#spenser academy

[iluvrambling]

I used to be the protagonist!

Flink: My part in the story is so much smaller now.

Joel: Are you sad?

Flink: No, not really. At least I’m not the assassin this time.

Joel: What?

Flink: You don’t remember? Imperial Russia, I was trying to kill that evil Admiral who was skinning mermaids to make himself immortal?

Joel: WHAT?

Flink: You played the violin. We had a daring escape from the Palace on a sledge drawn by six horses.

Joel: … why does this sound familiar?

Flink: It was a lot of fun. And your music is beautiful.

God: I can arrange a daring escape for you two later, but Admiral Stepanovich….

Stepanovich: *screams in agony and rage*

Flink: Oh, he’s still being punished? Good.

Joel: Wait, what?

[iluvrambling]

Content Warning: Yes

This story contains: sex, magic, angels, sugar, demons, chocolate, alcohol, irreverence, swearing, oaths, alternative lifestyles, death, accidents, traumatic events, violence, suicide, unpleasant situations, dark humor, and some other stuff I have probably forgotten, as well as people dealing with the aftermath of all of the above. It's also written in a third person limited omniscient perspective. With all that out of the way: Welcome to Spenser!

[iluvrambling]

Spenser Academy Sidestory: A Better Idea

God: Stop changing the channel! I was watching that.

Michael: I know You think it’s funny, but it’s not. You should give him one of his own.

God: Why? This is fun!

Michael: Because he’s one of mine, and watching him suffer like this is basically torture.

God: Nonsense.

Lucy falls from the sky and lands on Michael.

Lucy: WHAT THE FUCK?

God: This is torture. I’m going to look around in my spares and see if I have a good one to stick to your descendant. You two have fun.

[iluvrambling]

Spenser Academy Sidestory: Postscript

Lucifer: Heh, get a load of Taylor! Isn't that awesome?

God: Wait, you're not allowed to do that!

Lucifer: What? I'm talking about the sex. Look at him, just getting down and dirty right in the entryway. Not even making it to a bed. Or a couch! That shit is hot.

God: Oh. Yeah, I guess. Can you turn down the buffs you slapped on him though? It's really unbalanced.

Lucifer flips Him the finger.

Lucifer: Fuck no. It stays.

God: Whatever. Holy shit! Is he hard again? What is he made of? Wait, why am I asking you?

Lucifer: So hot.

God: I hate it when you confuse Me.

[iluvrambling]

Spenser Academy Sidestory: Final Exams

God: Hey, someone get Ravel up here. And Debussy.

Michael (groans): Not this again.

God: No, this is different. The kid is playing!

Michael: What?

Gabriel rushes in.

God: I'm still mad at you, you know.

Gabriel: Don't care, he's playing.

[iluvrambling]

Spenser Academy Sidestory: State of Grace

Michael: Should he be doing that?

God: It's fine.

Michael looks at Him strangely.

God: What? It's permitted. I say so.

Michael: What happened to consistent rules applied equally?

Platypus: Yeah, about that....

[iluvrambling]

Spenser Academy Sidestory: Miracles

magic is seen, immediately labeled as a miracle

Humans: Does that mean angels are real too?

God: Yes, but they're forbidden to help you most of the time.

Humans: Wait what?

God: Trust me, it’s funnier this way.

Michael: Your mic is still on. They can hear you.

God: It’s okay, they won’t remember this in a few minutes.

Michael: That one guy will.

Gabriel: Poor guy.

God: So much funnier this way.