{{{His mind goes silent. Your senses dull. A familiar presence fills the emptiness instead.}}}
So cruel of them. How lucky that you have me.
{{{You almost hear her distant laughter. She's muffling his senses like putting hands over his ears.}}}
Poor little virtue.. Don't worry. I'll stay for a while.
(Spamton slumps from relief, soaking in the blissful quiet. It's a nice reprieve, one he very much needed.)
* ...You helped me.
(He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth; of course She helped! Why wouldn't She? What a silly statement. He should be embarrassed, wasting her time like this. He could have handled it! He should have! He must look pathetic to Her.)
Father, I have learned to communicate. I have so much to ask you father. Father, what is a "Ms.Pipis"? What is a "Divorce"? Father what happened to my siblings? What is a "TVDinner"
(Spamton flinches at the Pipis forming words, and slowly turns to face it, a horrified expression on his face.)
* WELCOME!! WELCO ME [To my Garden of] SPAMTON!!!!
HEYHEYHEY!!! YOU'RE A [Curious Critter], AREN'T YOU?! I KNOW THAT [[Look at me!]], ADM1T IT!!! EVERY ONE OF YOU WNTS A PIECE OF SPAMTON!!?
WELL.
I HAVe. [[Good news]].
I HAVe. A N [Investment Opportunity].
JUST. FOR YOU.
YOUU GIVE ME [No such thing as a stupid question]. AND I. GIVE > YOU. [[Hyperlink Blocked]]. WHADDOYA SSAY, [ChumBucket]?!? WILL YOU TAKETH3DEAL?
SEND %ME MAIL NOW AND RECIEVE [[Riches aplenty]]!!!!!
GET THE INSIDE SCOOP BELOW: 🍝
Yeeeaaahh its a Spamton ask blog because I fell back into my old brain worms LOL. Welcome! Call me Fizz, I run this account. Baby's first ask blog! If only my mama could see me now!
Very simple rules below!!
No serious NSFW. Joking is fine, but I'm a minor.
I'm not huge on ships since I'm aromantic and romance-repulsed (and, I can't emphasize this enough, A Minor) but I do engage in 1 (one) OC x canon ship because it's really really funny (and if you'd rather not see that, filter out "HEAVENLYVIRTUE" in the tags!) - I also enjoy most Spamton ships but dislike Spamton x any Addison.
Serious and joke responses.
Dumpster Era Spamton (post-fame, pre-neo - before the Lightners arrive).
Please don't be too mean to Spamton! I know this one is silly, and that he deserves to be bullied. I'm sorry! I am just a little sensitive and it is not fun for me to open my askbox to see a bunch of threats every day LOL.
Keep in mind this will not be entirely canon-accurate!! I am prioritizing having fun over accuracy!!!
TAG GUIDE:
SPAMTON SPEAKS - post tag
MAIL DELIVERY - ask tag
REPLY2EMAIL - RP reblog tag (aka rp threads? not sure how to refer to them.)
FORWARD EMAIL - reblog tag
INSIDE SCOOP - ooc tag
KILL YOUR TV - tenna neg
KILL YOUR JESTER - jevil neg
SPAMLORE - LORE IMPORTANT posts!!
THE BLOG LORE SO FAR:
Spamton has FOUR exes, but two notable ones, Tenna (@/ask-tenna) and Jevil (@/ask-the-chaoschaos). He has a truce with Jevil for their kid's sake (see below paragraph). After having some clarity knocked into him by some anons, he's realized he's made some mistakes with those two. Instead of apologizing, he's avoiding them and anything about them like the plague. Only the most mature course of action for Spamton G. Spamton!
Spamton has THREE kids! Two (@/ask-a-pipis & @/audience-rpblog) are adopted*, while one (@/mrpipis) is from HIS timeline!!! He is neglectful towards all but Audience, and that's because he's a little afraid of her. Sad...
*Pipi is technically his kid, just not from his timeline. That detail doesn't really matter to Spamton, though!
Spamton met Audience's mom, Soul, a goddess who gave him a free house and some money! He's... normal about their whole situationship. Very normal.
As we are right now, Spamton is in a better living situation, but he's still not doing very well mentally. Having another eldritch benefactor isn't doing him any good in the sanity department, and neither is being so isolated... :^(
(Also, didn't know where to squeeze it in, but Spamton has FRIENDS!!! Or, well. He hasn't talked to them in a hot minute thanks to the whole Soul thing, but they're worth mentioning anyway. @/tellure-lennet & @/relifaker!! Love those guys...)
I'll do my best to TW & CW properly as well as to add spoiler warnings. If I don't reply, I'm either: thinking of a reply, Can't Reply without breaking the "canon" of the blog, or it just made me uncomfortable, but I trust you all to be respectful. Please be patient, it takes me a bit of time to keep my replies as accurate to canon as I can manage. That's all! Ask away!
{{{He feels a familiar presence around him. The stable pressure of Her being near appears. However, this time, he can describe it- he's experienced it now. It's like being cupped in Her hands. She seems in a particularly good mood.}}}
Greetings, virtue! How have you been? Your sudden influx of prayers have been lovely- This is the best I've felt in the last century!
{{{She laughs, the sound addicting and just a little more incomprehensible that normal- seems Her power really has increased.}}}
I do hope that you're keeping yourself healthy.. I wouldn't want My favorite virtue to get sick, would I?
(It takes Spamton a moment too long to process her being there, and longer to process her words. His voice is raspy and strained, like he hasn't spoken in days.)
