Tornado plus fibromyalgia equals major pain
March 3, 2019 started like every other normal Sunday especially the ones that we get to spend with my family 2 hrs away. We had gone to my parents the day before so we could see everyone before my brother's deacon ordination at his church on Sunday. Every thing was going great until we got back in the car after the service. Our phones were in the console so they wouldn't be going off in church. My hubby checked his phone and had multiple calls from his family. He got his mom on the phone and was told we had been hit by a tornado. We made other calls to find out if all the family was ok, was the trailer we live in standing, how much was damaged, could we even get home. So for the most part everyone was fine just shook up, trailer was standing, we definitely had damages to the property, and there was no way possible to get home that night. Sitting in the restaurant eating with my family the news channel was on the t.v. and showing towns around ours who were pretty much leveled or had massive damage. Stress levels were already through the roof not knowing what we would find when we could finally get home; seeing the destruction from neighboring towns just made the tears roll.
Being a spoonie during a natural disaster kinda sucks. I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, anxiety and depression issues, PTSD, migraines, and spine issues. When my emotions get messed up it gets difficult and painful to move around. Driving 2 hrs in constant pain both physically and emotionally is an experience I prefer not to relive often.
We get home there's trees down everywhere, power lines across the road and laying in the yard, power's out of course, porch roof is missing part of it and the missing part is in a tree behind the trailer, a tree narrowly missed our master bed and bath, the carport moved despite being staked down, underpinning on the trailer is well it's very much messed up. We got lucky or rather we were very blessed. Our family members across the road from us had trees on their roofs. Down the road from us looked like a bomb went off. Between our fence line behind our house to the end of our road which is about 9/10s of a mile maybe was the damage zone width. Looking at the destruction made me realize just how blessed we were. The emotions triggered a migraine which triggered my fibro. The temperature didn't help things either because with the tornado came a cold front that dropped the temp to near freezing from being in the mid-70s. I'm very sensitive to temperature and weather changes like most spoonies are.
We got to start cleaning up some the day after the storm when we was able to get through the roads better. My hubby and other family members got busy cutting trees off homes of other family members while I went in our house and packed another bag to go to my parents. Our house was without power for 48 hrs. so our house was extremely cold which didn't help the pain level. We stayed with my parents for 2 more days mainly because it took me 2 days to recuperate from the first trip back home to check on the damages.
We finally got to come home to stay on Wednesday once they got the power back on. It was 58°F in our house! It was COLD! I turned the heat on and me and the dogs cuddled up under a thick blanket in the recliner. When I get cold my body feels like I have knives stabbing me from head to toe, my hands swell and get a slight purple tint to them, putting pressure on my feet sends pain radiating through them and my lower legs which doesn't matter if I'm cold or just tired. When I'm in the amount of pain I was in that day it gets difficult to concentrate kinda like brain fog but a little worse in my opinion. Fibro fog I'm still able to semi-function but that day there wasn't much functioning in my brain. I couldn't process anything whether it from the pain or just the shock of reality I'm not sure. Not knowing what you're coming home to after a storm is very stressful and the stress causes us spoonies a good deal of pain, brain fog, tears, and exhaustion. Once the clean up starts even tho we still have our home when many others do not; it's still exhausting. We started getting a better look at the damages on Saturday when we started really cleaning up instead of just making it passable. I tried to help clean up by picking up limbs and things like that. I lasted til about lunchtime before I was hurting so bad I had to take something for the pain and chill in the recliner. None of you know me very well but for me to break down and take pain meds my pain level is to the point of tears. I hate pain meds with a passion because I can't function or think straight on them in other words they make me incredibly sleepy. So yeah chillin in the recliner means I was out for a few hours.
Not being able to help clean up the place I live or help with family members's homes that were damaged makes me feel like I'm being lazy or like other people view me as lazy. It really bothers me that I can no longer hold out as long as other people. It hurts my feelings and self-esteem to think about how others view me and my lack energy. Most of the time I can push through the pain if I have to but once the exhaustion starts kicking in I'm done. I can't fight through both severe pain and exhaustion together. Other people who don't live with chronic pain and chronic fatigue issues don't always truly understand what we go through on a daily basis. I know I'm probably a bit paranoid about how people view my limitations because I'm actually very hard on myself when everyone around me is working hard like they've been bthe past 2 weeks yet I can't hold out for more than a few hours before I have to rest. It's frustrating having a body that rebels on you at every turn.
