Human/Animal Hybrids
Throughout your career you’ll no doubt find yourself going toe to toe with a variety of different monsters and creatures. One very common subset of monstrous-villain you’ll inevitably find yourself up against are werewolves, half-man, half-wolf, a net-total of 80% hair. But werewolves are not the only kind of animal-human hybrid. Throughout history men have been combined with every manner of beast under the sun (and over! Who can forget Wu Jing, the Ink Blot, half-man, half space-squid).
Werewolves seem to get most of the press and exposure, especially in fiction, because they’re actually the easiest to defeat. Just use some silver bullets. It’s as simple as that. Every superhero should have a few lying around in case of emergency. Just keep a handful in your utility belt. But that only works for werewolves. Well, I mean I guess if you hit the right spot a silver bullet would kill anybody. But they’re only a one-and-done deal when it comes to werewolves. Ditto the moon thing, most were-animals are either always monstrous hybrids, or have the power to change at will. Which is pretty nifty. Were-animals can make pretty formidable foes. We’ve long held the belief that animals, given the proper training, can be far more formidable crime fighters than lame old human beings (and they’re especially more formidable crime fighters than lame young human beings). So when you start mashing humans and animals together you’re bound to get something that can bring the pain in a fight. So how do you fight something like that?
First off, you need to stay up to date on your allergy shots. You don’t want to go down in a fight because you have a sneezing fit every time you’re in close proximity to fur. That would be super embarrassing. Second off, when fighting a were-human you need to take advantage of the fact that they’re part animal. Keep in mind that in this form their more animalistic instincts will be heightened. Use that to your advantage. If they’re part carnivore, like a were-lion or were-mongoose then they might be easily distracted by something as simple as a big juicy steak. Which sure, you probably won’t have on you at all times. But if you’ve got a were-predator in your regular rogues gallery it might not be a bad idea to keep some raw meat in your utility belt, as gross as it may sound. The alternative is sending me money to fund my research into inta-meat pellets! Insta-meat pellets: For when you want meat, instantly. [Insta-meat is not to be confused with insta-meet, which is when you meet somebody in the comments section of an Instagram post and then become best friends and/or lovers who become traveling stage magicians.]
If your enemy is part insect consider investing in a comically large fly swatter or, if you’re one of those heroes that doesn’t have a regular phone number forcing people to shine a giant light into the sky to get your attention, you might want to consider having your allies switch it on in order to distract these buggy baddies. If your enemy is part herbivore the insta-meat trick won’t work but, lucky for you, herbivores are like super into grass. Just redirect the fight to a field and let their overwhelming hunger (and four distinct stomach compartments if they’re part cow) do the work for you. If your villain is part fish (and not in the way that would scientifically classify them as a merperson, that’s outside the purview of this particular post) then try the time-tested method of getting out of the water!
If your opponent is part bird then I recommend going for the wings. Chances are 90% of their combat style makes use of them in some form or another and you gotta imagine that a person who decided they wanted to be part blue jay planned on being able to fly. So taking out their wings will go a long way to winning the battle. They’ll be in pain, caught off guard and unprepared and probably be hella disappointed.
It also might behoove you to do a little research on the particular animal your enemy has merged with. (I used the word behoove because this is a post about animals!) Especially if you’re going to come up against them again. Learn about the animal’s ideal living conditions, habits, diet, and general likes and dislikes (most species of animals have a catchall social media profile that details all this stuff for your reading convenience). Learning all of this information will help you to better strategize and fight your furry foe the next time you go toe to talon with them. This will allow you to gain the advantage in hand to paw combat. With any luck you’ll be able to send them running off with their tail between their legs.
And remember, there are plenty of superheroic were-animals out there too. If you find yourself going up against a hybrid miscreant that’s giving you a rough time, feel free to reach out to them for pointers or even a good old fashioned team-up.