warnings: mentions of drug use and addiction, implied homophobia, Thelma and Gregory are plot relevant, mentions of death and grief
For the first two decades of his life, Mouse lived up to the image that was expected of him.
He was a model student through high school. He had hundreds of volunteer hours on his resumé. He made appearances at every fundraiser and holiday party that cameras were present for, even for holidays he didn’t celebrate. He even turned down an acceptance to MIT so that he could stay in Chicago and start earning the business degree just like his parents wanted him to do. He was a clean-shaven, picture-perfect heir to the family legacy.
For nineteen years, he followed every step of the plan that had been laid out for him. And then, after two semesters of brain numbing classes about accounts and projections, which were only made bearable by friends that had access to weed and whippets and Adderall, he dropped out, and he stopped trying so hard to be something he wasn’t.
A perfect heir would have finished his degree, and married some pretty heiress, and had at least two children, one of them a son to pass on the family name to. He would have taken over the family business and brought even more pride and fortune to the Gerwitz name.
listen... I'm having fun look at these soft losers
“You didn’t have to cook for me.” Jay shook his head while he leaned some of his weight against the counter, biting his tongue to keep his smile small. He would get teased later, of course, but that didn’t mean he wanted to give Mouse more evidence to use against him. “That’s what tonight was about. It’s my turn to take care of you.”
[ send me a 🖋️ and I will add one sentence to my wip ]
in my defense, it is flashback time. and the main part of this fic is set in November. and Jay did, in fact, have to rush Mouse to the hospital again. for a different but similar reason.
November 2011
The door to the room opened so smoothly and easily that Jay could hardly believe it. It didn’t make sense that he had been kept out at all, when it was that easy to break the rules, in the end, and give him access to the sterile space his friend was alone in.
He shouldn’t have been alone at all.
He shouldn’t have been on his own in a freezing cold apartment that he couldn’t afford. He shouldn’t have been sent away from his family home without any support. And maybe Jay should have checked in more, insisted on coming by with food or something like an extra blanket as the weather got colder. The request for space since brunch had been a quiet one, and he felt worse for respecting it with each passing minute.
"The nurses’ station is always staffed. We'll be in and out to keep an eye on him, but you can hit the button when he wakes up if you need anything at all. I’ll make sure his family knows where you find you when they arrive.”
It made sense, with what little funding they could receive, that things would be a little haphazard. That didn’t stop him from trying to clean up and organize everything to the best of his ability whenever he had an extra second.
On one day in particular, Will spent his scarce free time gathering used sheets from the beds so that they could get washed and making the beds up with fresh ones. It was busy work, at best, and he was trying to ignore how much else he wanted to do. He wanted to go back to Med and ask for money again, or call the number that had been saved in his phone for a few months too long, or get someone, anyone, else to pick up a few basic tasks so that all of the volunteers could take it a bit easier.
“you are just full of surprises, huh” for Moustead 🙏🏻
me? writing fluff? for Moustead? in 2023? yes.
"you are just full of surprises, huh"
Jay let the door swing shut behind him when he walked into the apartment, stepping toward the kitchen so that he could set the paper bag in his hand on the counter. It freed up a limb so that he could actually settle into the familiar space, setting his things down. His shoes and duffle bag went by the door, and his keys went on the hook above them - it had been installed specifically for that, so that he wouldn't keep forgetting where they were and being late in the mornings - and he left his jacket on when he heard multiple sets of footsteps coming down the hallway.
Well, there was one set of footsteps. The other sound alongside it was the click that came from paws and claws on the laminate floor.
"Hey. You're home late. Was traffic that bad?"
He smiled to himself while he turned around, looking down at the growing puppy that insisted on sniffing everything they brought through the door. Mouse, as usual, hung back, leaving space between them so that there was no risk of tripping over their newest roommate. That was almost enough to change Jay's expression into a frown, the space, if only because he was home late - usually, they had already eaten and getting into bed, not with anything ridiculous like space between them.
"Traffic always sucks, and I had to drive across town to pick something up. I was stupid, thought it wouldn't add that much time to my commute, but..."
"But, your dinner's cold and I've been yawning for the last hour."
Their expressions were mirrors of each other, gentle smiles in the dim light of the entryway. The moment was quiet enough that they could enjoy it, even with little paws begging for attention from socks and the bottom hems of pant legs. That was how most of their nights were spent recently - in the warm comfort of home, the kind of life neither one of them thought they would get. It was perfect, and he wanted to live in those moments for as long as possible.
"Sorry about that. Would it help if I showed you what I got? It's pretty cool. And it took like three days to actually get my hands on it." Jay knelt down to scoop the small pup up in his arms, black and brown fur tickling his nose while he tried to control the excited squirming. "I got you a little present. And I have an idea of what to name you, how does that sound?"
There was an excited yap of a bark from the small body, and he felt his smile grow in a way that matched the warmth of his boyfriend's voice. "You are just full of surprises, huh... couldn't you have all these surprises when the sun is up?"
"No."
Carrying the puppy into the kitchen, Jay shook his head with a grin. Their newest friend was trying to lean out of his arms to sniff at the paper bag, one of the handles catching on his nose and toppling the bag over when he tried to pull back. It was cute, especially when it ended with a furry face hidden in his chest. He liked that, being a safe place for someone, even if that someone was a fraction of his size and afraid of his own shadow.
"Okay..." Mouse stepped up next to him and reached for the bag, his voice slow and groggy where it filtered through his next yawn. "What name idea do I have to shoot down?"
With a scoff, he quickly shook his head. "You don't think I'd be good at naming a dog? That hurts"
"Jay... I don't trust any idea either one of us has right now. It's late, and I'm sure you stopped thinking the second you left the distract. Which is not an insult, just pattern recognition."
"If you're really that tired, get some mugs out. We can have tea before bed. Oh, and get out the matching ones, because..."
He didn't have time to finish the sentence before the cloth was pulled out of the bag. The dark blue bandana was almost inky in the light coming from the hallway, but the stitching on it was in such a bright yellow that it stood out anyway. RANGER was visible in all capitals, in the same font as the word was on the mugs that he'd been starting to request.
They could all match, like a proper family should.
"I thought keeping him was just a temporary thing, until they found him a permanent home. You said we shouldn't name him, because we'd get attached, and then we'd get really sad when we had to let him go."
"Yeah, but... we both kind of got attached, anyway. And there's no guarantee that they're going to find someone willing to take in a partially trained police dog. What if everyone thinks he's vicious? He'd have to stay with us. And he needs a name if he's going to be here for a while."
He'd been looking down at the dog in his arms while he spoke, watching while he sniffed at the bandana that was being held just out of his reach. It meant he missed the softer smile being aimed at him, and the fonder than usual look in the blue eyes that watched him just as closely as he watched their dog.
"You said you'd been trying to get this for three days. That means you decided at least three days ago that we were going to keep him. And just... picked a name without consulting me."
"Is it a bad name? We can still change it."
Jay lifted his head quickly, panic curling in his stomach until he actually saw the expression on Mouse's face. It was still fond, warm, full of all the love that they could pour into their little home. That was enough to help him relax again, but still something he would have to remember to tell his therapist about the moment of doubt, anyway. That was one of the things he needed to work on, tracking when he got anxious and what caused it and how he could make it easier to handle. Having a dog around was helping with that, actually, and that was something he wanted to discuss with her, too.
"I mean, it's a little menacing for a baby who flunked out of police dog training because he's too friendly. But it means something to us, right? It's perfect. However... it is very late, and I'm tired, so bring Ranger to bed whenever you come. Don't be surprised if I'm already asleep."
"Hear that, baby? You've got a name now."
"Okay. You're going to be annoying about this dog, aren't you?" Mouse shook his head, leaning in long enough to kiss his cheek and then the top of the dog's head with a small smile. "It's adorable. Have fun. Just make sure you eat and actually get some sleep, at some point. And he better be wearing that bandana the next time I see him. That's adorable, too."
Jay leaned in the doorway that marked the separation between the boat's deck and the steps that led to the cabin below it. His body created a shadow over the stairs, one that ended almost exactly outside the small bathroom on board. Since he'd arrived that morning, the door had been closed with warm light peaking out from under it. That wouldn't be completely abnormal, but it had been almost an hour, and there hadn't been any change, and he was starting to worry.
"You know, standing me up would be a lot more convincing if I wasn't meeting you where you live." He shook his head while he started down the stairs and stayed quiet until he was close enough to gently knock on the door. "Hey, are you alive in there?"
"No."
Well, that was just categorically untrue.
Jay sighed and shook his head again, hesitating and shoving his hands into his pockets after a brief moment of quiet. "Are you okay?"
"No."
He frowned and pulled one hand out again, reaching for the handle of the door. When he found that it was unlocked, he pushed the door open just as slowly, and poked his head in. "Do we have to cancel today? We can reschedule if you need to rest."
Greg lifted his head slowly, barely lifting his cheek from the presumably cool porcelain of the bowl. He looked pale, and his lips looked dry, and his eyes were unfocused. He looked miserable, and Jay felt an ache in his chest before the words even reached his ears.
"No... no, I want you to stay, I just..."
Shaking his head, Jay stepped into the bathroom and tried to keep his voice light. He didn't know any of the details, but he did want to help, even if it was just being there. "You're not getting sea sick, are you? Maybe living on a boat is just finally catching up with you."
"Ha ha." Greg frowned at him while putting his head down again, letting out a slow breath. "No. You gave me food poisoning. You and your stupid idea to go to that taco shop last night, when I said we should go to a steakhouse. Now, I've been throwing up for the last three hours."
Jay sat down on the floor near him, his expression shifting into something more sympathetic. If it really was his fault, he should do more than just sit there and keep his boyfriend company. "So you've been here for hours? And you haven't had anything to eat or drink since?"
"No...? I get nauseous when I stand up."
"Okay." Jay took a deep breath and glanced around. "Look... I like your boat, and I know you love your boat, and I'm not saying you shouldn't live here. Just... let me take you to my place for a day or two. You can sleep in a bed that isn't rocking, and I'll make sure you have water or something with electrolytes so that you don't get dehydrated. It's just until you're feeling better."
"...in your bed?"
"Yes, in my bed."
"And you'll be there?"
"Keep it in your pants, Gerwitz. It won't be fun for either of us if you get sick again the second we get under the blankets."
