#splatooshy

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TVD textposts & memery

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denzo stuff from various AUs

“This is so gay.” Damon says, though he makes no move to extract himself from Enzo’s arms.

“Most of the things we do are.”

—

“I find it hard to believe you don’t want me,” Damon calls out over the shower. The murky brown water spirals down the drain like a weight lifted off his shoulders. “You’re definitely not straight, and I know what I look like.”

Enzo rolls his eyes as he brings a pile of towels into the bathroom. “I’m not interested in taking advantage of someone who needs a place to stay.”

Damon yanks the curtain open, revealing himself in all his naked glory. He shakes his hair from his face and meets Enzo’s eye, who very pointedly holds his gaze. “What if I want you to take advantage of me?” He turns the shower off, droplets decorating his skin as he steps out onto the bath mat and leans in close. “Or perhaps I’ll take advantage of you,” he purrs, very much enjoying the exasperated eyeroll Enzo thinks he can’t see right through.

The man shoves a towel at his chest. “Somehow, I don’t doubt that you will.”

—

Two hours of knowing this guy and he’s already worming his way into Enzo’s heart. He’s like a siren; beautiful, seductive, deadly. The other kind of siren, too: loud, demanding, attention seeking.

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tvd textposts because i cannot be stopped

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sighs in more textpost memey things… plus me memeing my own fic.

also. hattie reveal?? my ipad is shattered (my cat’s fault, little bastard) so i can’t complete it (yet) but i’m v proud of it so far.

@crossedsabers10s can attest to how much control these two have over my writing i hâte their guts stupid little bisexuals fuck.

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what kind of music/artists/bands do you think the scooby gang + the originals would listen to in the early seasons?

OH OH OH

well we know from canon that even without humanity, damon can & will listen to taylor swift without complaint. even though he’s perfectly capable of compelling a music change.

& he listens to depeche mode so he’s automatically cool.

i think the salvatores have very wide tastes, but not much overlap. stefan loves bon jovi to an unhealthy degree, and would probably have been a BIG beach boys fan back in the day. he’s totally over it now though, those records in his cupboard are purely decorative!! damon would love ABBA, head over heels reminds him of katherine & he uses it to outsource his emotions in his no humanity era. stefan tolerates it for lexi’s sake (damon thinks it’s unfortunate that he and lexi have similar music taste. it’s probably the only thing he likes about her). also the cure.

i think stefan cries to bon iver’s ‘roslyn’.

both stefan and damon would be into stevie nicks & florence + the machine & paramore & david bowie (damon in fact knew him rather well back in the seventies…) but in totally different ways. damon loves anthems & grooves, discordant sounds and triplet beats, while stefan digs a good beat & steady rhythm. with a fabulous guitar riff ofc.

bonnie is also a big paramore girly. also hozier. i think she and damon bond over similar music tastes.

caroline listens to taylor swift (fearless is her fav, red & 1989 are 2&3), one direction, jonas brothers, miley, britney etc. she bullies politely asks jeremy to let her use his tech stuff to make her own mixes. she also has a hot pink boombox that she takes to every cheer practice. it’s covered in stickers that won’t come off no matter how hard she tries. yes, vampire strength has been applied.

elena spent the three months between the crash & stefan blasting dean lewis in her bedroom. hozier, bon jovi to seem cool to stefan, janis joplin, probably some british pop like dexys midnight runners, ed sheeran, bastille. but that’s a secret she’ll take to her grave.

jeremy listens to 21 pilots, mcr, p!atd, bleachers (later seasons tho. don’t think they existed til 2015 or something), the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, fallout boy, etc. probably listens to sheppard on repeat. geronimo just really speaks to him, okay?! absolutely does not copy damon’s taste in music, that’s just a coincidence!!! he’s also the source of elena’s secret love for british pop.

matt listens to elevator music. nah he just plays whatever’s on the radio. my truck is my girlfriend & my dog has fleas kind of country music? idk.

tyler has all of those mix cds like sofresh, each 00s / 90s genre, really does not care what he listens to as long as he can nod his head along.

alaric listens to 80s rock in a dad way & whatever damon plays because damon has dj rights everywhere & will push his way onto the aux.

not really in the gang but katherine listens to male manipulator music. and female manipulator music like ethel cain, fiona apple, etc.

the originals?

klaus listens to smooth jazz. and instrumental covers. he’ll text stefan a link to the lamest love song ever (instrumental) with the caption ‘this is our song’.

kol also listens to smooth jazz, but in a cool way. as well as 00s pop. he and rebekah fight over who discovered what song first. he would absolutely LOVE musicals. has the glee & hamilton soundtracks on his little ipod. BOY BANDS OMG kol has a backstreet boys poster confirmed. also 90s-00s hip hop / rap / pop hybrids. especially nelly furtado.

OH OH THE SHREK SOUNDTRACK. that’s his jam fr fr.

rebekah is a speak now girly through and through. ‘innocent’ is literally her song. she’s just so taylor swift. she would LOVE suki waterhouse, but that’s not for another few years. OH WAIT REBEKAH’S CANONICALLY ALIVE IN 2024. she absolutely listens to chappell roan and it DEFINITELY does not make her think of hayley, why would you say that???

elijah listens to eight hour long symphonies and concertas, but won’t complain if one of the others is hogging the aux. he will not be so childish as to dagger his siblings over music disputes, (klaus), or break their arms (rebekah), thank you very much. he only demands control of the music when damon’s trying to seduce him (succeeding), because elijah knows how to woo & be wooed in return. that includes the romantic playlist. also, damon has a very annoying habit of singing along & playing air guitar when the bridge hits just right, usually whilst there is a cock in his ass.

finn likes renaissance fair music. he considers it to be contemporary, as he was daggered during this period.

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the mug damon made at pottery with enzo:

@crossedsabers10s

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okay so here is the second and final part of (this ask). my answers are a bit shorter but i wanted to fit it all in (pardon the pun)

damon salvatore nsfw alphabet, h-z:

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

likes to make himself pretty and somewhat hairless, with his suggestive little happy trail leading to a manscaped groin. the carpet does, in fact, match the drapes (it would be weird if it didn’t, no?)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

the first time he confessed his love for katherine was when she pegged him (see part one, sect. C)

gets confused between love and lust, as per his canon pining.

definitely has fun playing all lovestruck with human flings.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

why jack off when he can have actual sex?? no but i’m 100% certain he’s masturbated to stefan and elena having sex. and stefan and katherine. because he’s freaky like that.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

enjoys nipple play a little too much. i’m pretty sure that’s actually canon.

he’s also highkey a masochist. which is awkward considering how often he gets tortured.

see part one, section D (dirty secrets).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his bed, obviously. it’s custom made (like a super king bed but bigger) and extra sturdy (no twilight bed breaking here!) for maximum fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

fighting. he picks fights with EVERYONE. often in the hopes that they’ll pin him down and hate fuck him.

literally everything turns him on 😭

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

getting slapped in the face.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i just KNOW he prefers to give - it pleases his ego to know that he can make people turn to jelly with just his tongue. he definitely excels at it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

again, i think he really enjoys playing different parts with his human flings - lovestruck idiot, bad boy etc. so it differs. but he definitely gets uncomfortable when it’s slow and sensual with another vampire.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a good quickie - him and ric while hunting vamps?? or in the bathroom at one of the million town events?? the only sex he loves more than a quickie in the middle of some boring luncheon is a multiple day long sex marathon.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he’ll try anything once. twice, if he’s still on the fence about it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

vamp stamina kinda rules this one out. but i think he can hold out for hours if he so wishes (he rarely does). i feel like with him, foreplay is more important than the actual sex. and takes up 2/3 of the time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

see prev (c). the question is, what toys DOESN’T he own. uses them on himself mostly - no partner of his needs to use any toys, and if they did, it would be because they’re using them on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a TOTAL tease. but once he gets under the sheets, he’d rather be teased. he’s a brat through and through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

embarrassingly needy whines, *very* loud, lots of hitched breaths, choked groans & moans. will try and stifle them but gives that up eventually. begs on rare occasions only.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he has 100% been a stripper —sorry, exotic dancer— for a kink club. easy feeding, free drinks, gets paid to look pretty??? dream job. like, in a human AU, damon defs says he’s gonna drop out and become a stripper at every minor inconvenience. maybe even does do it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

imagining the x-ray goggles poster but it’s stefan looking disgusted as damon walks by.

what’s under his clothes? nothing. absolutely nothing. he refuses underwear on “moral principle”, or so he says. why do i feel like the only underwear he owns is all sexual 😭 like the sluttiest things possible — oh. my god. damon in a lacy g-string???? canon.

probably wears a cock ring on occasion. perhaps even a plug (to make himself pretty for elijah) . at one point he had a prince albert piercing. and nipple piercings at multiple points in time.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

even for a vampire, damon’s libido is impressive. and spontaneous — he gets horny at all of a sudden at inopportune moments. definitely makes fun of his brother for being stuck with a teenager’s sex drive & stamina, even though his is not much better. a perk of that is he can come multiple times with little to no refractory period. and enjoys being fucked even after he finishes.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

conks out during post coital snuggles, if his partner isn’t ready to go again. tells them to wake him up when they are 💀 (or just play with him until he wakes). i feel like he and enzo fall asleep like little otters (holding hands so as to not drift away). he will wake up the instant something changes — if damon finds that ric’s trying to remove his limbs while damon’s happily asleep one more time, i swear to god——

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🎄🧛✨

NEW ORLEANS, 1914 - lore dump

okay so this au (which is always canon to me. in every fic of mine.) was inspired by a few things:

that interaction between kol and damon at the mikaelson ball in s3. “have we met?” “i’ve met a lot of people, and you… don’t particularly stand out.” makes me giggle. they’re so petty and for what.

the fact that marcel would absolutely despise damon. like i can’t imagine two people who would get on WORSE than them. especially since marcel is all about looking out for the little guy (even if it means going against his immediate circle), while damon looks out for his immediate circle only.

i just think that kol hitting on freya, getting rejected & then thinking to himself “ah, she must be a lesbian,” is hilarious. and i think that freya and damon would get on well, partly considering their similar mindsets with the small but profound list of people they’d do anything to protect. and also how freya’s life story is pretty much buck’s, the main character in call of the wild.

SO BASICALLY,

damon steps foot into the quarter and instantly manages to piss off marcel & his witches, but isn’t a big enough issue for klaus to take note of.

he and kol bump into eachother one night, and kol’s instantly suspicious of this young vampire who claims he doesn’t know who the mikaelsons are, and doesn’t bow down to marcel (revels in pissing him off, even). he finds damon refreshing (someone clueless but enthusiastic about vampirism, dislikes marcel, etc.). they then go their separate ways after a night of good fun.

the next night, he’s cornered by the witches in an alley next to the bar he’s in, and freya, who thought he looked pretty / interesting, (maybe saw him befriend her brother?) rescued him because why not. (maybe he reminded her of the man she loved once? maybe she was just getting fed up with the witches in the quarter. who knows). anyways so they become friends, eventually roommates.

so a month or so goes by, damon and freya now bffs, are sitting at a cafe maybe? or a park? idk. anyway, kol struts up (he sees the beautiful woman on a date with that fellow he bumped into a little while back, and decides to ask her out), introduces himself to freya, who goes, “not interested. thanks.” and kol’s all 💡 aha! “one for the ladies then? no matter,” and immediately starts flirting with damon. kol will not be dissuaded from the notion that freya is a lesbian, despite being told so & the fact that she, too, is sleeping with damon. he’s very supportive of her, though.

NOTES

“stirrer in the cauldron” refers to kol poking about the witchy area of the quarter.

witches sensing eachothers magic/family magic — when kol touches freya he can feel the ache of a phantom limb, and since he doesn’t know what that means, he just assumes it’s because she’s powerful/he’s into her. or that it’s because he’s jealous of her magic.

freya owned ‘call of the wild’ first. finds it relatable and inspiring. she gives it (and a copy of little briar rose or smth) to damon for christmas with an inscription (january 2014, dowager fauline cottage / something similar) that damon’s been trying to puzzle out ever since.

“It’s cute that you think this,” she gestures to all of him, “is intimidating.”

It's inconvenient. Damon looks down enough to glare at his traitorous dick. It always gets him into these situations.

FREYA’S FUCKBOY ERA

Freya smiled almost patronizingly. “Oh come on Damon, don’t play dumb. And here I thought that you were more than just a pretty face.”

“it’s a good thing you’re pretty,” Freya sighed, patting Damon on the cheek, “because there’s nothing up here.” Damon pouted as she poked his temple, pupils still blown from his recent feed.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this?” Freya smirked, giving him the least subtle thrice-over Damon’s ever seen.

i can’t find the rest of my notes on this but i’ll rb with more if i do (i have two massive files that aren’t organised - they’re in there somewhere)