. Every sign tells me that i’m exactly where I should be. This is the time to be going exactly where I’m going. 

There’s so many opportunities, that have been discussed, and undiscussed that are ahead. 

I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. 

I know this kind of stuff changes, it goes away, so all I can be is grateful. 

And I am.

[souldoubtt]

I have friends that treat me so kindly, they think about me when they don’t have to, and there’s clear indicators they’re looking out for me... smart, funny, and dark... people. 

i had to travel a long time to find anything like this, and it’s baffling. what’s happening? is this normal? 

i’m grateful for however long this is in my life, i am grateful.