#spamsadventuredaycare

[jackie-and-gecko]

Roll up Roll up folks! Boy do we have a treat for y’all today, Spamton Prime has secured a fine pedigree batch of Pipis that have produced a few fancy Spamling variants, some of which are displayed here today! 🪺

🩵 Filipe is a Specil type of micro variant known as a Spamangel or Miniton. This type of Spamling is absolutely adorably tiny and has working lil’ angelic wings that let her zip around your apartment looking for pennies, snacks, spare change, and a good ol’ tickle! Filipe is one of the most affectionate Spamangels we’ve come across and she just loves to play fetch with coins and lint. You have to be super careful with these Minitons as they’re quite fragile (liable to be sat on), but despite their high market price they’re very cheap to maintain given their small size. You can buy a dolls house and it’s like a mansion! Filipe is for sale for ¥800 Kr0mer

💙 Kronk is what’s known as an Iron Jaw Spamling. These fellas are particularly ahhh……bitey. They have the capacity to crush down cans and smalls tools/scrap for recycling and food, they typically have a much stronger jaw than other Spamlings and are one of the few variant breeds that can be used as Guard Spams. They’ll never apply full pressure to your fingers, but boy does Kronk love to chomp on people’s hands and feet! He’s a loveable lad and ADORES being pampered and snuggled, but he WILL bite you every time (it’s how he shows love). Kronk is for sale for ¥200 Kr0mer

🪺 Hamilton is…well let’s just say he’s one of the most Specil boys we have in at the moment ✨ Folks, this is a Pipis Primadonna ✨ This variant is top of the line and Spamton Prime places a high value on their brand. Pipis Primadonnas will only eat the finest gourmet Pipis and food presented to them, they use the high nutritional value to make their fluffy coats as shiny and gorgeous as possible. PPD’s are one of the most handsome variants around, and Hamilton is at the top - he’s very loving and looking for someone to spoil him as he deserves it! Hamilton is for sale for ¥2000 Kr0mer

💎 Lily-Beanz is the odd one out today, being a rescue Spamling and just a regular guy! Very affectionate and playful, he is an absolute gossip and will 100% spread your credit information if you aren’t careful! Likes butt scritches, fetch, and yapping on the phone (no one has to be on the other end 😅). Lily-Beanz is for sale for ¥100 Kr0mer

[jackie-and-gecko]

Hi! You’re pictured BOB Spamton’s are very cute! I’m willing to put in the effort of adopting them!

How much for them?

Howdy! Thanks for getting in touch - the two B0Bs are 30 Kr0mer a piece or 50 for the pair!

As a [Specil] Sunday deal, Spamton Prime is willing to let them both go for 45 Kr0mer if you “D3AL ACCEPTED [sign contract here] NO REFUNDS [takebacks!] or [ol’ switcharoo]!!”

Better get in quick, Bologna Sandwich saw us talking about adoption and he got really excited! He’s not smart enough to know it’s him, but he managed to notice a sock in the picture you replied to and I think his tiny brain is hoping he’ll finally get picked up 😅 Craig has not noticed and is scrunching around in the dirt outside….

[jackie-and-gecko]

So uh, for the Spamton Daycare, where do you guys get all the Spamton's from? Are they rescued off the streets or from bad households?

It’s a mix honestly! Some are donated after their owners pass, some are abandoned on our doorstep, some are bought as Pedigree Show Spams by the Big Shot himself.

Some, people just find in their gardens or bird houses, like this lil’ dude! (Barry was soon caught and given a hot bath and some snacks before we took him in)

We do occasionally get calls from people reporting bad conditions, but mostly they come to us directly 🙂

[jackie-and-gecko]

Do you have any young Spamtons? Like what would be considered a kitten or a puppy?

We sure do!

May I present our current batch of snoozy and curious Spamlets ✨ (1-3 months old)

Much like a Spamling,they are very small in size, but Spamlets (or Spuppies as some patrons affectionately call them) are still growing into their white fur, Dealmaker Glasses, and grey coats (what people often think is their T-shirt).

Spamlets are known for two things, Napping and Zoomies! They love to play and explore their environment, often rubbing themselves on furniture and rough surfaces to remove any loose hair, but also just to experience different feeling materials. When they’re all tuckered out, they like nothing better than a good Snork Mimimirmi, and spend roughly 18 hours a day sleeping or napping.

This is the stage when you can tell which Spam is going to be a future Big Shot, or a lifelong lazybones! If your Spamlet naps for 20+ hours a day even after shedding their cream-coloured fur, then you have a chronically lazy Spamling on your hands 🤣

Spamlets are up for In-house adoption, for around €50 Kr0mer (rising if they turn out to be a Specil Variant). This means you can visit them during opening hours, but can’t take them home until the 6 month window of growth into Spamling is complete. For trusted owners and long time foster carers, we can waive this window.

[jackie-and-gecko]

So, do Spamlings have problems with other pets? I would like to adopt one but I have a Jevil that was given to me by a friend when they moved away. I’m not sure if they would get along…

Sorry for the late reply, we’ve just had a new shipment of Discount Pipis - some great new Spamlings on the way so watch this space for a lil’ selection when they hatch!

To answer your question: it depends entirely on the pet! All Jevil aren’t built equally and some (like the lil €$¥§£ pictured here) will go STRAIGHT for your poor Spammy and bitebitebiteBIteBITE!

Now, we can’t paint all Jevils with the same brush, some are super friendly and loving to their cohabiting Spamling. We recommend that you slowly introduce them to each other, much like you would a cat! Start by taking an item they play with and seeing how the other pet reacts to the scent - if it’s at all aggressive, it probably won’t work well sorry 😔

When you’ve worked with smells for the first week, you can have them in adjacent rooms so they can get used to noise and proximity. This will be the time when your Spam will probably be doing a Big Sniff, especially around the door and walls of where the Jevil or Addison is. All Spams use smell by default, so it’s very important to let them snuffle out a vibe before moving on to same-room practice.

This typically starts by having both on a leash at opposite ends of the room, or hold them tightly with a friend. Don’t worry if they freak out initially, it’s totally normal! Your Spamling may let out some really loud static noise or advertising cries, but this should stop after a minute. You should know if future success is possible after this time, then you can progress slowly with physical touch and shared food 🙂

Let us know if this helps and hope your lil guys get on well!

[jackie-and-gecko]

Hmmm... I could never refund a spam! I'll choose a blue ball and make number will be 1! Here's the 10 kr0mer!

💸

🤲

Thank you [valued customer]!!

DING DING DING - We have a lucky winner! 🏆

You are now the proud owner of Cherry-pie, a Blue-Cheeked PipiSpam. You must be a fortunate soul as this is quite a rare variant, valued at over €400 Kr0mer! (Spamton Prime is quite grumpy losing so much profit…)

The Blue-Cheeked PipiSpam is an apt name, as this Spammy forages for Pipis to store in their large cheeks, which over time leads to their distinctive blue tint. Cherry-pie, like many of their species, is quite short sighted - they use their oversized sniffer to root out the freshest Pipis 🪺

Congratulations

[jackie-and-gecko]

Hey, I was wondering... I'd like to adopt a spamton but I was wondering if you could give me a random one instead of me picking. It sounds odd but i just don't think I could pick myself.

Oh boy you’re in lucky buddy! Spamton Prime recently bought a (definitely not secondhand) Bingo spinner to use for this exact situation 😃

Pay €10 Kr0mer, choose a coloured ball and a number between 1-10 and you’ll land yourself a random Spam!

The only catch is that you are *legally obligated* to take your “prize”, no refunds as the boss says!

[jackie-and-gecko]

Hey hey ~ what kind of variants does the Spamton adventure daycare sell??? What’s the most expensive/popular spam and what’s the cheapest one to buy/adopt?

Good question!

Spamton Prime values some of the more pedigree Spamling variants quite highly. Something like a “Pipis Prima[donner]” or a “Cungadero Red Specil” are pretty rare and cost between 600-1500 Kr0mer, though he’s reluctant to show them off to ‘increase mystery’ around the brand (we have a few similar variants due to come in any day soon though, so I’ll snap some pictures).

The cheapest is by far what we call the B0Bs, the Bottom of the Barrel Spams. In one way or another, they’re even dumber than regular Spamlings, usually to an annoying level that can cause owner irritation or property damage. Pictured are Craig and Bologna Sandwich for an example. They’ve become convinced they can be worms by crawling around in socks, usually falling off tables and knocking over lamps or breaking glasses in the process. B0Bs typically can’t feed themselves well or overeat on bad stuff like plastics or copper wire, they do seem to love baths though so can be cute! ☺️

Fostering any non-pedigree Spammer is free of charge, and fostering pedigree variants is 10 Kr0mer a month (rising to 20 after 6 months) - though they can be paid for via finance plan this way.